can i check tosee if the irs has received my tax forms in the mail?

Answer 1

Not really, but after a couple weeks it should show up at irs.gov "where's my refund". Calling them right now wouldn't be real useful - if they've just received it recently, it's probably in a pile with hundreds of thousands of other returns.

Answer 2

I owed the IRS this year and sent a check with my mailed return. The check cleared my bank. Does that count as proof the return was received? I'm guessing the IRS would say it only proves the check was received.

My guess is the 'Where's My Refund' link is your best bet, but if your return is in a stack waiting to be entered into the computer, it won't show up there. If your return was sent by the US post office, the deadline is based on when the post office receives the return, not when the IRS receives it.