If feel that my mom dosen't want me to socialize with other people and go hang out at the mall with my friends thats why im so shy because she dosen't let me socialize or experience things in life that your suppose to know. She always complain about how im lazy she dosen't really understand what it's like for a teenager it's very tiring and you just want to have time alone to be by yourself and have me time. I feel that 11 year old sister gets privillages and i don't at all when she asks to do something she gets to do it. But when i ask for something it's a problem it's always i don't have money or im not taking you anywhere. I want to know why this is happening? And what can i do to stop it?
2007-04-13 21:09:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mum is probably more worried about you than your sis. You should be obedient all the time and show her that you are capable of handling yourself.
In other words, Suck up!
2007-04-13 21:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If everything you said is exactly how it is, then maybe, and I do mean MAYBE your mother is having a hard time letting go...
If she lets ur younger sister do everything and never lets you she may be worried about you.
As mothers we are constantly worrying about our kids. the fact that the kids may make the same mistakes we made is a nightmare! You may be a lot like she was when she was young... Or she may need you to do things around the house perhaps and earn some pocket money or privliges? There is a line though... kids should be kids and even if they are lazy, they still need to be allowed to socilaise occassionlly so they can learn how to be a mature person. its like saying if you dont get better at spelling I wont let you take english classes.
You need certain amount of basic knowledge in everything.
I bet your sisters activities are also a lot different to what you want to do?
Best thing would be comprimise, talk to your mum, tell her you just want t have some "me time" or mall time with ur mates. Tell her you will set up a roster with her perhaps and if, for example, you make ur bed every morning and do the dishes every night you might get $5 a week or a day out with freinds.
Assure her that your responsible, tell her you wouldnt take drugs or drink alcohol or kiss boys! - there are so many things a parent thinks about when they say no. She is not trying to be mean, she has her reasons and if you can find them out and let her know your mature and responsible enough to handle these things she should let you.
if you do what your told and help her and show her you can act grown up and help the household by doing little things to show her ur not lazy!
Sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel and why you feel that way.
Im sure it can be sorted out
good luck :)
2007-04-13 22:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound really young and immature for the present time. I am a mom and it sounds like u aren't mature enough to be responsible for yourself yet. It does not matter how old u are you are still acting like a baby. Take on more responsibilities at home and listen to your parents when they try to explain why they think you are lazy. Being lazy is not the only reason you can not do what you want to do with your friends, I am sure of it. Your mom understands better than you give her credit for. I am guessing you are about 12 or 13 and that is not old enough to do some of the things your friends are doing, your mother obviously loves you more than that. She cares what you become in life. She has an interest in who you are and where your going in life, not if you get to go to the mall. Remember you are the child and she is the boss and you can either try talking to her calmly or accept the facts and get over it and know you have the love of a mother that respects your future, not your teenage attitude. Love her back as free as she loves you.
2007-04-13 21:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur mom thinks u're lazy, do something to prove that u're not. when u ask to do something, do u follow her rules like come home on time or do u stay out longer? does ur mom think u sleep all day or do nothing but sit around the house? or do u help around the house by doing chores such as doing the dinner dishes, pick up the living room and whatnot? if u already do help around the house, ask her if there's more that u can do like mow the lawn or something like that and ask to be paid extra for those things. get a part time job if u can so that u don't have to ask her for money. have u talked to her and told her how u feel? u can still do those things and have time to urself afterwards.
parents have a hard time relating to their kids sometimes cause it's usually been such a long time since they were teenagers. u really have to be obvious about how mature u really are if u want them to give u more priveleges.
2007-04-13 21:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you showed her that you are responsible and you are quite capable of doing things other than lazing around, then she might losen up. Try helping around the house more, or doing homework in a place that is visible. Get a part time job if you don't have one so that not only will you show her how wonderfully responsible you are, but you will be saving money so she couldn't use the "I don't have enough money" excuse on you anymore.
If she needs proof you're doing something, shove it in her face. Make it really obvious. Then she'll have no excuse for calling you lazy.
Sometimes parents can't see what's right in front of them. So, this may be something that won't be fixed for a very, very long time.
2007-04-13 21:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by shikkaba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try to show your mom that you are not lazy and actually very mature by helping out around the house a little without being asked. Your mom could be going through some tough times right now and she might not have spare money to give you. You should try sitting down with her one day and talk to her about how you feel, in a peaceful manner. My parents were very precocious about me going out at night and hanging out with my friends, but over time they gave me more privileges. Now that I got a job they are really flexible with the things that I do. I hope everything works out with you.
2007-04-13 21:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by kingcaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mother DOES NOT have anything to do with you Maturing. That is up TO YOU alone. You need to stop whining and grow up. Are you what she says you are?? Look at her point of view and see yourself for once and put yourself in her place, after all she pays the bills and puts a roof over your head and feeds you. If you want to stop it as you say, GET A JOB, I am sure Mom will not object. Get a job at the Mall since that is where you want to be.
2007-04-13 22:49:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maturity doesn't come from other people. It comes from you. You could start getting to do stuff by helping out around the house without being asked first. If you see the trash needs taken out, just do it. If you see dirty dishes, floor that needs cleaned, etc. Your mom is probably stressed with having to do everything around the house. If you want to be more mature, start helping.
2007-04-13 21:21:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that it is hard for you since when your a teen you try to avoid direct conversations with your parents. Maybe you should also listen to what your mom is trying to tell you instead of blowing her off. You guys just need to communicate better. Maybe you guys can come up with a compromise.
2007-04-13 21:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by CHEEKS69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can make sure that you show her some respect.(example, don't talk back, even if she is wrong, and is being really ridiculous) take the initiative to do things without her having to ask you to do it; that will show some responsibility. if that doesn't work, then pray!!!
2007-04-13 21:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by sistah_grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋