parents fighting HELP?

Question

my parents have been together for 14 years and recently havent stopped fighting.... they fight over the most stupidest things and latley my mum has been getting upset and wanting a divorce...
for the past week my parents havent been sleepin together so i rekon they will get divorced.
i hate it wen they fight and when they do i just wanna walk out and go up to a friend/ family house and stay there

plz help i dont know wat to do about mi parents

my mum said that they rae onli still together coz of us kids!!!

Answer 1

its not ur fault that they are fighting, so u cant do anything.
they are adults and responsible for their own actions.
some people are just not meant to be with each other constantly.
it does not mean that they love u less.

EDIT:
even if they say they are together just cause of the kids, again it's not your fault that they are fighting. they are adults and need to be responsible for themselves, including emotions. YOU are NOT the reason they are fighting. they are both selfish and only care about themselves. they should not blame others for their actions. they lack responsiblity. when u grow up make sure u dont act like them. ok?

Answer 2

My parents recently went through a divorce, so I know exactly how you are feelings. They were married 22 years and got divorced. It's really hard at first, but in the long run, everyone is much happier. If I were you, I'd try to focus on other aspects of your life so you don't get overwhelmed. Spend a lot of time with your friends and things you enjoy doing. It's ultimately up to your parents if they want to work things out or not. But it sounds like they will get divorced, so the best thing for you to do is support them because they are both probably really hurting right now. But don't worry, divorce isn't the end of the world. My mom is getting married soon, and it's really nice to see her so happy. You'll see, everything will be okay. But I'm sorry that everything is so stressful for you right now.

Answer 3

Shayna, see how much you learn by asking these questions. It is definitely not your fault that your parents are fighting. But you are on the receiving end of a lot of fall out. That's tough. Your parents have to decide if the marriage is worth saving. If they are staying in only because of the kids, and the kids are living in hell because of the tensions, then get the kids together and tell the parents to split and stop the tension. An honest split may be better than a dishonest marriage that is filled with hate and tension. Suggest your parents seek therapy...and you might consider therapy for yourself as well. You have my support in this. Good luck.

Answer 4

Ask your mom why she and your dad don't go to marital counseling only to learn to get along better while they DO stay together. Tell her that the fighting upsets you. Divorce is pretty harsh - probably something that your mother sees as a relief from the fighting but counseling would help provide relief from the fighting too. Do you ever tell your parents that divorce feels hurtful to the kids in a family? They probably would say you'll get over it. You would but in the meantime, adults lose sight of the fact that divorce affects everyone. They need to be reminded of this sometimes.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. That must be really stressful. Even though they aren't sleeping together, there is always a chance they will make up. Why don't you talk to them and tell them you are really scared about their fighting? It is o.k. to be scared even though you are a teenager. Your parents may have a reason to be mad at each other that you aren't aware of. They are probably so tied up in their own drama that they don't even realize they are hurting you. Tell them you hope they work it out. (Or if you think they are better off apart, tell them you support their choice either way.) Regardless, let them know that the tension is worrying you and ask if you can stay with someone else until they can work this out.

Answer 6

The main thing is that you take care of yourself and if you have a faith, pray to God about their marriage. And don't give up doing that.

There isn't anything more you can do. You are not a councellor and no guilt or responsibiity should lie on your shoulders. They themselves need to get help if that is what they wish to do.

You could also talk to each one seperately and let them know what impact this is having on you seeing this happen. Or even write each one a letter if you find that easier. They need to be more aware of your feelings, instead of concentrating on bickering over petty things because they both have an axe to grind.

Answer 7

Shayna,

Wow Im sorry about your parents. I have gone through that in the past and know what its like to have your heart ache to restore the peace they once had. Things to do would be to engage them in reminding them about how they met and fell in love. Ask them to tell you the time they first met, putting them back and causing them to remember.

Go out to the part together and just relax and try to be at peace. Encourage them to get away for a weekend.
Remind them that a divorce is the "easy way out", marriage is tough but it was meant to last. Its a COMMITMENT not an APPOINTMENT (something you can cancel)

And most importantly, get on your knees. "On our knees, we are the tallest force in this Earth"--Rev. Billy Grahmn. Pray that God will give the love that brought them together in the1st place will manefest itself in their hearts and cause them to be alive with wonder again. And finally, remind them that the best expression of Love is not sex, money or pleasure........its time.

Answer 8

Maybe if they got a divorce they would be a lot happier and you could live in a house where you do not have to walk out and go to friends house.

Answer 9

My parents are divorced..
well maybe try to tell them you hate it when they fight and get them out to dinner or something

Answer 10

well u should think about much of this because it's yuor parent's problems. the parents never want's to get upset bcause of them so just tell your mom u're worried about it. and it bothers u just talk 2 how u feels.