Did they not care because im fat and ugly? I should have died?

Question

Last year i was TORMENTED by my classmates, everyday. I've been called EVERY INSULT in the world! So i tried to hang myself at school, someone told, and i got suspended for a day. Nothing else happened, my parents offered to get me medication..but I never got that or the help that i desperately & OBVIOUSLY needed. Is it because I am not good enough? Why didn't I get the help that I needed? Why didn't anyone help me? Everyone knew what I was going through, and how close I was to suicide. No one helped me, I still don't get it. Why didnt my parents step in and help me? They tell me everyday that they love me, and we have a lot of money, so it isnt like paying for help would have been an issue. Sorry for whining, I just need some words of wisdom. Since Im never going to be good enough, should I have gone through with it? Im a waste of space.

Answer 1

Oh you are good enough. More than that. Why else would you be put through this? Those who are the ignored or insulted, are good enough that God would allow you to feel as Christ felt. those called to carry a cross are called to greatness.

Be a nothing if that is what you are called to "feel". but be assured you are precious and loved. If we could pull open the veil of this world and see things for as they really are, we would be astounded. You have no right to take your life, you were called forth and you are a creation of God, nobody can hope to be you or be like you. You can feel like the lowest piece of dirt alive, and be insulted, spat at, you name it. But rest assured, you are most definitely somebody and you must endure.

You're not alone, I have been through it also. Was called every name under the sun at school. I used to cringe and brace myself for it. I even had to find ways of hiding so I could eat my lunch without being called names. It was that bad. Pitiful actually. I felt and was "nothing". The words "ugly" "dog", "ugly pig" piece of ****, the whole deal was thrown at me. I don't know actually if I got through a day without one comment at least. If I did, it was amazing. I contemplated suicide many times (have done most of my life).

I'd say I was a test to others to see can they look past someone's unattractive appearance? Can they be kind enough not to say something unkind? Can they like the person within? Many failed that test. I had some friends that looked beyond it. Later, I improved in looks, got healthier and of course had the opposite. Compliments the lot. I could hardly believe it. It was nice while it lasted, but again things went wrong and my looks were ruined by illness.

I come to the conclusion that it's passing and fickle. Looks are just that "looks". It is just an appearance and anything can destroy it or improve it. What endures is the person within and they are put to the test of insults or compliments. Vanity or humility, or even self hatred. This does not count other things that hit us in life. Whatever weakness we may have, we maybe tested on that deliberately, to strengthen us, or buffer away our vanities in order to make us better people.

Some cop it their whole lives, some later in life. Though I am sickened to read what you are going through, I can only ask you to hang on and remember this life is passing. It stinks to go through this kind of stuff, but what else is there? A rope? Suffer and know that the more you endure in this life, the better the next.

I don't know if you are a believer, but you must know if you are, that Christ was humiliated in every area. Insulted, spat at, punched, crucified. He felt like the lowest human being that ever lived. His words were "I am a worm, not a man". That's how low He felt. Aren't we called also to feel like this? And when you are called to the same, know that you are loved beyond what you can even imagine.

It may not always be this way for you, remember that. You may come out of this, and someone else will be going "into" this. It's happening all the time. You are far from a waste of space. You are very necessary and those like you.

Answer 2

The first thing you must know is that no-one you've spoken of has handled your situation in your interest. You shouldn't be bullied and insulted. Being suspended from school for one day is totally inappropriate. It's basically a punishment. How can they punish someone for trying to commit suicide? It might have been in hope that your family would have time to look at the situation but it's still wrong. And your parents do sound as though they are in denial. If they have the money they should get you the counselling.

Something I learnt the hardway is that people don't always care in the way you expectthem too. As a child/teenager you expect things from adults that you sometimes don't get and you have to look out for yourself. Even when you try and turn to others, like 'professionals' and you think they surely must hold the key you can find they don't . I think you've done the right thing here in asking us lot. You've basically told the world your problem and you've much more likely to find people who can help. I think your parents care, they just don't know how to help.

Don't get lost in the moment and give up again. These bullies will be nothing once you're out of high school. While you're there, get on with whatever keeps you happy and do your best to ignore them. Write to those of us that have given our emails and ventwhat you feel about them to us. Mine is [e-mail] ;o)

You must be feeling so lonely but with us remember you are not alone. You are strong enough to reach out to us and find answers to your problems. That's an amazing skill that many do not possess, they just keep living a life with blinkers on. I bet you'll move on to bigger better things once you start venting away to us all ;o)

Chin up, you are beautiful
x

Answer 3

Hun,

I just want you to remember that EVERYONE, even me, has gone through this once in their life. Even the most popular kids that you see everyday gets made fun off.

I have also felt alone during these years of my life and as I grow up into adulthood, I realize that all these years I had been taunted (I am Indian) because of my skin..well..it meant nothing. These people do not impact me in anyways now. And look at where I am. I am at college. Sometimes when I walk past my previous tormenters, I still get shaken up but I do not get upset.
The feeling of helplessness is the worst, no doubt about it. About your parents, they might not have done anything because THEY don't know how to react to your situation. Imagine your child doing what you are. All they can really do right now is tell you they love you and offer to pay for therapy, medicine, etc..

You should not have gone through it. I am glad you survived. You will be the far wisest person among your peers when you get older. You are not a waste of space.

Hun, I know it is hard..but all you can do is hold your head high. Remember, when you get upset and attempt suicide, it only gives your enemy victory. Show them what you are made off.

You are not a waste of space, hunny.

Please, if you want to talk, don't hesitate to email me. I will be more than willing to talk to you and listen. You can get my email by clicking on username and next to the pic, it will say 'email user.'

Answer 4

You have the power to change it yourself. Stop relying on your parents because they are pissing you off. When you don't like something about yourself then change it, you're not too young. The main question that you should be focusing on your mind is what can you do or speak to in order to get the help you?

It is obvious you have access to a computer. Go into google and start searching for doctor who can help you. Print out the information and contact the people. Explain to them your situation and ask how can they help. There is a powerful diet drug that can help you. It is expensive, but your parents have been bless with financial means (in compare to me)

The name of is xenucal. Ask the doctor about it! Just imagine the expression on your classmates when they see the changes you have made for yourself.

Listen to me, suicide is a non-negotiable act. No one knows the ending result when you take your own life. It is not fair to those who will never have the chance to meet you in the future. You just may change someones life and as well as yours for the best, but if you take your life we will never know.

Also you not whining, you're just emotionally hurt. I truly feel your pain and I hope you will take the effort yourself to make that change in your life.

God Bless

Answer 5

I no you think you are alone but your not,I don't want to use the word normal but it all most is.When your a teenager you think the worse of ever thing,even I wanted to kill myself and I would have but I didn't take enough.I always thought no one like me or wanted to be around me.I was always very small for my age so that meant I had no shape at all.Something happened when I turned 20 my looks change and I started to full out.I got my hair styled and the guys started looking at me.I am married now with a son,if I would have seceded in killing myself I wouldn't of met the cutest guy every girl that met him wanted or have my son.Give it time you will get out of this
depression your in I promise you this.Another thing, you be surprised how many people just don't no what you are going through unless you come right out and tell them.Remember they can't read your mind.

Answer 6

First, you have to stop putting yourself down. You need to change your perspective of yourself if you want changes, and it sounds like you do.
I'm guessing you're in high school. I felt like you are now way back then. I hated myself, I cried almost every night, I put myself down, etc. I called myself fat and ugly, too. I considered suicide.
Listen to me when I say, it will get better once you're out of high school. High school is hell for the non-popular crowd. Once you're out in the real world, you'll be around people who aren't obsessed with shallow things like popularity, clothing labels, who's dating who, you know the scene.
I'm sorry your parents didn't take your suicide attempt seriously. My guess is they didn't do anything, because the whole thing frightened the stuffings out of them and they want to pretend it never happened. It's called denial.
If you can't get through to them that you need counseling, then talk to your school counselor. Maybe he/she can get through to your parents.
I went through counseling and it helped. But the change is going to have to come from you. Start by realizing you are important and loved. You are not a waste of space. You are here for a reason. Good luck, hon. Hang in there!

Answer 7

It appears like it is a very severe quandary for you, so might be you'll be able to ask your health care provider if he can prescribe whatever to support you shed extra pounds. Make certain that you will not get harmed via it. The high-quality manner is of direction, to head on a healthful vitamin and endeavor. But if different elements like genes get in the way in which (are your moms and dads or grandparents chubby?), then it's elaborate to get the burden down. Anywho, speak this over together with your moms and dads FIRST and notice if they are able to do whatever to support you. Best of good fortune. PS: And please do not degrade your self like that. I am certain that you're cared via plenty of individuals, you simply must see the well matters approximately your self. Heck, why fear approximately pleasurable others? I imply to heck with them. I was made a laugh of always whilst I used to be in core institution given that I used to be too thin. I'm being fully severe, I gave the look of a freaking twig. This institution of ladies could continuously gang up discover anything imply to mention to me. It simply is going to exhibit that individuals are continuously going to wish to position others down, only for them suppose well approximately themselves. If you seem round you, even celebrities are bashed at daily. Remember that you're lovely to your possess manner!

Answer 8

you are definetly not a waste of space, you are meant for something in life. have you tried sitting your parents down and having a serious conversation with them? if that dosen't work then talk to a teacher or guidance counselor at your school. it may be hard to talk to an adult about your problems but trust me, once you talk to the right person who listens to you everything will get better.

Answer 9

Sometimes its hard you don't want to look over your shoulder because you don't want to remember where you've been, i know because thats where i've been. Listen to the side of your heart that tells you what you need to do, because thats true. Sometimes you'll drown it out w/ your rage and anger or tears, you'll never forget those times cause you'll one day remember where you've been. I can't tell you what you really need to do, its a road you take all by yourself, just listen to your heart.

Answer 10

I know that you feel this way and I believe that you really are having a hard time right now, I have had a lot of experience with depression myself, severe depression, and I know how you feel, I really do. You need to e-mail me please, I am just a regular person but I believe that I can help you get through this emotionally, please e-mail me at [e-mail]