We already have 3 daughter aged 16,12,8.When i said no she got really depressed.Its hard to take care of 4 physically mentally financially.What do i do?
2007-04-13 17:29:03 · 23 answers · asked by kool301 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
stand your ground, you are right in what you believe!!!!!
2007-04-13 17:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by sirblackie88 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sit down with your wife and ask her why she wants more children. She most likely already knows that, logically, you may be right. There may be a whole set of reasons that have nothing to do with her wanting another child; rather, she may be looking to fill an emotional void in her life. She may just need to talk them out.
But by not asking her the rationale behind her wanting more children, she doesn't get a chance to expore these feelings with you; thus, furthering any depression or resentments she has. Also, she may also be feeling a sense of unfairness because it seems like a unilateral decision was made without consideration for her or her feelings. Please sit down with her (take her out to dinner or a long walk -- whatever it takes to get some privacy) and TALK to her. Most importantly, LISTEN. Ask that she do the same for you. Hopefully, when all of this is out in the open, you will be in the same page. I hope this helps.
2007-04-13 17:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by ladylee1230 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your wife to take some more time to think about a new baby.
Explain to her the amount of money it takes to run your household currently with the 3 children you already have.
Secondly, let her know that the three children you have currently may think that this arrangement will make them full-time baby sitters. They need time to grow as children themselves.
Then if she definitely won't give up on the kid issue. Ask her to consider being a foster parent. There are so many kids out there looking for great parents like yourselves.
2007-04-13 17:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her sometime to think about it. I am sure you already point out the facts of the financially aspect of it? Don't take as an insult, but a honor. She appreciates of seeing part of you in her kids and perhaps she desperately wants to have boy in the family.
If she still remains depress after a week, you may want to reconsider her proposal, but let her know if any financial difficult should arises from having four children. She is held mostly responsible of it! Don't let this situation ruin or even cause affliction among you two.
God Bless
2007-04-13 17:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must want more because they are cute and fun to have around. I know, you don't want more, but have you tried to see why she wants more? Maybe you should consider it. Lay out your free time and money put aside for the baby. And plus, if your wife works, no money during maternity leave. This is a decision you and her will need to make together. And if you are older than 40, you may just be ready to stop. I mean when your baby's 20, you will be 60! Good Luck and I hope you make the best choice.
2007-04-13 17:39:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for one thing, don't have another child you don't want one. I'm not sure why she wants a fourth, because you are obviously blessed with three kids already. It could be that she misses having a baby to hold. Ask her why she wants another child. If she is longing to hold and nurture another baby, lovingly and kindly remind her that every baby grows up, and one day she will have grandchildren to hold and love. Also be honest with her about how you feel about the financial and mental/physical burden of having another child. I think you and your wife will be able to understand each other and reach an agreement on whether to have a child or not.
2007-04-13 17:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman who feels her pain! I want a 3rd child but hubby says no. I guess I have that feeling of wanting to be needed by some one when my children got older (ages 3 and 4 ) I felt less needed. Plus most of us love babies. family is a great thing. Do this tell her that you need her more, try getting a puppy, ask her will she be willing to work if you both was to have a baby.
2007-04-13 17:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by mother of two 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should have been discussed after third one whether she was planned or not. Sounds like your wife has a problem and needs children to fill whatever void exists. There are women who would rather spend time looking after little ones rather than themselves.
Can you ask why she wants a fourth? Can you assist in determining whether or not this is to avoid being alone or having to deal with herself instead of kids?
Lots of open issues here Dad - good luck.
2007-04-13 17:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern.May be a new baby is meant to fill some holes in her life. may be she wants something she lacks something or is for-seeing that the other kids will leave the nest soon. You should investigate a little more about your wife needs, before you say No. she is asking for something may be is not a kid. Go beyond the surface.Regards.
2007-04-13 17:36:19 · answer #9 · answered by gracebinder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need another one. Now is the time for both of you to concentrate on each other. I was thrilled when the last of our children left home. It is ME time. Try to convince her how much fun the two of you will have when the children are gone. If that doesn't work, then go get yourself fixed and don't tell her.
2007-04-13 17:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by indian3445 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to start earning and pick up a good job before she wants to have one..this will really help..if she is not working already..if she is..tell her to swtich over to a better job! This will take her mind off from babies atleast for some time and get in tch with reality
2007-04-13 17:42:55 · answer #11 · answered by Aquagal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋