Are Some Wedding Traditions Outdated?

Question

If you are getting married, or just want to give your opinion, are you ignoring some 'traditions', just because the meaning behind them is so old, they have become meaning-less? Or are you on board with all of it, like tossing the bouquet to all of your single girlfriends, even though most have been divorced twice already and have 3 kids each?

Answer 1

I never plan on getting married, but I think the traditions have become obsolete in a world of lying, cheating, and divorce. I just was a part of WWII Oral History Day at my old high school and I can't begin to explain how much respect I have for those older men and women. Marragie in their time really meant forever and there was a shred of truth behind throwing the bouquet. Those with single friends usually would be getting married soon and the thought of divorce was barely a thought. Every man in the room was married (if their wife hadn't passed away), and the pride in introducing their wives was simply shocking. One couple had been married 62 years and still held hands and whispered to eachother. I think a lot of people get in to the engagement with the idea that this will be the same for them. Today however, it seems like marraige has an underlying clause that "for better or for worse" means that if it gets too bad, you can get out of it. We are in a world of binding contracts and broken promises. Sorry for being so pessimistic. I just had a really interesting experience with the veterans and it got me a little sentimental for the past. I don't, however, believe that people should stay in bad marraiges. For that, I am glad the times have changed and it is more acceptable for men and women to leave bad situations. Best of luck to all those getting married in the future.

Answer 2

Hi! With my wedding, we are kinda ignoring some of the typical traditions and doing our own thing!!

One of the ones we are doing though is throwing the bouquet and garter... but more or less cause the little kids attending the wedding/reception love to do that kinda thing!! I was seven when I caught a bouquet and I still have it!! (I dried it out and kept it). So I know all the little girls would like to do that...
I am not doing the something borrowed, something blue... instead I asked each of my bridesmaids and the mothers to write on these strips of paper a memory or a well-wish... and my florist is going to wrap them around the handle of my bouquet!!! (also make copies so I can read them later).
I think you can do whatever you want, these quirky little traditions, although their meaning has changed throughout the years.. are just to add some sentimentality to your wedding. I always tell brides to have their own tradition that they can pass down thru their families.... I wish you luck and if you chose to or not to do something, do it because you want to or don't... don't think because you've been divorced, or aren't a virgin ect.... you can't do things.. it's your wedding... do what you want.. and have a blast!!!

Answer 3

The biggest tradition gone by the wayside is having parents pay for the wedding. Couples these days are working, so they pay for their own wedding expenses.
About the tossing of the bouquet, it's fine if it is to SINGLE women - being divorced is not sing.e!
Glad to see fewer and fewer doing the garter toss, which is utterly demeaning to women, and tossing a bundle of candy or something instead, or just not doing it.
I always disliked the idea of the fakey wedding cake thing - seemed so forced and contrived, about making a big deal out of cutting a cake! We gave out wrapped and decorated traditional fruitcake, for our guests to put under their pillows and dream upon. As a major decoration then for the head table, we had a three tier arrangement of traditional Ukrainian wedding breads, decorated in our colours.

Answer 4

There are many traditions in various cultures that are outdated.But most go through it.
I do smile when I see some brides wear "white" to a wedding. The meaning of white is lost.
Specially after a second and third wedding.
Also, a 'honeymoon' has no meaning if the couple has been living together . And so on.
The bouquet part is the least. It is a 'fun' thing.

Answer 5

YES some are outdated. I will throw my bouquet (because it is fun to give someone a nice bouquet of good luck to take home) BUT i will NOT throw a guarder. Traditionally the bride throws a bouquet then the groom throws the bride's guarder and then the 2 people that catch them have to put it on the woman's leg in front of everyone. i think it is not funny and horrible to embarrass 2 guests. So i will only throw the bouquet.

Answer 6

I'm not getting married anytime soon but I just wanted to say that I would probably go with most traditions. And I would definitely throw the bouquet.

Answer 7

On the whole, my entire wedding will be pretty non-traditional.

We don't want to get married in a church. I'd like to have both men and women standing on my side of the wedding party. I don't want a veil. I'd like one of my wedding colors to be black. I don't think I'll be walking down an aisle so much as I'd like to do a "wedding in the round" (a round central stage with several aisles between the seats). And I want both of my parents to give me away, not just my dad.

I'm still throwing the bouquet though. I can't wait to see my friends scatter when it comes their direction. One of my female friends is a lesbian and one is bi. Only one of them is a traditional single girl who has never been married.

Answer 8

Oh yes.

Traditions we are not doing:

1. parents are not paying for the wedding
2. the duties for our wedding party are not that detailed like the wedding planning books state.
3. secular wedding
4. no shoving cake into our faces
5. the whole "white dress means purity" (which is not the ORIGINAL meaning of wearing a white dress, look it up on wikipedia)... I'm not a virgin and I most likely will be wearing white.
6. Not having it in church. It will be at the beach.

There are a lot more things we are not doing that are traditional but can't think of them right now.

Answer 9

We did things slightly nontraditionally in my wedding.

1. My stepson gave the bride away.

2. The bride entered to "Canon in D" and not the wedding march.

3. The bride wore white because, while it wasn't true with respect to the original meaning of the white dress, it was true within the context of our relationship. (In other words, *our* first time was the wedding night.)

4. She had two attendants, I had one.

5. The wedding ended, right before "you may kiss the bride", with the Irish Blessing.

6. And the entire thing was at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

We just did what we wanted to do and liked it. :-)

Answer 10

They are traditions because they have been done for many years and usually fun. They don't have to be done though. If you don't want throw the bouquet, don't.