Would you carry a child to term for your sister?

Question

Recently, my mom and my sister has tried to persuade me into carry my sister and her husband's baby. My sister has serious problems with her womb, she has a cloged tube, and uterine fibroid. She said she would pay us 10,000 dollar for compensation of my suffering of pregnancy and labor.~ Not that we needed the money.
My sister and I have been close when we were growing up, but I can't imagine to hand over my own child to anyone and I really don't want to hurt her feeling, what should I do? (Biological child) We only had one child, and was plannning to have another one, now that she mention that she wanted our second one, it makes it hard for me to carry another, without the guilt

Answer 1

I don't know if your sister has thought this through. For something as drastic as this, she has picked you? Absolutely, say no! You may feel guilted or browbeaten by your sister and your mom but they are whacked out on some sort of new age fairy dust to even suggest such a thing! Why have they not considered this: you would be carrying a baby, giving birth to her or him, and handing the baby over immediately to your sister. Then you would be missing said baby but seeing said baby often, as aforementioned party of the fifth part (part of you/your husband/her/her husband/ baby team) grows up in front of your eyes! You shouldn't be afraid to carry your own child - because it would make your sister feel bad - but you should run like hell from any suggestion that you would be surrogate mother for hers!
Honestly, what mania is running through your family these days - you've been offered money that could just as easy be offered to another experienced, well-adjusted surrogate mother who is not a member of your family and doesn't have to live with all the tension arising for many YEARS after the birth. Is your sister absolutely crazy from the infertility problems that she is clutching to you like someone sinking with the Titanic?
Tell her firmly and clearly 'No' and stand your ground or you will regret it. Tell her you will hold her hand as she searches for a suitable surrogate and you will give her all the moral support in the world, including waiting to have your second child until after she has her first. This is an incredible GIFT - to alter your own life plans because of your sister's panic at having a child. But do it anyway - she sounds like she wants people around her to give in to this craziness and you can afford to wait until her frantic quest is done.

Answer 2

I think that I would do this for my sister, but this is about what you would do. Do you know that she can't have children, or do her problems just make conception difficult? If this is the case, I think that she should relax and pray about it. Don't take fertility drugs or treatments, don't monitor ovulation, just enjoy the time that she has with her husband to enjoy each other and make love because they want to, not in hopes of conceiving a child. I am a firm believer that stressing out about conception can hinder it--just let it happen naturally. Then, if it does, they will have some wonderful memories of the husband and wife time that they shared before the baby came into their lives. If there is a chance that they can do it themselves, they should keep trying without the stress and scheduling. If she knows that it is not possible, the choice is up to you. The Internet is a great resource for researching what exactly you would have to go through--you may have to take hormones or other medications that will encourage the embyo to implant into your uterus. If you even consider this, you would have to stop thinking of it as your child. The baby would have their genetic information and you would really just be a nine month incubator. If you did this, you should try to include your sister in the pregnancy as much as possible, like letting her feel the kicks, going with you to the ob/gyn, etc. DO NOT let this decision or your own decision to have another child be made out of guilt. You have to do what feels right to you, and your sister should understand that this is a very personal and invasive favor that she has asked of you.

Answer 3

Wow....absolutely NO WAY should you (and/or your husband) feel guilty about having a second child for YOU TWO!! I'm sure your first child would love to have a sibling! It's not your fault that your sister is unable to have a baby and you should not feel guilty about giving YOURSELF another child, if you so choose to do so. You and your sister may be close, but, there are other women she could have do this for her. I don't think having a sister (or any family member) do this is a good idea. Frankly, I think it's a very bad idea! Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

I sympathize with you, girl. My God, that is a tough one.
First of all, whatever decision you make, you have to be at peace with it. This involves not just one person and many peoples' lives and emotions will be split and in turmoil.
If it were me, the answer would have been an easy no. I could not ever, in good conscience, give birth to a baby that is not mine and then give it up. You bond and are attached to that baby for 9-10 months. How can you go through labor and then hand the baby over to your sister and be known as aunt for the rest of your life? You will have to watch that baby grow knowing that you held it in your body and gave it life. Good luck in whatever decision you make

Answer 5

properly i think of you need to hold the toddler. you would be giving your sister exhilaration. And the toddler isnt your's that's hers. you would be resonsible for bringing your niece or nephew into the worldwide. She is your sister and you like one yet another and love suffers for the sake of the family contributors member.I additionally think of that your sister shouldn't ought to pay you for something by fact which you're family contributors and family contributors is extremely substantial.and such as you stated u dont want the money yet whilst u ever did your loved ones ought to desire that may well be useful you by fact which you're family contributors and that's what families ought to do. once you have her toddler, you need to get pregnant with your very own. your baby will develop up with a cousin. that's solid which you care approximately your sister. you 2 ought to continuously attempt to be there for another. God bless you!

Answer 6

i don't want to make up your mind for you, but what a gift of love that would be,and you are the closest she can get to-having a child of her own, it would still have her family traits, i know giving it up after car ring for 9 months would be very hard, Ive carried 2 children to,but knowing this child would still be in the family and you could still see him or her grow up,and knowing your sister, you know she would be a good mother?i would do it for my sister, i know she's a good person, got a good head on her shoulders and would be an awesome mom, but it would be scary if she did ask, id think you would all need to talk to a professional first-good luck to you all, i would seek religious guidance to.god bless and good luck

Answer 7

I would do anything for my sisters.
If your sister has a good doctor, she may still be able to carry her own pregnancy.
My girlfriend has twins. Invitro fertilization. It took 3 tries, but she finally got her babies.

Answer 8

No. You should continue growing your family, guilt free. Suggest adoption to your sister.

Answer 9

1

Answer 10

Have your own biological second baby first and then if your doctor says it's O.K. - a couple yrs. later have their biological baby for them. It's all a mind set.....