I am so scared, what do I do in a situation like this?

Question

Ok this is going to be hard to get through but here's the story. My brother is 19 years old right and living out of my Family's house. Him and my Dad have NEVER gotten along, they very rarely talk to eachother without getting into arguements, and I can see why, my dad is hardheaded and always thinks he's right, and so is my Brother. So they do tend to go at it sometimes. My brother doesn't live at home now, but sometimes he moves in, and then moves out at times basicly off and on. For the past 2 months or so though, he hasn't been living at home. He's a crazy guy, been to jail a few times (for nothing absolutely major) gets into fights all the time, and threatens people... the thing is, you never know if his threats are true. Well tonight he calls up my parents and just starts yelling at them (we think he is drunk) so my parents are like **** this and hang up the phone... He calls back and they answer hoping to talk to him in a more calm tone (continued below)...

........ It doesn't go so well. My mom is talking to him and all I hear is "F*** you! Don't ever step foot near my house again or I will call the police!! etc. etc. etc." and then she hangs up the phone again on my brother. My dad ask her what happened, and my brother apparently said that he loves my mom but "that son of a ***** (my father) that you are married to, better watch his back because I will kill him the second I see his a**.." and just kept making threats. My dad who has about had it is like I don't care if I die if I see him on our property I'll kick his *** and I don't care if I die doing it... I'm so scared. I don't want anyone getting hurt, I feel I'm the only one with enough sense in this family to NOT argue and fight over everything. I'm scared my brother will get a gun or something and kill my dad or mom. I'm so scared and I know I won't be able to sleep for days because of this. What do I do!? I can't call the cops bcuz my parents don't want them involved.

So apparently I can add more details to this... thank God. I can't really talk to my parents about how I feel. I mean I can but it's hard. I have mad anxiety problems and am nervous talking to anyone including family. Normaly my brother cools off and calls back about an hour later saying sorry and my parents calm down to. That hasn't happened yet. I would call my brother but he's hard to talk to as well, because I have anxiety and when he's mad it's near impossible to talk to him. I seriously just want to run away, I'm not emo, but I have places I could go where my parents would never know about. It seems like my parents have forgotten about the whole ordeal, but I am still worried. My brother scares me and almost always has, I want to just escape this crap and start my life over, without him in it.

For those who have answered or are just starting to read this. Please if you want to help/talk to me about these things please please please contact me on aim (screename is halofreak4t5) but all means IM me, because It's always nice to have someone to talk to, especially someone who knows what they're talking about... and if you aren't going to be mature when you message me, then don't bother messaging me at all... but please contact me on there if you want to give me advice and things of that nature.

Answer 1

It must be really scarey for you. Your brother is heading down the wrong road in life and needs to be kicked to the curb until he learns better, if he ever does. Your parents have to handle it, there is nothing you can do except maybe try talking to your parents and tell them of your fears. Try to keep yourself busy doing other things if they are discussing him or talking to him on the phone. The more you listen, the harder it is on you. Mostly it is just words said in anger.

Answer 2

You need to call the police. That is the right thing to do, even if your parents don't want them involved, because this is a matter of domestic violence, and it certainly could go foul. You need to get your brother help, and the way to do that is to call the police. Maybe he will get arrested, or maybe you guys will be able to get a restraining order against him, but it is important that you notify the police of this matter.

I also reccommend talking to your school counselor or some similar professional about this matter. Domestic violence is no small matter, and can cause a lot of problems. It sounds as though it already has... if you can't sleep for days because you're so afraid (and I don't blame you, I'd be scared out of my mind too!), then you need to find some help. This situations needs to be resolved, and the sooner that happens the less likely it is to escalate further. It is not your fault that any of this has happened, so please do not feel as though it is. Again, you can help resolve this situation but it is not your fault. Good luck, I really hope things get better for you.

Answer 3

I have few suggestions for you.

Even among family members, do NOT take threats for life and serious injury lightly, especially from someone who is excitable and have a history of criminal activities.

What you need to do is, for you to sit down with both of your parents and talk about your feelings. How uncomfortable you are, and how unsafe you feel. Share the fact that you don't know if his threat is real or not.

All of you should have a plan that you agree with each other, what to do, if the situation gets out of hand. It needs to include a "code word" your brother does not know. It may be something like, if your parents says something like "Justin, go get a banana-split", for you to run out to your neighbors house and call police.

I hope it doesn't come to this, but it never hurts to have a plan. Whatever you do, do not confront your bother. Let your parents handle this.

-EDIT-
It is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL that you talk to your parents about your feelings. Not now, but when everybody is calm. I don't care how hard it is for you. It is not going to be easy anyway. Just do it. It doesn't have to come out in coherrent sentences, and if you have to cry, so be it. Every little bit you can share with your parents will help you feel at ease. It is a scary situation. You have to share it with someone who cares about you.

Answer 4

Chaces are your brother was drunk and just blowing off steam. It does sound like hes going roundwith a pretty big chip on his shoulder daring someone to knock it off, Unfortunately, there are guys out here who are a little bit bigger and faster who are willing to do just that. Somewhere your brother feels that he has to portray this macho man bit and itll get him into trouble everytime. Hes mad at your dad for some unforeseen reason and is just trying to show off to your dad how much hes grown (actually stupidity) by being Mr. Tough Guy. Your parents know how to handle him and maybe a good ole a.s whoopping from dad is exactly what he needs to straighten out before he gets into serious trouble he cant get out of. Your parents are voicing their anger over how he turned out and not because they hate him or anything. Hes setting the perfect example for you on what not to turn out to be like. Dont get involved as this is not your fight but be ready to notify the police if necessary. Good luck

Answer 5

wow that is quite a pickle !! umm if u r scared 4 u life then u think the best thing is for u to live w/ a relative or friend for a while. as for ur parents, they should get a restraining order. but in order to do that the court would have to be involved. dose court count ??

Answer 6

ask your parents if you can stay at a friend or relative's house until they settle this with your brother, and make sure your brother doesn't know where you are. you don't need to tell anyone why you are staying somewhere else. you parents are adults, and they raised your brother. their job is to protect you first, then themselves from your brother.

Answer 7

well u need to calm down if he is drunk he could also hurt u u need to involve the cops if your brother comes around

Answer 8

They are all mad at each other but they will calm down. Your mom may have to be the peacemaker. Don't worry.

Answer 9

your brother is an adult and he has no right to threaten anyone, here you are living in fear. tell him to take all that energy and go to iraq.

Answer 10

your brother may listen to you.