I'm pregnant and now I hate the cat. I'm driving my husband crazy with fears about the cat and the pregnancy.

Question

My husband has a really sweet kitty. He's clean, well-socialized, and generally very affectionate. But he's also chatty and needy and always annoyed me a little. Now that I've gotten pregnant it's been magnified: I'm scared of tripping over him with my big belly, scared of toxoplasmosis, scared of the cat being close to the infant, scratching the infant, smothering the infant, keeping us awake when we already can't get sleep because of the infant... You name it, I've worried about it. And I have cultivated a resentment for our otherwise sweet cat. My husband loves him and getting rid of him would put a deep rift in our very happy marriage. I fear that my dislike for the cat is already causing friction between us. But all the solutions that I have suggested - boarding the cat the first few weeks at home with the baby, getting a door to close off the back side of the house... they all get shot down.
I'm sure it's hormonal. But this fear (and the cat) are driving me crazy! Ideas?

Other details... The cat and I have never been close, even before the pregnancy. We've always had sorta a "live and let live" relationship. He just never bothered me so much before I got pregnant.

Answer 1

first of all,the only way a cat catches toxo is by eating infected rodents-if u have an indoor cat,unless u have mice,he is not likely infected.if u are worried,have ur husband change the catbox,also, there is a simple blood test for toxoplasmosis,ur vet can do it and treat the cat easily if necessary.the discomfort u feel about the "neediness" and noise of the cat-are u secretly worried about the neediness/crying a baby will put u thru?it is normal for new parents to feel ambivalent,ur life is about to change radically-it seems u may be displacing ur worries anto the cat.please dont use him as a scapegoat.a commitment to a pet is for life.what example does a parent set when he/she throws out a pet when a baby is due-that life and love are disposable?keep the cat out of the babys room when the baby comes home.dont worry about scratches-having lots of experience with both kids and cats,as soon as the baby toddles,the cat will run and hide.every cat ive had has been afraid of loud,running children.u seem to be anxious.its normal.see a counselor,a clergyperson or just talk to moms u know-ur parents,grandparents-ur husbands parents,friends with kids.u need moral support.its not the cat,per se.ur nervous about parenting,we all go thru it.seek support.it will be ok.as for a few scratches-it may happen when a boistrous toddler grabs at the cat-but the child will also run with scissors,touch a hot stove,and so on.no one gets out of childhood without a few scratches,bumps and very often,a broken bone or two(sports accidents happen-a lot!) u cant over=protect.its part of learning.the only way to prevent all ur childs pains is to isolate him/her in a bubble.u cant do it,and in ur heart,u wouldnt want to.kids are resilient.just step back.and watch them grow.its all we can do-it can be tough,but if we love them,we let them try their wings,despite an occasional mishap.

Answer 2

Stop worrying so much! I have a cat and two children and have never had a problem. For the most part, he ignores the kids. Cats won't smother the baby. That's an unfounded old wives tale. They would no more sit on the baby and smother it than they would sit on you and smother you. You are very unlikely to get toxoplasmosis. If the cat is strictly indoors, it can't even give it to you at all. They get it from being around wild rodents, like rats and mice. Even if the cat is an indoor/outdoor, you have to actually ingest or inhale the feces to get toxoplasmosis. During both of my pregnancies, my husband cleaned the litter, so it was never an issue. If you absolutely HAVE to change the litter, just wear a face mask and rubber gloves, then wash your hand immediately afterwards. My cat never scratched my daughter, and now he's declawed (unrelated to the kids, he was destroying the furniture). Keeping the cat away from the baby is a bad idea, because then he'd feel as if he was being replaced. It's like if you separated an older sibling from the baby for a few weeks, then expected it to accept the new addition. When you have the baby, you can have your husband take home a blanket the baby has slept in so the cat can smell it and get the idea that there's going to be someone new in the house. BTW...it is hormonal! :) You'll be okay, and so will your baby, husband, and cat.

Answer 3

You're right that part of your problem is hormonal, and it will subside once the baby is born - but another part of the problem is that you have resurrected all the old wive's tales about cats and children, and while there may once have been some truth to them, in today's world, they simply don't fit.
Let's start at the top.
Tripping over the cat. You only have to step on it once and it will avoid you like the plague. It isn't stupid. And you won't get so large that you won't be aware the cat is somewhere in your vicinity.
Toxopolasmosis - don't touch the cat, don't touch the cat's litterbox. This is the one valid item in your list of fears, so for the duration of your pregnancy, it's up to your husband to clean the litter box.
Keeping the cat away from the baby is simple. Don't let the cat in the baby's room. Cats can learn, and learn quickly if you are firm about this.
Smothering the infant - again, this goes back to the days when the whole family slept in a one room cottage and the cat looked for someplace warm to sleep. Do you have a utility room, laundry room or other enclosed space where the cat can sleep overnight? That's the easiest solution to this problem. But if you're going to do it, begin now, not after the baby arrives, or the cat will connect his banishment to the baby and be resentful. Do it now, and the cat will accept it much better.
Keeping you awake when you can't get to sleep because of the infant? Does the cat yowl all night long now? If he doesn't do it now, he won't start up suddenly.
Boarding the cat out for the first few weeks isn't a great option, because up until now, the cat has likely had the run of the house. If it's boarded out for a few weeks and comes back to find all its routines have been changed, you WILL have a resentful cat on your hands.
This is something your husband can help you with - once you get home with the baby, he can make a bit of a fuss over the cat, pet it, give it little treats etc. but not give it his exclusive attention. It will learn that there is a newcomer in the family and that the newcomer has to be respected.

Answer 4

Please don't get rid of your kitty- there are other options.

Have your husband scoop the litter box. That's the only way (as far as I know) you can get toxoplasmosis.

And cats generally stay clear of infants anyway. There isn't much risk of a cat killing a baby. Cats are gentle unless provoked, so just watch the baby when it's near the kitty.

Start preparing your cat for the baby too. Maybe have a friend come over with their baby, so the cat gets used to the sound. Buy a lot of your baby items in advance- cats can get anxious and nervous if you don't ease into things.

Pherhaps you could get a doll that resembles a baby- and teach the cat to stay clear of it or repect it. This might help make your cat not attack or smother the baby (not that cats do that a lot anyway).

I wouldn't worry too much about this. When I was born we had two kitties in our house, and nothing happened to me. So I think everything should work out fine!

http://www.petcaretips.net/toxoplasmosis_cat.html

Answer 5

The biggest danger as far as toxoplasmosis goes is if you come into contact with the kitty litter. The same goes for the baby - just so long as everyone washes their hands after handling the cat and the litter. When the baby's born, just make sure to keep the nursery door closed when you're not in there. And don't be afraid to discipline. You shouldn't have too many problems during the first few weeks/months, as babies really don't do much other than eat and sleep during that time.

Answer 6

After I had a baby I realized how needy both of our animals were too. I know you haven't had one yet, but it may be the hormones.

As long as your husband is willing to take charge of the animal care, you should be okay. I wouldn't worry about the cat and the baby. Cats are smart and usually not malicious.

Training/Retraining a cat is extremely difficult. I tried to once and I was unsuccessful because I wasn't willing to keep it up. The only thing that works is ignoring the behavior until it stops. So, if you need to have the cat sleep somewhere else at night to ease your conscious, I would start that now, so that when he's meowing it won't be once the baby comes. You will have time now to get earplugs and ignore it until the habit breaks.

Best of Luck.

Answer 7

When I was a kid, our neighbor's cat viciously attacked their new baby. I have never heard of another case of this, but it was quite a sensation on our block. The woman was very close with her cat. She had even had the cat before she had been married. When the baby was a few weeks old, the cat attacked the baby. Luckily the mother was there to fend off the cat (which was subsequently put down.)

On the other hand, I had a great cradle cat that was very independent and never lifted a claw against me even with all the abuse an infant can dish out to an animal.

If you have suspicions, is it worth the risk? Could you forgive yourself if you ignored your concerns and they came to pass?

Answer 8

You're a dog person. You may not realize it but you are. Step on the cat, he'll move in the future when you walk and he'll still love you.

My wife and I had 4 kids. We had cats 28 years ago and we still have them. Didn't smother the kids although they all needed to be at one time or another. No diseases from the cats or the tons of kitty litter that has cycled through the house.

Watch the kid, play with the cat. Kid will play with cat, tail is not a handle. Kid will learn.

A year from now you'll be laughing about this. Just enjoy yourself.

Answer 9

What you are going through sounds really sad...especially for your husband and his cat. I don' t know why you are so paranoid about the cat hurting you or your baby, but I would like to say that my husband and I have a 14 month old and two cats who were here way before she was. While pregnant, I couldn't change the litter box, but there was really no love lost between me and my pets. They have always been careful and even very skiddish around the baby. She lights up and giggles when she sees them and they run! It seems like your cat phobia is more of a mind thing with you than a safety issue. Just have some patience with the kitty OK!

Answer 10

Deep breath woman! I think you're focusing your pregnancy anxiety on the poor cat. If you're really that disturbed by it then get rid of it. But take step back and make sure you're not using the poor beast as a focal point.

Cat's don't smother babies and you won't have to worry about any scratching until the baby is old enough to actually irritate the cat.

Toxoplasmosis is a real issue though. But you don't have to worry about it as long as you let hubby clean the catbox.

Be well sweetie and just chill about the cat. Pregnant ladies have enough things t o be genuinely concerned about.

Answer 11

You are right to be afraid. If I remember its the litter box and the things they can carry with them from the litter box (germs) that are dangerous to a pregnant woman. NO LITTER BOX at all. So if its dangerous to you, I always figured for at least the 1st year, no kitty. Get some literature from your pediatician or online. Then hubby has two choices....the cat stays with a dear friend (or maybe HIS mom) until the baby is 2 and can walk away from the dear kitty on her/his own. Or kitty finds a new home and daddy and the baby can pick out a new kitty together. For me, it just wouldnt be negotiable (we got rid of ours --also his). Men think logically and analytically....get him the facts. If he sees you freaking out he will assume you are over reacting. Approach it by asking him what he thinks you should do first....he may come up with a great solution on his own...if not...back to plan A, above. Good Luck and Congrats!!!