Do you think a person's religion should be influential choosing your spouse?

Question

My husband does not profess to believe in any God. I knew this when we met and it has not altered any in the almost five years we have been married.
Although I feel sad to think he has nothing to believe in, I do not pressure him into believing anything. We have four girls, and though I do not teach them by bringing them to church, they learn through life and family, friends etc. He is fine with my teaching them about Christianity and does not take it away one bit.
Would you have a problem with a spouse who did not share your beliefs? Would you even give the relationship half of a chance?
I would like to know, honestly what your opinions are.

In our total of six years together, we have never had an arguement about religion. I do not try to "mold" him, nor him me.
There are a lot of great answers out there.

I just want to add one more thing. Some are saying I am not actually Christian, because I married someone out of my religion and don't take my kids to a local church. I would have to drive 45 minutes one way just to get to church and is why I don't go with the kids. It is completely within rights to worship at home away from church. I will thank you to keep your opinions about me specifically to yourselves as I asked a question about you and your beliefs. Thank you everyone who actually read and answered my question.
Thumbs up to all of you.

Answer 1

I do not think I could be married to a woman that believed in the christian style of god I just don't

I don't think I could stand by idle and allow my children to be taught the bible without giving my own thoughts on the book


I am glad that your husband has no objections and all is well for you .

As for myself though - I can't see it .

I married a witch - I don't really believe 100% in her religion either but it is less objectionable to me than the biblical god.


So I suppose I am iin the same situation as your husband but with a twist.

The kids are raised in the Wiccan church I am ok with it but I'd prefer they went to an after school sports program instead

Answer 2

I don't think the sensible response is "Okay, prove it," at all. People can love you and you do not have to love them back. Love is something you give and certainly not anything you can take from anyone. You may feel loved by another but that is yourself feeling loved. It actually has little to do with the other person. Love is the gift that can not actually be received. Certainly no one can earn your love if you do not love them. Enter the Atheist and Pascal's wager. If you just believe in God you can go to heaven. Why not believe? Because we think the idea of God is stupid. God is a petty tyrant and we certainly do not love him. Believing so we can get to heaven is hypocritical and any omnipotent omnipresent being could see right through that. Love is only given. It is never earned. You can love people who are wrong for you. People who neither deserve your love or respect it. Some women love their husbands who beat them. Children love their parents who abuse them. Certainly these people do not deserve, not have they earned the love of those who love them. I think we choose our religions exactly like we choose our spouses. Most people marry someone from within 10 miles of their own home. Most people choose a religion within the same radius. Most people attend churches that are filled with people who think and behave the same way they do. Most people choose spouses with the same criteria. People go to Churches that are frequented by people with the same economic status. The same is true of marriage and love relations. How is it that choosing a religion is different from choosing a spouse? I will assert that the two are far more similar than different.

Answer 3

I think a person should choose a spouse who has the same beliefs. Why? Because their life will be much easier. They won't be arguing on the subject religion. They will do many things together like going to the church/meetings. In other words someone who wants a happy marriage is advised to marry with someone of his/her religion.

Answer 4

My husband believes in God but doesn't profess any religious affiliation. He is flexible and easy to work with as far as my faith goes. Somethings are easy. Somethings are not. His version of God is a benevolent god. A god who is okay with anything as long as you are a good person at heart.

He is actually in my opinion a hedonist. Some of things he practices are extremely questionable. I am not just talking moral religious values. He will lie at the drop of a hat. One of our open and non violent disagreements is based on this. He expects me to lie for him and I don't like to lie or tell untruths. He thinks because I am his wife that I should do this. I always have to explain to him that if it violates God's law and my conscience that I won't do it.

Whenever you have to make a stand for your convictions, more than likely you will run into conflict. If I had to do it over again, I would either not marry ever again or marry someone of my faith. There is less conflict when you understand each others moral compass.

Definitely, one's religion should be a guiding factor in selecting a mate. A weird analogy but something you may relate to. If I spoke French and I ate French food, it would be easier to be married to a French man since we had so much in common. We would speak the same language, understand our cultural background, eat the same food and so forth. Not the greatest analogy but the only one I could come up with. It is always easier to be with someone who understands you.

Answer 5

What you and your spouse believe definitely matters alot. I don't know what your situation was when you two married, and perhaps at this point, it's irrelevant. But your children are growing up, and they see everything. Eventually they're going to want to know how they can call themselves believers and still not go to church. A good church can be very benefitial for not only them, but for yourself as well, as you can have fellow believers helping you pray for the salvation of your spouse. It's true you can't force your beliefs on anyone, but when the entire family serves God, it's even more of a blessing.

Answer 6

I think it is better to love and worship God together as a couple. I honestly think without knowing God you cant express the love of God through you. Im thinking youre not really a Christian. Just going through motions. Love in the bible 1 cor 13 is a lot different than the worlds love. And what foundation are you building your life on? (Matt 7:24) If you were not a Christian while you married that makes more sense. But how can you want to marry a man who doesnt love God or can love you as the bible talks about? Eph 5, 2 cor 6:14... If you really are Christian pray for him that he get saved. Hes not going to heaven with you. He will be in hell. Because anyone who denies Jesus cant be saved. Do you realize that? You dont go to heaven for being good ...only by Jesus. (John 3:16,36)

Answer 7

Well; I feel that the more "common" ground there is in a marriage - the better. But; since you are already married, I think you are doing the proper Christian thing by keeping the peace and harmony in your relationship by not "preaching" nor shoving your religious beliefs down your husband's throat.
Remember; Christians are called to peace. As long as, your mate isn't physically nor emotionally abusive, be pleased "to dwell with him" - as the Apostle Paul proclaimed to the church at Corinth. Leave the converting to God when dealing with the "uncalled" and be a "good" wife and mother to his children. I like what Sir Winston Churchill once said. "The hand that rocks the cradle - rules the nation" !

Answer 8

I don't Have a spouse, but truthfully it may be that your daughters growing up in a mixed household gives them an opportunity to chose there own religion. this is important because, coming from a christian home, i can say that my decision was made for me, until i made the decision myself. I like many other people from Christian families had a religion placed on us without our consent. God wants us to have free will and part of the free will is the decision to chose him. as for your husband, he may be changing ever so subtly, so that in the long run he may understand your position and accept it as his own.

Answer 9

i don't see why not. there are many mixed couples now. it IS harder with more stress points, the divorce rates are higher (or so i read in 1 source), but not by a huge amount, most make it through 10+ years of marriage. I'm talking about different races, but I think mixed religion should not be too dissimilar.

Answer 10

It is not good to be unequally put together. I would not get a divorce for this reason though. You can pray for him and God will work on him.

I remember hearing a pastor says he would not married a couple of two different faiths. It would cause disharmony in the marriage and when the children are born they each would want to instill their beliefs in their kids. This would cause resentment to the parents and confusion to the child.