My husband's sister, mom, and brother's are mad at him because he can't go to his sister's wedding because he is going back to Saudi Arabia again and they can't seem to understand that he has to do his job. How can I get them to understand that?
2007-04-14 16:16:43 · 21 answers · asked by JG78 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't want to be any part of it but he dosn't know how to get it through them that he can't go with out them making him feel bad about not going.
2007-04-14 16:22:26 · update #1
by not being any part of it I mean I don't want to get in the middle of it because it's between him and his family not me.
2007-04-14 16:39:58 · update #2
If HE won't tell them himself...to STAND down then you best take the observation deck on this one.
Obviously they have no respect for his risking his life for what they obviously take for granted.
NO ONE can get other people to understand ANYTHING they don't want to.
Just love your husband up extra, let him know YOU are proud of him and tell him I am grateful for him too.
2007-04-14 16:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anna C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At this time if he has made a decision that he cant go then let him handle this because he needs to have a very open mind and he needs to get support and not trouble over the wedding. Its like their are little kids, I hope the family does understand the importance of his job. You are doing a good job, Stay away from this, but same time just be nice to the family because their are also missing a part of the family. You cant get them to understand any think so dont try it, its going to run over you. I know its hard but you have to support your man. Bless his heart. Good luck.
2007-04-14 16:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't. If they do not accept it at its face value then they will have to make their peace with it. There are very few things that cannot be changed and this situation is one of them. If they were my family and I was going to saudi arabia, I would hope they would tell me to be careful and that there would be a barbque and the pictures when I returned. That is of course, from a family unit of a time when the family was the backbone of America and its unity was more powerful than the force. Don't take it personally as it is not your burden to bear and if you are presented with a question for answering simply say, yeah, and my life with him for this period is just gone too. Hopefully that will help shift the responsibility of blame where it belongs, whoever sent him to saudi. Hope this helps.
2007-04-14 16:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by g_menagerie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They will get over it. They should be grateful they have a family member with a strong work ethic and a job. There are many jobs that do not give a lot of wiggle room for making plans. If they're decent people, they will get over it with a little time. Send a nice present and a card, wish the newlyweds the best of luck
2007-04-22 14:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by drvndrm2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe an outsiders point of view would help them to realize how the son-brother feels. Let them know he has to do this it is not a vacation of sorts. It would be different if it were. Let them know your not being a busybody just trying to help your husband put things at a rest before he leaves. And show you understand their feelings but, you too want for hi to stay but you know it can not be helped and you want to see him off in good terms and with a light heart.
2007-04-22 09:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by a t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not to make any move to make your in-laws understand. If your husband cannot be understood by his own blood how much more can they comprehend with your explanation. The bestthing to do is attend the wedding in behalf of your husband and present a wedding gift that would represent your husband's presence in the heart of his sister.
2007-04-22 12:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by blue_baron7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings have turned into the biggest emotional brew ha ha these days. Obviously he has a prior commitment and they should be understanding of his duties. Perhaps have him make a CONGRATULATIONS VIDEO to be played for them at the reception. It would make for a nice surprise and might help to mend some of the hard feelings. I would hope that they would understand the pressure they are causing for him and your family. Best of Wishes with this one.
2007-04-21 09:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by iambettyboop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not want to be angry at my son knowing he was going into harms way. They need to understand he has a job to do. Tell you the truth I would say something to them you are a part of the family you are his wife stand up for your husband.
2007-04-21 06:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband offer to move you your family lock stock and barrel into the bride and grooms honeymoon suite and see what they say then. Have the new brother in law support you all. Explain you'd be happy to have someone support you all so you can spend more time with your husband after he looses his job to attend there wedding.
2007-04-14 16:39:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kathleen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that they refuse to look at things from his point of view shows that they don't care about him as much as they do themselves and what they want. If they have been told what the situation is then you should drop it at that because they are not going to listen to what you say and saying any more may actually cause you more problems in the future. My favorite saying is "avoid entangling alliances." If you know the truth and you are being honest about it then you should let them have their crap and you go on with your life and don't buy in to theirs. Don't pay a quarter to get on their merry-go-round. Good luck to you.
2007-04-14 16:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by georgetjb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋