he makes me have very low self esteem for some reason. what should i do? brake up...? please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please...
2007-04-15 00:59:54 · 23 answers · asked by britney spears 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you can not possibly enter into a marriage with these doubts. apart from your own interests, it would be a wrong thing for you to do to him.
it would be wrong to say break up or work through on this limited info, but since you say "he makes me have.." I'd suggest that you should not be in a relationship with anyone right now, and I would be looking for a good reason not to say "break up, and do not get into another relationship until you have spent a lot of time wiht a counseller exploring why you feel that way"
whatever he does wrong, he does not make you feel anything. he can bully you, and disrespect you, but you have to take responsibility for what you feel about it, and why, if you dont like it, you are in the relationship.
my instincts are that you have been powerless in a previous relationship (family or otherwise) as a child and you have learned bad coping skills, that you need to sort out. If you dont it will impair any relationship that you might otherwise be able to get into.
2007-04-15 01:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by hustolemyname 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think 20 is too young to be getting married to begin with but thats just my personal opinion. You have so much yet to experience! Sorry. Lol.
I think if you're online asking for other peoples advice about the guy you are going to marry then you've kind of answered your own question. He may love you and vice versa but he puts you down in order to ensure you never leave or outshine him in anyway.
Personally i believe the one you marry should be the one who boosts you up because you're acheivements and accomplishments are theirs as well. They should be able to share the joys of your life and be excited that you are shining, not putting you down and discouraging you.
I can tell you now though that he will never change. Never, if anything putting you down and discouraging you will become even worse as the years go by. You're biggest problem will come when you start to believe the things he says and unless you're okay with that then i think you need to hit the brakes on this relationship. It's really your decision to make but i know i could never marry someone who didn't encourage me and give me the confidence to go for everything i ever want out of life.
Good luck and i wish you all the best for the future, whatever decision you come to.
2007-04-15 01:11:01 · answer #2 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry that man. You are 20. You are too young to get married. I'm sure your parents told you that already. If you want to have sex you don't have to get married. You have low self esteem? No you don't have low self esteem you are just in need of maturity. Stay in school. Your self esteem, confidence and maturity will come as a result of your personal accomplishments. Get your BA then your MA. Graduate and become secure in your career. Then find someone who can "support" you. This man can't support you because he himself is a child. You are looking for the love and nurture that you have at home with your parents then stay home with your parents. This man whom you are having sex with needs to keep you beneath him because thats how he feels big. Hello! It's the oldest game in the book. Good luck, darling. Do No Get Married! Good luck.
2007-04-15 01:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by Luch d 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I kinda think it's probably not a good direction for you to go, hun. If you don't want to dump his @ss at least postpone the wedding and go to couples counseling
Your husband should make you feel stronger. If he's not doing that then something has to change or you're gonna be really unhappy later.
Just out of curiosity? How was your self esteem before you met? If it was good then it's probably him. If not, you might need to mature a little bit before marriage. Please don't take that the wrong way, it's intended as helpful criticism.
2007-04-16 14:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by Oprah's Minge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you probable should not get married. I know that sucks. But the whole thing about getting married is to be with that one person that makes you a better person. Who will love you, take care of you, not destroy you.
I know that when I was 20 years old, I thought that I could have gotten married at that time, but WOW am I glad that I did not. I was way to young, so are you. Get out there and be with someone who doesn't have some inner issues that need to be dealt with. You deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck & Follow your heart, I think you already know what you need to do.
2007-04-15 01:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by *tiffany* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you need to slow down. Hopping from one person to the next is not what I would consider a wise lifestyle. Have some morals. If you are unhappy then you need to get out of your situation. Your daughter can always be a part of her father life. But if you think the situation is not going to change, that's not healthy for you or your daughter. But I also don't think you need to run to your ex. Why in the world are trying to settle down so fast? You really need to be on your own for awhile and spend some quality time just you and your daughter. Hopping from one man to the next doesn't teach your daughter good morals either. All it will teach her is that bed hopping is ok. If your ex really wants to be with you then he will give you space and time for just you and your daughter.
2016-05-20 03:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but you're still young. If he's like that now, just imagine what he'll be like in a few years - if you guys make it that long.
It's not worth it to go through with the wedding if that's how he makes you feel all the time, even if you have stuff bought and deposits down. Unfortunately, most people don't change.
The person you should marry is one that makes you complete. Someone that drags you down isn't the one for you.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-04-15 04:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can give you confidence or self-esteem. Those traits come from within. Surround yourself with people who help you do that for yourself. Avoid people who create an environment where you feel bad about yourself. If you aren't comfortable in your own skin around your fiancee, you need to look inside and decide if you are making the right choice.
2007-04-15 01:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS GUY.
Love based on appearance and out side attraction is temporary. So, if he only cares about your looks and how you dress, then he doesn't really love you...
You have to find someone who likes you the way you are....and sees what good person you are from inside, not how good you look from the outside...
There is a reson why we call love is blind, this means that you are not able to see the bad things in the one you love....
but if he only sees bad things in you than he doesn't truely love you...
How are you going to spend the rest of your life with him...
If i were you, i rather stay unmarried for the rest of my life than marry a person who puts me down all the time..
In the end.....Its your Life... & your Choice....
2007-04-16 06:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by Tiku P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait before you get married. talk to him frankly and find out why he is acting like that, may be what you are thinking is different than what he is thinking, he may be just playing with you since you are young and to make you more confident,,
so the best thing is be frank and tell him what you feel from such attitude and see how he responds.
if still if you feel uncomfortable then you can tell him that if that is the case then we can part right now instead of getting married
you should be frank it is your life.
tell him you appreciate confidence from his side. he might change if you tell him apart getting apart ,
so try out this and then decide.
2007-04-15 02:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by janam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋