Can you please answer my questions about wedding inequalities?

Question

1. Why has the bride's family traditionally expected to pay for practically the entire wedding (except for the liquor, which the groom covers)?

2. Why does the bride's dress cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars, while the groom only needs to rent a tux? Couldn't wedding dresses be cheaper? I mean, really, it's only cloth and fabric.

3. Could anyone take the typical wedding, calculate ALL the costs, and determine the total amount of $ that the groom (or his family) pays versus the total amount of $ that the bride (or her family) pays?

I'll probably need to sort through these concerns pretty soon. Thanks.

Answer 1

traditionally the bride's bouqet, and corsage should be paid by the groom, along with the license and the liquor however weddings are a huge expense, and now-a-days it seems the bride's family and groom's family share the cost a little more equally. with people waiting longer to get married, and living together before marriage, then i believe the bride and groom should be paying a good part of the expense.
as for gowns, they can be as expensive, or not, as you choose. shop in consignment shops, liquidation stores, check out the want ads, you can find beautiful gowns for a fraction of the cost of regular shops.
weddings are a huge rip-off, big money is made from weddings. having said that, if you choose to have a 'fairytale' wedding and are willing to pay for it, then have fun.
but, don't feel you have to keep up with the trends, make your wedding what you want it! enjoy! good luck!

Answer 2

1. This stems from the times when a bride's family would have to pay a dowry. Paying for the wedding was part of that.

2. If the groom had to buy the tux it would cost more, but very few brides would only want to rent their dress. Also, tux styles are fairly constant so the rental place can use the same tuxes year after year. Styles in dresses change frequently so it would be riskier for them to rent them out. You don't HAVE to wear a wedding dress. You could wear a normal dress if the cost bothered you that much.

3. Why should we do that sort of thing for you? The costs would vary based on number of people there and the town you're in anyway. You seem like you're just complaining.

Answer 3

1. This dates from long-ago eras when the bride's family paid the groom a dowry. This practice is outdated, especially now that many brides and grooms are older and self-supporting. Each couple needs to work out the wedding finances based on their own situations.

2. The reason dresses cost so much is because women have been willing to pay top dollar. Why? Successful marketing. The marketing campaigns tell us we should splurge; spare no expense, it's your wedding day! Unfortunately, a lot of people buy into this notion that, to be classy and meaningful, a wedding must be lavish and pricey.

I got my beautiful wedding dress from Jessica McClintock for $300. In general, if you go to bridal stores that only sell bridal stuff, you'll pay more. Dresses at those places usually start close to $1000. Check department stores instead. No matter how you look at it, you're still only going to wear it for a few hours.

3. Sorry, I can't answer this one because it differs widely depending on the couple.

Answer 4

Well, I'll answer them the best I can...

1. Traditionally, throughout various cultures throughout time, the family of the bride has been expected to provide a dowry upon marriage, that is given to the husband. Originally, the purpose of a dowry was to ensure proper treatment of the new bride and to help the groom establish a prosperous household. It is my guess that the American tradition of the bride's family paying for the wedding stems from this custom, probably much for the same reason.

2. You got me. My friend's wife paid about $100 for a wedding dress on eBay and it looked very nice. From a techical point of view, I'm sure the woman's wedding dress costs more because it is more involved to make than a Tux..

3. When I got married, the brides family kicked in a few grand, my family kicked in a little less, and I paid the remaining $12K or so out of my own pocket. The wedding was great and I felt that the money was a gift to my new wife...never thought about inequalities or anything else, I just enjoyed the experience.

We had an indoor wedding at a beautiful Catholic Basilica. The reception was at a local tavern that looked like a dive from the outside, but was very nice on the inside. The spread ran us about $15.00 a head only plus alcohol, linens, and such. By the time we paid for limos, the rings, the dress, reception, church, photographer, videographer, etc...the wedding ran about $15K. This was in 1997. This was for about 225 people.

The reception in a nice hotel would have added about $5K to $10K onto the bill. We got a deal on the limos (2 limos for $100/hr for both) as my bro-in-law had a friend. We got a lot of wedding for the money.

The reception is what is going to make you or break you. Stay away from hotels if you need to save money as they cost quite a bit more. Don't be afraid to offer cheaper chicken and fish dishes over veal or steak. By the time people get the alcohol in them anyway, they could care less what they eat. Don't skimp on the photographer...you tend to get what you pay for.

Answer 5

The brides family paying for everything take sthe place of the dowry which was an amount of money the brides family gave to the newlyweds. She wats to look her bestest and in the case of the groom it's best if he rents a tux cause he usually hungover from the night before and the tux rental will clean the tux anyway. The brides family usually pays about 80 to 90 percent and that evens out by the suffering of the groom for the rest of his life.

Answer 6

1. Well, that's the way it is. Always was, always will be.


2. A bride can find a used gown, or a soiled one that can be cleaned and save hundreds of dollars that way. Or, she can find someone who can make a gown for less than you'll find them in bridal salons. Even look in second hand shops.

3. Considering that the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, and usually for the honeymoon, the costs can vary widely. Why bother with calculating them? They're still going to cost the same. Bride's family = wedding. Groom's family = rehearsal dinner, booze, honeymoon.

Yo can find many ways to cut some costs if you are creative. Fabric flowers, invitations made on your pc with one of the software programs. A sewn bridal gown. potluck style wedding dinner, brought by family or guests, CD music instead of a live band, and so on. Think about it. For every expensive thing, ask yourself how you could do this for less.

Answer 7

1. In many cultures, girls are worth less than boys. The brides parents even pay a "bride price" or dowry in many countries yet today.

2. The brides dress costs thousands only if she chooses to pay that much.

3. You can sit down with the grooms parents and ask them if they would be willing to pay for what ever percentage of the wedding you want. 50% of the total bill is not an unusual compromise in this day and age.

Answer 8

Question #1
The bride use to come with a dowery. Now the bride's family pays for the wedding. Now the reception, according to a etiquette book I used when I married, was paid for by the groom's family along with the rehearsal dinner.
Question #2
There are some boutiques that rent dresses. Especially wedding dresses. If you aren't too worried about keeping the dress, see if you can rent it. If you wish to keep the dress, you could look into formal dresses that come in white and having a head piece made or just purchase one.
Question #3
calculating a wedding depends on several thing, time of year, types of flowers, number of guests, type of reception,

Idea
Have you thought about looking into packages in Las Vegas? They are pretty reasonable.
Disney now talking about offering Wedding packages.

Answer 9

1. Maybe u should talk this over with your groom. This is the 21 century he should definitely have to pay a fair amount.
2. You ahould try buying a simpler cheaper dress then adding the trims u want, yourself. Oh, and by the way cloth and fabric are the same thing. Or, try going to the bridal district of ur local major city. My friend went to the bridal district in LA and was able to get her brides maid dresses for $50.

3./sorry can't do this for you because each wedding is different. do you want indoor or outdoor? evening or day? large or small? formal or informal? At home or at a venue? Catered or not? Maybe you should make some of these decisions first.
Also remember that it is your ( u and ur fiance's) day. You don't have to appease everyone. So what if great-grandma Ethel wants u to get married in a cathedral. have an outdoor wedding at a friends house. it all depends on what u guys want. Please remember that u are soon going to marry this man, involve him on the decisions, that way on your special day, u both enjoy it.

Answer 10

1. it was like that a long time ago. now its whatever people can afford they put in and most of the time its the couple getting married who is paying for the wedding.
2. well i dont know but davids bridal has the $99 sale maybe you can find something there.
3. before I think it was 60 (bride)/ 40 (groom) then it changed to 50/50 or even 80/20.