i am a religious jew but there aren't many jewish guys or girls where I go to college. I want to hang with them, but it is weird bec I keep kosher (so i cant eat with them) and I keep sabath so sat or fri nights are gone. what can I do to hang with them but not to unload my religious things on them? i also want to go out with a girl, but the whole kosher thing comes back so what can i do?
2007-04-14 19:32:45 · 7 answers · asked by peter the great 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In terms of dating, because your religion is such a dominant part of your life, the best course for you would be to find a nice Jewish girl who would understand "where you are coming from". As for friends, you don't need to eat with them to have them. You do, however, have to have other topics of conversation than the trials of being a Jew.
2007-04-14 19:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Peter, I apologize for any further insensitivity, but I'm not a member of the Jewish faith. Most of my information comes from some very nice religious sites (although I'll only cite one).
According to most rabbinical scholars, the Sabbath is a day of rest, true. However, this rest pertains only to rest from work. In fact, "play" is encouraged as it reminds us that the Sabbath is meant as a day of joy, not sadness.
Further, a very important person (some of you may know Him), said that "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath". While you may not subscribe to this school of thought (or the religion attached to it), it rather well references what appears to be everyone's point.
There's no direct rule that I can find that prevents you from dating on the weekend. Unless you're counting on using a vehicle, and are against using a vehicle on the Sabbath (shouldn't ignite fule (kindle a fire) or drive the car (move an object)), or are very strict on the Sabbath celebration (Friday and Saturday nights, the Sabbath is greeted and departed, respectively; in a small ceremony).
As far as your question (the above was mostly an explanation as to his feelings on this issue, for the benefit of others), it's true you don't have to eat with them. But, if you're hungry, why not pack a lunch or something? They would be in the wrong for wanting you to abandon your beliefs so that you would eat "their" food (it's all G-d's food, really).
There are plenty of other nights you can date people. You don't even have to "unload (your) religious things on them", just say you're busy those two nights (which you are, for G-d). Make up something about a "family thing" (Sabbath ceremonies are traditionally held in a family setting), and mention how important your family is to you, if you feel you have to.
Now, dating the girl should have nothing to do with the "kosher thing". Just eat at a restaurant that serves meals you know to be kosher (consult with your local synagogue), or ask the restaurant to prepare your meal kosher (many will accomodate you). If they don't know, feel free to inform them. Really, it would be to their GREAT disadvantage if they didn't (most restaurants hate the prospect of losing a customer, particularly if you tell them that you'll be bringing dates back there if they'll accomodate you). If you're at your wit's end: just don't eat out with her until you feel she'd be more accepting of your religion.
Anyone worth having will accept you for who you are, and move past (if not even embrace) your religion and everything else that makes you unique. Just remember not to limit yourself so much in the women you date. Consult with your Rabbi as to inter-religion marriages (even if only within the sects of judaism), so you don't miss out on your perfect mate.
2007-04-15 03:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by earl71972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peter, your problem is only as serious as you want to make it. If you are orthodox, then look for orthodox groups. If you can't find the right girl at your school, look around town (if there is one) and if you can't find a girl locally, consider a long-range relationship. Yes, "mixed" relationships between orthodox and non0orthodox anything can be difficult. Such problems can be dealt with but the certainly do make life challenging. I realize it's not much consolation to say that some day you will find what you're looking for, you want an answer NOW. I don't have any such answers, only suggestions to keep looking. Good luck.
2007-04-15 02:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try living in this day and age and comprimise. If you had a gf who was not religious, it would be tough to get her to stay in every fri and sat night. Why is it just fri and sat? Because they dont want you to have fun?
I dont know how it works, but Im sure nothing bad would happen if you let go a little...
Try finding girls that are jewish? Go online and type in jewish dating sites, Im sure there is something!
2007-04-15 02:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Get_Funky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Peter, This is a tough one. No friday or saturday nights. Can you go out on a Sunday?? If so why not hang out with the gang and get to know them and they know you. Maybe on another Sunday you could see if this girl you like would like to go on a walk with you. Then you 2 can get to know each other. Just try it and see how things work out. You may like it.
A Friend.
Clowmy
2007-04-15 02:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become a christian.
Jesus set us free!
2007-04-15 02:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mackenzie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
JUSS SIT N FLRIT..HOPE IT WORKZ
2007-04-15 02:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by ··¤HiS PRiNCESS¤·· 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋