We're going to have the big froofy traditional wedding. It makes them very happy, I'm not paying and it is really only one day, so before the advice to do what I want, I want to put the needs of others above my own wishes.
Well, the problem is, I suppose, I may be a bit of an introvert and despise the idea of all this attention seeking bridal behavour. It's not because I'm shy or anxious around my family or his or with large groups of people. I'm just not interested. At family gatherings and weddings I usually sit quietly and throw in a quick witted remark here and there, but am almost always quite bored by these events.
I know I cannot just sit at my table, looking bored and ignoring the guests.. I do need to know, what is expected of me? How much socialising must I do? Can I get away with a few words to the most boring of relatives or must I endure conversation? I need to look as if I'm enjoying myself and avoid percieved rudeness. This is for familial happiness, not my own.
2007-04-13 20:44:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Being myself would involve making a mockery of the event and turning into this supposedly beautiful and meaningful event to a sort of parody and most certainly sticking my tongue out in pictures. This would offend too many people!
2007-04-13 20:58:36 · update #1
Start drinking as soon as the ceremony is over.
2007-04-13 22:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by knuckleheadmcspazmatron 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Usually in a "traditional wedding" the bride and groom are being escorted from here to there to do all the things you need to do, cut the cake, etc. One sure fire way to not have to do too much socializing at the reception...don't allow pictures of the wedding party before the wedding ceremony...then you'll spend half the reception taking pictures. As far as talking with all the guests..you can't force a conversation with people who don't interest you. Saying hello to everyone is really just about all you'll have time to do if there are a lot of people. Just be a little nicer than normal...lol.
2007-04-14 01:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by ☼♫Hmm..Interesting♪☼ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be several guests in the receiving line use the move the guest along hand shake and pass off... Shake hands while slowly moving the guest along the line indroduce to the next person and pass them on.. Should take under 1 minute for even the most talkitive guests...
Once you are circulating hug and kiss where appropriate (usually the aunts who wear red red lipstick) but keep moving.. Greet guests kindly and warmly but if someone talks excessively have a signal set up with your husband... you can signal him or he can signal you and the other gets you circulating away... (also great for the talkative aunt with the red lips)... A good line for this extricstion is "Oh hunny, I think (name a guest a bit away... not one at the next table) needs to be going soon we should talk to them a few before they go" Then thank the red lipped aunt for "Sharing our special day with us." and the extrication is complete..
My husband and I also used the self extrication "Oh I see my husband/wife calling me over, (be sure to look thier way and wave a very small wave only a single back and forth... the guest won't have time to look over and be sure they didnt call you ) It was so nice of you to come (insert guests name if you know it).. Thank You for sharing special our day with us." then hurry to the others side... ( a second signal here is good so they know what you did ... a hand squeeze works well it says "Just did a self extract cover it for me hunny." the other then gives a kiss on the hand or cheek and the play is complete...
As long as you don't use either play too often they both work wonderfully and give no rude impression but only true love and eyes for each other... Most of the red lipped aunts think it's "darling" and "romantic" and "sweet" that you always want to be at each others side...
These techniques got me through a reception of over 500 people including several great aunts who could drive Mother Theresa to drink...
2007-04-13 22:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly where your coming from..
It is expected that you attempt to greet as many folks there as possible... and long conversations are NOT needed.. just a Hello Aunt biddy.. I'm so happy you could make it... should suffice... I know.. I had all my parent's friends there.. and honestly a few people that I DIDN"T want there...
Always have an out.. have your maid of honor act as a ummm pull out.. she see's your with someone she knows' you really don't want to be with... if she is across the room she can wave you over.. make as pleasant an excuse as you can.. Ohh I'm so sorry.. but looks like I am needed across the room...
I know it will be a some what rough time for you... Like you.. I don't do the big socializing thing either..
Make sure you have music you and the groom like.. this will help you a GREAT deal.. and if alcohol is available.. don't drink alot.. but enough to be relaxed...
Attempt to have a good time.. make sure tons of photo's are taken.. and enjoy a happy new life with your groom.
2007-04-13 20:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by gin_in_mi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Arrange at least a half hour between the ceremony and reception to spend alone with your husband. My friend did this and said it gave them time to absorb the ceremony and enjoy some quiet time. They sat in the limo for that time. Also arrange to have a couple scheduled times to retreat to a dressing room. Put some things that comort you in there, some non wedding food, foot massager, and take a 10 minute break. Take one friend or family member with you if you want. Also I loved changing into a going away outfit because I had a chance to relax before the big bubble exit and hugging everyone goodbye!
2007-04-14 02:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by escapeinthepalms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You remind me of myself. I find such events boring also. But it's your day isn't it whether you paid for it or not. But since you've already made up your mind...
- Smile, a lot. Lots of photos will be taken and you don't want to be frowning or sticking your tongue out in any of them.
- Yes, make small talk, they'll ask about what your plans are after your wedding if they haven't already. If kids are going to be involved etc.
- Try not to be annoyed by those annoying relatives, whether they're inlaws or your not so close family members.
- Try and look sincerely happy.. even if you're not. You can fake a smile but your eyes can say different.
I would suggest being yourself but that probably won't get the end result you want. Good Luck.
2007-04-13 20:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by kickstatus101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think etiquette calls for you to chat -at least a little- with every guest. If you have a receiving line, this will cover it. If not, the bridal party gets their dinner first so that you can finish first, and then go to each table and talk to people while they are still finishing their dinners. Its perfectly acceptable to have a few "lines" on hand to say - everyone's going to be saying the same things to you anyway. Everyone will say how lovely the ceremony was and the decorations are and how beautiful and in love you look. All you have to say is something to the effect of 'thanks so much for coming, we're so happy you could share our day with us.' Obligation complete.
2007-04-14 02:35:11 · answer #7 · answered by Vita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a quick drink before entering the reception. This is going to be hell. You will be expected to spend a minute or so with practically every person in the room, in addition to dancing your little feet off and otherwise partying.
I am in a similar situation and I'm practicing small talk and trying to remember names and relations and all that. But in the end don't worry too much, if you didn't talk to someone they'll assume you were overwhelmed with how busy your day is going to be. Just make an effort to be as sociable as you can and all they'll remember is "oh how pretty she is and she was so wonderful despite how much pressure she was under."
2007-04-14 11:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Chester M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will be much easier for you if there is dancing at your reception because then a lot of the attention will be off of you and on the crazies on the dance floor. just make sure to smile a lot, and you'll be fine.
I had some of the same problems you do, and would have rather gotten married in khakis in the courthouse if given a choice.
2007-04-13 20:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care about your familys happiness?
Do you think they'll be happy if you're not?
Just don't go, or do what it is you want.
I'm not having a "party" for my wedding. I'm signing the papers at city hall and that's it (im 28). I can't stand being hypocritical and don't care what my family thinks.
I have better things to do anyway. I've mentally pictured myself on my deathbed and I know how I'm gonna spend my time down here.
2007-04-14 03:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, have a drink!! Not a lot just enough to get your to relax. If your fiance or your mother is more social- tell them, hey look- I need your help- please lead and I'll follow. Also if your really need some serious help- get a book or book on tape of the art of conversation. It might help build your confidence!
2007-04-14 01:25:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋