what should i do?

Question

my ex he gets to see our girls every second saturday for the night and holidays such as christmas etc we get along quite well so when he couldnt take them 2 weeks ago because he had to work and his wife finds it hard looking after all 4 kids (they have twins together) i didnt mind as he came to take them out to lunch sunday then easter he couldnt have them as she had family comming from the uk and they had to pick them up etc i was a little annoyed but he came and seen them the day after when he finished work then last night he was meant to have them but said he couldnt agian i had to cancel my plans to stay at home with the girls i figured they were doing somethin with the family from uk but when i meet up today to take the kids to maccas for lunch his wife was whinging she couldnt get this stamp of her hands when i asked where it came from she goes oh we went to an opening of a new night club "excuse me u cancel the night with ur kids for the 3rd time in a row to go clubbing?"

am i just being childish or do i have the right to be mad

Answer 1

You could go ahead and be angry, but how does that change the situation?

Talk with your ex about your feelings, if it's that important to you, but also let him know how disappointed your girls were even though he "made it up to them". Talk about it all from their standpoint: they need consistency, they need to be able to depend on their father being there when he says he will, etc. Do not bring up the clubbing; he's no longer married to you and he doesn't have to provide excuses to you.However, he does have to be able to defend his decisions to his daughters when such decisions negatively impact them.

Emphasizing how these changes affect your girls will take the attention away from you - and your complaints - and place it where it belongs: on your children. As long as they're the center of attention, he will have no reasons to complain about you, but he will have many reasons to make certain he shows up for the girls when he say he will.

You can do this.

Answer 2

At least your ex is still seeing the kids (either the next day after work etc.)
I would ask him how he found that to be more important? than seeing his children?
He may say it was a good friends opening night, or something to do with his work/boss....either way he did feel it was more important that he went there.
He's now juggling between 2 families to spend quality time with his girls and with his new twins and new wife.......give him some slack, keep track of his changes* to see if it continues. (meaning...when he cancels...write in a journal the reason he gave you for cancelling and when he finally came back to visit with his girls.)
Don't make too much of an issue with this right now........your girls will sense the tension between you and their dad.......Just keep making notes .......Goodluck*

Answer 3

That new wife is getting rid of your kids.
You have a right to be angry. Your beef is with him not her. He has the responsibility to uphold his end of the visitation agreement, and if he is letting her manipulate him then he should be held responsible. Let him know that the next time he cancels he will have to wait until the next scheduled visit to see his girls. I know this is blackmail, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It also seems that he is sneaking around to see his girls. You are very accommodating, and they are taking advantage.

Answer 4

IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS NEW WIFE DOESN'T WANT YOUR KIDS AROUND. HER FAMILY SHOULD WANT TO BE ROUND YOUR KIDS TOO. YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR EX ABOUT WHY HE ISN'T WANTING YOUR KIDS AS MUCH. THAT ISN'T FAIR TO THE KIDS.

Answer 5

Tell the jerk to have more responsibility for himself !

Answer 6

you are being used.