I have started to make edding plans but I'm not even engaged he hasn't ever bought me jewelry but we're serious does this seem too desperate
2007-04-13 20:11:19 · 10 answers · asked by janie p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
keep finances and such matters separate until after married. not that I am discouraging you. but a friend of mine is having a bad break up... his cell is in her name.... they have joint credit card accounts... it's a mess... he can't get away from her fast enough.
just be patient :o)
2007-04-13 20:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by love for art 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok I am sitting in the room with 4 of my guy friends (who are all playing some shooting video game) and they were all easily in agreement on this.
You aren't engaged. You may wish to marry this man but if you have not discussed married and he has not actually asked you, then yes planning at this stage is premature. Actually many guys would run from a girl who started pressuring them into marriage before they had said they wanted to marry her.
Yes you said you are serious but are you sure serious means the same thing to him that it does to you?
Plus it is merely just a fantasy game like lil girls playing dress up. You aren't engaged so you can't set a date. So you can't actually do any real planning. You can't talk to photographers, caterers, officients, reception halls--b/c you would have nothing to ask them. You have no date to see if they have available. So what planning are you doing? Looking through magazines and trying on dresses?
Yeah that does seem a lil desperate. That makes a man feel like he is trapped and that your interests are in the wedding not the man or the marriage. Are they?
There are lots of books on Questions you should ask before you get married. Some of them I read before my own marriage and were fabulous. It gives you lots of questions about children, dicipline, religion, taxes, spending habits, where you want to live, who would quit their job/what would happen if one of you were relocated...questions that most people have never answered. The divorce rate is much higher in those who are under 24. If you are between18-24, you have nearly 25% higher divorce rate than 25+, so it's worth it to take the time to look into those books.
Lay off on the planning a lil. It is his wedding too and you need to be able to discuss it with him. But most importantly, he has to ask you first.
2007-04-14 04:17:17 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would wait until you know for sure you're getting married before you make plans. I say this because your definition of serious might not mesh with his, and it's easy to get disappointed when you think a relationship is moving in a direction that your partner never saw coming.
also, how long have you been together, and have you discussed marriage at all? just some things to think about. not trying to rain on your parade though.
2007-04-14 03:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by georgiegirl422 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you two have talked about getting married and a timeframe for that, then not really. If you're just serious- yes. Not all serious relationships end in marriage. It also depends on what you mean by planning. If you mean coming up with ideas, no. If you mean booking a reception hall, yes.
2007-04-14 11:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my bf has bought me like 2000 dollars worth of jewlry none of which is for engagement purposes but we are planning to get married...and everyone kinda knows it..he hasnt asked so i wont technically plan anything but i look at dresses for ideas and stuff..but weve got a few years financially speaking before we are ready...but i dont see a problem with talking about how you want things to go and what you want to do as a honeymoon etc. but going out and buying a dress...not a good idea...we discuss our finances and stuff but its all separate...hes saving to buy land at the end of the year..then we'll start saving to build a house and im paying for college so we do talk frequently about that stuff but my stuff is mine and his is his!
2007-04-17 17:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by Krys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not engaged yet, but I'm planning already too. Its known that we're getting married so I guess its ok. I'm just trying to plan everything now so I won't have to worry about it later. I'm just excited. It's the girliest thing I've ever done. Its pretty much official, just no ring yet.
2007-04-14 03:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mekana 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to be engaged... you don't need a ring but you both need to agree that your going in this direction and you want to be married. If your making plans without him knowing... waiting for a ring... this could be a problem.
2007-04-14 08:34:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, more like foolish. You need a ring and a date for an official engagement, then move on with plans together.
2007-04-14 04:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
ok so we have set a date and r making arrangements but he just needs to save money to get a ring. i just dont want to tell anyone unless i have a ring.
2007-04-15 06:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anne W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who says you need jewelery to be engaged? Announce that you plan on getting married and start planning your wedding.
2007-04-14 03:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋