She tested negative for the virus but their wedding is only days away. All the preparations have been made & invitations sent, etc. Her family has been looking forward to this for some time & everybody's very excited. He's told her that if she really loves him she'll stand by him & go through with the marriage. Am i wrong to tell her not to go through with it?
2007-04-14 14:41:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no, I dont think your wrong at all. first of all, your intitled to your opinion on the matter. also, him saying that if she loved him she would stand by him is a load of crap. if he loved her he wouldnt have put her at risk for getting HIV by not being honest with her. he kept something that serious from her. does she know how he got it? he could have cheated on her or something and got it that way or had it before they even got together. and if she does marry him, they will have to be very careful having sex and I know if it were me, the worry I could be getting HIV would turn me off sex with him all together. and sex is a very important part of a relationship. they also couldnt have children togehter unless she really wanted to risk it. and what about if he gets full blown AIDS? he'll be very sick and she'll have to go through that with him. I just watched a movie in a college class I take about a family who dealt with AIDS and it was such a heart breaking story to watch the husband die. hes putting this all on her and pulling a guilt trip. its not right, but whatever her decision, shes your friend and she needs you right now.
2007-04-15 04:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
OOoooohhhh, tough subject. I feel for your friend, she's in a very difficult spot to be in. On one hand, people with HIV are living longer and longer without even contracting the AIDS virus. On the other hand, they are going to have to constantly practice safe sex methods, and even then she'll have to be regularly tested. It will even affect future children, and the ability to have children. I honestly don't know if I could go through with the wedding, simply because it affects so much about life that I feel is so important. But in the end, she's the one who's going to have to make this decision. I wouldn't advise her one way or the other, she's going to have to do some pretty major soul searching and see what her heart and gut tell her to do. At this point, her last concern should be the wedding preparations. If she's not sure what to do, she needs time to digest this information, and get some facts on living with the disease from a doctor who specializes in treating HIV/AIDS. I certainly wouldn't want to be in her shoes, and I wish her all the best in the world.
2007-04-14 17:03:16 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hmm people get more worried about the wedding and being embarrased in front of family and friends than they are about the person they plan to live thier wife with,
I would suggest that she postpone the wedding until they work out thier issues. Based on what you wrote, I am not sure if he just found out or if she knew and he has been hiding from her. How she responds depends on this. Either way this is a big issue that she just learned about and she should slow down and deal with this. It will have a big impact on her life. If he can afford the drugs, people with HIV are living longer and longer but at the same time, the virus is developing resistances.,
If she asks your opinion, advise her to postpone the wedding. Otherwise tell her you are there for as a friend.
2007-04-14 14:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If it were my friend I would advise her to postpone it. She should do research on HIV and go visit couples where one person has it for advice so that she knows what she is getting into. Also, even sex with a condom is risky since condoms are porous and even if sperm cannot get through, the HIV virus can. It would be like throwing a dime through a hole about the size of a basketball hoop (learned this from a seminar about AIDS). So it is important for her to completely consider everything before she gets married, or else the marriage probably does not have a high chance of being successful.
2007-04-14 15:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by Aurelia KMNO4 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
First, I in simple terms desire to point out that him being bisexual has honestly no touching on however if he no longer he could have decreased in length and STD. HIV/AIDS is now no longer seen the gay ailment and all STDs have a no discrimination clause. 2nd, any guy who cares approximately you would be keen to circulate to a interior of reach planned Parenthood and any stroll in hospital and take and hour out of his day to get and STD attempt and clearly you're keen to do the comparable. once you think of you men are drawing close that element the place you desire to sleep with him, tell him you're able to sense greater mushy in case you the two have been given examined previously you have intercourse. Any first rate guy could comprehend.
2016-12-29 11:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by drown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one it's not up to you. Number two what would have happened if she would have married the guy and didn't find out until after the ceremony, the vows say for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and for richer or for poorer. Would she be having this discussion with you and ready to divorce him. Marriage isn't about the preperation, and all the lavish details. Don't get me wrong that is the fun part of it. However, it's about the love that the two people have for each other. It's been people that has the same disease that has lived normal and active lives for years. If he had the courage to tell her, I commend him. I think she needs to respect that, and they both need to get properly educated on protecting themselves, in the upcoming years.
2007-04-14 15:13:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
She needs to at least postpone for now. She needs to find out how he contracted it, and get all the information she can because this totally will affect the rest of her life. You can voice your opinion as a friend, of course.
It's really sad that he's using emotional blackmail on her! Maybe there are more skeletons in the closets....
2007-04-14 21:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
that wedding should be totally postponed. they might be in love but she should find out if he knew that he had it all along, cuz it will be betrayal. but she cud also have it cuz the virus takes at least six months to a year to show up in the body. so if they could postpone the wedding she could have enough time to deal with it, emotionally, and in the relationship.
2007-04-14 15:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by triniunispy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no you are not wrong for telling her not to go thru with the marriage,but no matter if you are right or wrong the final decision is hers and its a hell of a decision,if she stays she'll be risking infection all her life or just break it off while the gitten is good,you are a good friend,but that burden lays solely on top of her!
2007-04-14 14:52:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
During AIDS week, some HIV/AIDS patients came to my high school to talk to us about it. A guy in his late 20s I think told us he's getting married to his 7 years gf soon. They sound very in love. The woman knows he has AIDS but for the past 10 years, he's still healthy on the appearance. They practice safe sex and he was telling us that if you use the condom properly, it won't break. I think your friend is confused enough. If they really are in love, I think it's fine.
2007-04-14 14:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by carrina 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋