Due To Pain I am Treating Others Poorly?

Question

Due To Pain I am Treating Others Poorly?
I am waiting to have a 2nd Total Knee Replacement in 4 years. I am in my 40's. After a life of activity and fun it may be 4 more months before the surgery can be done due to finances. I am miserable. The pain is unbearable. The cement that held my replacement together came apart and is completely gone! My husband will not let the DR prescribe pain pills for me until after the surgery because he does not believe in pain relievers for any reason other that severe surgery. I am mad at him. I feel so bored I can't stand it. I have read, done needlepoint, everything I can think of without using my knee. I can't work. Losing all my friends. Nice, huh. My husband says I'm causing his life to be nothing but ****. He just doesn't how hard this is. How can I be nicer. I am tired of staring at the walls and I really don't feel like I bother him. I am going crazy and so anxious I could go through the roof. Are there any support groups around? Thanks.

Answer 1

You have the right to have pain pills and you have the right to tell your husband to go **** himself if he won't get them for you.
I bet he would be drowning in painkillers if it was his knees.

Tell him, He can do all the housework until you have no pain again. And no sex ever.

Answer 2

Why is the doctor listening to your husband and not prescribing the painkillers? Here's the thing: your husband can ONLY be involved in your treatment plan if you allow him to be. Most doctors make you sign a piece of paper saying who can and cannot have access to test results, etc. other than you. Health information is private, between you and you doctor. Your husband has no right to say whether you can have painkillers or not. He cannot "let" the doctor do or not do anything to you-- only YOU can. Your friends are probably not being involved with you anymore because they see that your husband is emotionally abusive and controlling and you're allowing it and they can't stand to see you be treated that way.You don't need to be nicer, you need to stand up for yourself and get the relief you need so that you can lead a normal, happy, pain-free life (which is your RIGHT and something you deserve). Stop letting your husband decide what you need medically and let the person who is trained to do so make those decisions-- your DOCTOR. It sounds like your husband is causing his own life to be nothing but ****, and if he's treating you this way, you need to get rid of him. He doesn't have to lay a hand on you to abuse you, and that's exactly what he's doing. You deserve so much better and so much more, and you have the power to get it, you just have to stand up for yourself. None of this is your fault.

Answer 3

How dare your husband sit there like God and tell you you have to suffer because he doesn't believe in pills. Who cares what he believes, its none of his business. It is your pain not his. Get pain meds on your own, your doctor does not have to listen to your husband, you are a grown women not his child. I would make his life so freaking miserable it wouldn't even be funny. I've been in pain management for 8 years now and I'm on pain meds around the clock, if my husband ever said anything to me about this he wouldn't be my husband very long. His treatment of you is cruel and abusive. Don't take it, you don't have to take it. He sounds like a controlling freak. After I got better, if I were you, I would leave him, and by the way it doesn't sound to me like your treating others poorly, it sounds like your being treated poorly. It is very, very hard to be in pain every day and be stuck in the house with nothing to do. I'm there too. Just keep the faith baby and lose the loser.

Answer 4

I think your attitude could change tremendously if you are not In so much pain. your husband doesn't understand pain, if he did he would let you have pain pills.

I know how difficult it is to be bedridden. I have been bedridden for seventeen years. I have went through the same things as you: losing friends, losing my temper, and bored out of my mind.

What has helped me has been deep breathing exercises. It relaxes me and provides more oxygen to my body so I feel better. Also answering questions on yahoo is very beneficial because I can forget about my own problems and concentrate on someone else's.

There are many support groups listed for disabled people. Run a search And see which ones you like. I've enclosed a few for you.

If you have any questions feel free to let me know.
Best wishes,
Billie77

Answer 5

Your husband is being sadistic and abusive by not allowing you access to pain relief. Why you need his permission for pills is beyond me in the first place.

I live with pain also and understand how you feel. For heaven's sake, get a prescription for pain meds. You do that, and everything else is going to fall right into place.

Be sure to make your husbasnd's life as miserable as he's making yours. Then once you're back on your feet, divorce him. You don't deserve such cruel treatment.

Answer 6

I'll think oilment or Japanese plaster can temporary relief your pain, so why not try it out, no harm. Whereas, those oral pain killer medicine is harmful to your kidney when taken too much.Hope you can try it out !