To Atheists, Just out of curiosity?

Question

how do you decipline the kids? like in my religion we tell little kids that God does not like this if they do bad things or in christianity they say that Santa won't come to give you a gift on christmass,
so what do you tell kids?
At what age do you tell the kid that in your point of view there is no god.
If a kid is going through hard time in school what do you say deal with it or what?
How do you make them a good grownup? with out any relgious morals?

**** I mean no offense I am just curious"

Answer 1

Great questions!

I'm an atheist mom. I discipline my kids by giving them logical consequences of their action. My daughter has a bad report card this week. This means, now we can't trust her as much. She has to show us reports every week to prove she's doing her work or she gets no tv perks. We don't spank. We will send to their room if they are disrespectful.

They were never taught that there WAS a god, so we didn't have to tell them that there wasn't one.

My son is currently having a hard time. I try to give him the skills to deal with the hard time. WOrk extra hard to get him to join groups that will help him. I bought a few books in how to help kids learn to stand up for themselves.

My kids have a lot of great morals, they just aren't religious ones. My eldest daughter is even a little prudish by my standards. :) My eldest two volunteer for the community. My middle one started a club at school in support of helping the "child soldiers" of Africa.

Your question wasn't the least bit offensive. Please feel free to email if you have more questions.

Answer 2

I do not have kids yet, I am only 21. But a discussion about this came up in one of my college classes last week. We were discussing moral development and how it correlates with religion. The discussion was about how that topic is involved with public schools. While the discussion was mainly held around Christianity, and the morals that are presented through the religion, I made a point that I am an Atheist, yet I still have morals. I know that it is not right to murder somebody, and even though it is stated in the 10 Commandments, I did not need religion to teach me that.

With that being said, I would just simply explain to my children that they did something wrong, and why it is wrong. Children always ask "why" so the best way for them to understand their misbehavior is to learn why they shouldn't do it, and then they will hopefully not repeat that action.

Morals are not simply religious. While religions may be based on morals (such as Christianity), people can live their lives with a set of morals completely unrelated to religion and still be good people.

When I have children in the future, I will not tell them there is no god, but I will not say that one exists. While my beliefs are that of Atheism, I will want my children to make their own choices and decisions in life, and if they want to believe in a god then I will not stop them. However, I will also teach them morals and values without relating it to religion, which as proven by my own life, is entirely possible.

Answer 3

how do you decipline the kids?

Well, bribery and threats from an imaginary sky faerie are out. Howe about things like actions and consequences? Like misbehaving results in the loss of privleges and a lecture?

At what age do you tell the kid that in your point of view there is no god.

When they were old enough to ask.

If a kid is going through hard time in school what do you say deal with it or what?

It depends on what the problem is.

How do you make them a good grownup? with out any relgious morals?

You don't need a religion to have morals. Get that through your head: Religion does not have a monolpoly on morality. In fact, there has been a great deal of immorality in the name of your favorite religion, so perhaps you shouldn't talk.

Answer 4

Well, it's easy to discipline a kid. Just tell them that what they are doing is not okay and they should not do it. If they say why, be honest. If it's dangerous, tell them it is. If it's not polite, just say so. Kids don't need to be lied to or told that someone isn't happy with them, just to get them to understand something.

Well, the child will never think there is a God if you never teach them there is one. Therefore, there is no need to tell them that, as their parent, you don't believe in God. Someday, when they've heard kids at school talking about "God" or whatever, yeah, they'll ask if he's real. If they ask, tell them the truth. But, to me, it's important to keep an open mind. If they want to believe that God is real, let them believe it.

When kids are going through hard times at school, they should be able to confide in their parents and trust that they will help them... not some invisible guy in the sky. I think it's completely idiotic to tell a child that if they pray hard enough, God will make the bullies stop. That does nothing. What will get the job done is speaking to a teacher or principal and possibly having the child removed from that class. Get it?

Here we go again. Morals are not religious. People can have morals without believing in God. I have morals, and I am agnostic. I didn't obtain them from a book or from God. I learned morals and proper etiquette from my parents. They taught me that one thing is okay and the other isn't. Speaking politely to adults - okay. Throwing tantrums - not okay. Saying please and thank you - perfect. Begging for items that I cannot have - terrible. I didn't need a religion or God to learn these things.

I hate it when people associate morals with religion. Completely idiotic, in my book anyway.

Answer 5

Well this is a very odd question, I am not christian nor catholic but in fact I am Buddhist just thought I'd answer this question with the knowledge I have of atheism. I do not see any reason to associate a child's behavior or morality with their religious beliefs. A child develops character based on positive role models in their life. Once born long before they can talk a child is picking up parts of their personality from the parent and people in its life. Personally as a Buddhist I know when my child reaches the age of reason I will explain religion as a whole to them and let them decide what they choose is right.

I understand some people feel a higher power and some don't, that doesn't mean christian children will grow up right in fact one of my deciding factors to not be a christian was the way people say one thing and act differently. So to answer a question with a question what would you tell your child when he hears that his local minister has abused one of his friends. It's best to keep an open mind and understand that morality is not a religious thing, you don't need a church to know or to learn to do the right thing. Frankly if someone has to say that they have to be good or they won't get toys to keep a kid in line I would question their parenting skills, but that's just me.

Answer 6

You don't have to threaten a child like that. At least I don't have too. I could do the Santa thing because we do that part of Christmas, but I just don't see how it is necessary.

My daughter is almost four. I tell her about anything that she asks about. If she is old enough to ask, she is old enough to know. You should have seen the look on her face a few weeks ago when I tried to explain what a church was for. I never taught her about god, so she is an atheist too. She just doesn't know it. When I explained it to her, she looked at me like I had three heads when I told her that some people thought there was a god. She actually laughed at you guys with no prompting at all. Daddy was proud.

Answer 7

I'm label less. but answering anyway.

If you want your kids to be "GOOD" don't lie to them and forcing stuff upon them. Let them discover their own truths. If you live a good example, they will pick that up from you. Every experience can be learned from. That is the most important part to get. Insanity is repetition of the same with expectation of different results. Teach them not to become addicted to their emotions. IE:Become anger junkies. Teach them they will have to deal with the consequences of their actions and to make wise choices.

I don't tell my kids there is a santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy, God or any other thing that I know doesn't exist. This is the worst thing you can do. Others may believe and I think that needs to be explained and the child taught that not everyone believes the same thing. Kids are like computers, easily programmed. Added......I let my kids experience things when they are ready, Not when I think they are ready. My son is advanced for his age(2.5yrs) Speaks two lanquages and some spanish, counts to 38, knows alphabet, cleans the house, helps with chores, dresses himself. knows right from left, and much more. Just talk to the child like they understand every word you say. And watch what you say cause they will tell you what that is. Let them watch Shows that educate instead of stupid cartoons that teach nothing but rudeness. Show them things and explain things even if you think they may not understand. Programming in humans is called repetition and reflection. Older kids need to repeat the information their being taught, otherwise it just goes in and goes right back out. This is my 9 year olds state right now. If I get her to repeat she learns faster. If she can't tell me what I told her, she didn't get it. Religion has nothing to do with raising good kids.

Answer 8

I would just explain them wrong from right. Funny thing with kids is, they are just like human beings. They actually know wrong from right, basically. But I just educate them, without fear.

No true goodness has ever come from fear. So, I fail to see the need of threatening them with 'no gifts' or a 'angry god'.

I won't tell them in detail about my vision of gods and religion, btw. I wanna educate my kids as free thinkers, who will decide for themselves whether or not they are gonna believe in a god or gods. Even as an atheist, I will read them the Bible, and the Quran. I will also tell them there is a possibility it's all not true.

Kids deserve the right to make up their own mind. There is really nothing scary about that.

Answer 9

Good question.
You can teach moral believes to your kids without the concept of a god. Why not?
My kids are happily in a none religious school. The concept of a selfish god that punish the people that don't follow standard religious ideas is not a good example for the kids.
...and yes, they believe in Santa.

Answer 10

tell them what is wrong and what is right such as if they see a chocolate bar in the store and want it but do not have the money with them at the time it would be wrong to steal it. ethics are what we use if something is wrong do not do it or go along with it.that goes for large things to this example is familiar i am sure that of the politician taking bribes taking bribes is wrong and brings harm to people as a result so if they do go into politics they know. guilt keeps them from doing something wrong like stealing if they do not pay for something and instead steal it they feel guilty feel they must reveal they stole it and find a way to pay the store back