This is why my ex-boyfriend told me he broke up with me after almost a year. I still do not understand this concept. He said he was not ready to be in a serious relationship, and said he didn't think he was capable of being in love. I keep blaming the whole thing on myself, arguments I started, things I could have prevented, stupid things I did, etc. Please help. Thank you.
2007-04-15 03:02:54 · 15 answers · asked by Halo729 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, its completly unreasonable to blame soley yourself.
There were days where HE started the fights and the arguments... being in a relationship is a two-way-street.
so it can NEVER be your falut alone.
With that said, I just wanted to say that guys, particularily young guys, are changing and growing, even when they hit their 20's.... and so will you. In a woman's eyes, a year is a long time...a guy, see's it as ONE year...uno. not 5 or 6yrs.
genders think differently when it comes to relationships.
Maybe he is stressed out, not with you, but with his own insecurities and flaws...does he work? go to school? family issues? whatever the case may be, he ovbiously needs his space...and space is good sometiimes... space shows us whether that person was truly the right person for us. you should use this space apart to benefit yourself as well.
see what YOU want out of life, your young i pressume, and you still have alot alot ALOT going for you...so take some time off to start finding those things. also, whos to say that you two are breaking up forever?!? NO ONE! that is such a SLIM possibilites that you two wont get back together.
give him some time, and in the meantime, dont wait around for him, go out, live, learn, date....enjoy life...and if he happens to fall back into your life once again, then maybe you two are really meant to be....and if not, then its better you learned this news NOW, after only 1 year.... INSTEAD of being with him for 5 or 6 years.... or even worse, getting married, having kids, and then realizing that this person isnt the one.
all things happen for a reason...both the good things and the not so wonderful things...just rememeber that.
good luck! :)
2007-04-15 03:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you were dating a man that said what he had to say at the time to make himself feel good. It probably made you feel good at the time to hear I love you when he said it. At least he admits he loved you. My boyfriend of three years likes to take back his I love yous every once in a while and he pretends like he doesn't care. I think that you should look at the year long relationship as a learning experience and be glad you weren't in a dead end relationship longer. Trust me. Don't blame yourself maybe he really wasn't ready for a serious relationship that is his issue not yours.
2007-04-15 10:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by ♥itsme♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself for a single moment. Try not to regret anything you've done in the past relationship with him because he obviously thought nothing of it in terms of love.
There was nothing you could have prevented that would have changed his mind. As for the arguments you've started they would have started anyway, sooner or later.
The best thing for you right now is to do your best to get over him and focus on yourself for a while. Take all that effort you put into your relationship and put it into you. Go have fun, and forget about the guy that wasn't in love with you. Next thing you know you'll find someone that catches your eye.
2007-04-15 10:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by kickstatus101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to think that it was one of the stupidest, insensitive, hurtful things one could say to another. That was before I really understood the concept. I know better now.
If he's being truthful, it means he cares for you deeply, but is not into you like a lover-only like a true friend. In other words, you don't "click." That obsessive, romantic feeling just isn't there or he's not totally attracted to you. The other possiblity is that it's an excuse to get out of an unfulfilling relationship and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being more direct in telling you it's just not working.
Either way, it's over. Sorry.
2007-04-15 10:16:38 · answer #4 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The quote there has loved in past tense so it must have meant he did love you, but he didnt love you like the way he would love another women. It was like a close relationship like a brother and sister kind of relationship. But since he said he wasnt ready foir a serious relationship give him sometime, stress can also play in role in this because if he has other situations to handle and dosent want to drag you down he might have broke up with you. Try talking to him again and dont ask why you both broke up but what happened because i dont think he would like to answer why we broke up?
Good Luck
2007-04-15 10:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mr.Jackie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put all the blame on yourself! I'm sure there are things he did that hurt the relationship. When he says that he loves you but he's not in love with you he just means that he loves you as a person (loves the way you laugh,talk, loves being around you, etc.). Being in love is hard because it means that you have to put the other person first in your life, and maybe he's just to selfish right now. Don't let it bother you just find someone that can love you and be in love with you!
2007-04-15 11:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that he doesn't want to be with you 24/7. But you basically answered the question in your last sentence above. Why would a guy stay with a chick who's giving him that much drama and grief. Guys don't like being with girls who complicate their lives and cause undo misery all the time.
Chill out and become someone that a guy would want to be with instead of someone they want to get away from. Learn from this mistake before you get into another relationship. This one's over, get use to it.
2007-04-15 10:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is how i feel about my current boyfriend.
i love many things about him, and i feel very comfortable with him, but there isn't that CONNECTION or SPARK with him. In other words, i don't think of him the moment i wake up, and he doesn't fulfill me, and i've never felt those "butterflies" or a great attraction toward him.
i'm not that physically attracted to him, either (but there isn't anything wrong with the way he looks).... i just don't "feel it" with him.
he's a great guy and boyfriend, but he's not the person i want to be with forever. we have too many, HUGE differences (such as life priorities, level of ambition, and there are other things, too).
he is a wonderful person, i'll give him that. i'm just not "in love"
2007-04-15 10:14:58 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a nice way to end things, he thinks. It didn't work out. Let go, and find someone who appreciates you or have a blast being single. If you want him back ignore the crap out of him, act happy and date someone else. He'll be back in a week.
2007-04-15 10:18:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sunday P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he watches a lot of t.v.
That line is as old as Mork and Mindy. He still wants to be able to come back for a little something something, but he does not want to be tied down to you. Move on.
2007-04-15 10:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by MissUnderstood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋