my new husband has a young child "sam"with his ex who he pays the required child support for.the ex allways wants more money but knows she can't get it.so what she does(just some examples) is let sams hair get so long that my husband takes and pays for him to get it cut.if sam needs something at school she has him call and ask my husband to pay for it(being a great dad he never says no and she knows this)I know these are all small things but she pulls this stuff all the time and money is tight for us .I feel his ex should pay for these things as he pays her child support.My husband thinks im overeacting am i?
2007-04-13 15:41:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You will never "win" in an argument that involves doing something for his child even if his ex is manipulative about it. The package you got when you married him includes his child. Perhaps you can get Sam's hair cut or buy him stuff when he needs it instead & avoid the ex. Take the child under your wing, understand & do what's right. The ex will always be an annoying pain in the backside, but that's Sam's mom - so be understanding & try to do what you can for Sam's best interest.
2007-04-13 16:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by sweet pea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely over reacting. As a Dad, your husband feels he should pay for the little extras Sam needs. Haircuts and school things are definitely within a Dad's responsibilities.
Most likely, money is tight for Sam's Mom, too. Child support doesn't cover everything.
Back off, and let your husband be a Dad.
2007-04-13 15:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not over reacting at all well Sam lives with his mother right full time she should be the one that paying for his hair cuts and school stuff and so on......Sam's father pays child support because his ex is looking after Sam......Sam's father shouldn't have to pay anything Else unless Sam is in your and his fathers care and if he needs something or whats to get something then you should buy it for him........so were has Sam's mothers money go to if she is getting you to pay thinks for Sam's school and hair cuts it like she cant look after the child or provide for him if she is getting money out of you and your hubby............i think you and your hubby should talk to the ex about her asking you for money when she is suppose to provide for her child and if she cant do that them Sam should be better off with in yours and his fathers care
2007-04-13 15:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by badgirlforlife007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are! When he decided to have these children with her he signed up for the long haul and now you want to begrudge these children to a good future just because he pays child support does she take him back to court every 6 months to up the support I'm guessing not! This child support goes to supporting a roof over his children's heads it doesn't include the extras it cost to raise them. I feel it is his responsibility to provide half of all the children's Field trips, haircuts, school clothes, winter clothes, summer clothes, summer camps, extra activities after school,and any other expenses and more. Stop being so petty. If the shoe was on the other foot you would expect it. Grow up!
2007-04-13 17:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Kathleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never win this one your husband is a good Dad,(you would'nt love him if he was'nt) My husbands ex got a million $$ and $3000 a month child support for 2 kids, she wanted the divorce. She would always send the kids over in need of things (without coats in winter!) so he would have to spend more money, now he kids are grown and she refuses to pay for anything for them, I wish my husband's situation was different but I adore him. Good luck!
2007-04-13 18:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by Andrea G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mom should not be putting son on the spot to ask dad for money. how embarrassing for son! i am glad to hear dad does not make a big deal of it, sounds like he is a great dad. i ask my childrens father when i cannot provide them with something they need. you are not over reacting. i think hubby needs to talk to ex and see if she knows what a bad spot she is putting sam in. she may not care in which case the only thing i can think of is to keep your reciepts and keep track of when she has him call and ask for something. then ask to have your child support modified based on how much each of you put into his upbringing. in the mean time don't let sam down and be supportive of hubby. if he feels like you are backing him into a corner on this one he might feel as though you are against his son. there are alot of emotions tied up in this one. tread carefully and wisely.lots of luck.
2007-04-13 18:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by adelaide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋