My sister is a real tomboy and she isn't too thrilled about the idea of dressing up for the wedding, (she hasn't said this but she's my sister, i know her) Is it wrong for me not to have her as a bridesmaid? i want my bridesmaids to be enthusiastic and happy, and i'm not sure if i'll get that from my sister, who don't get me wrong is happy for me but like i said she's not a dress up be infront of people person. I just don't want to break some unwritten rule and neglect to ask her to be a bridesmaid...and if she is a bridesmaid, is it wrong to have my best friend as my maid of honor instead of my sister?
2007-04-13 15:34:19 · 31 answers · asked by teeny tiny KT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My sister and I are ten years apart and were never really close, so I didn't think it was a big deal when I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid. It WAS a big deal, especially to her. Ten years later, I wish I had her by my side...of my six bridesmaids I have a relationship with one of them now....But who stayed with me when I was going through a really tough time...my sister.
Friends, even super close ones, will come and go, but you'll be sisters forever....let her be a special part of your special day...you won't regret it.
**Do make sure she WANTS to be a bridesmaid first....ask her what she would like to do in your wedding and let her do it!
Congrats and good luck!
2007-04-13 15:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who just got married recently. I have been married for almost 2yrs. Believe me there is no written law on even how to have a wedding or where! Throw "tradition" out the window and have it your way! This is you and your future husband's day! My sister was not even my maid of honor she was a bridesmaid. My husband's cousin was my maid of honor. Still to this day if I would have had it my way. Then it would have just been my husband, me God and the preacher standing up there. I didn't have any REAL friends that were women at the time. My sister in law and I are close now though. I don't regret the way my wedding took place I do regret not doing things to prevent other actions from happening though. Good Luck to you both, God Bless and Congrats!!!! Someone just liked what they saw and decided to make it a "tradition" there is no such law or thing to me!
2007-04-13 15:40:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have whoever you want to have as your bridesmaid and maid of honor.
I would talk to her and see how she would feel being your bridesmaid and she does not have to say yes just because she is your sister. Let her know that turning you down won't make you mad at her since you know she isn't into dresses.
You could always ask her instead to help out in some other aspect of your wedding.
2007-04-14 02:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not the type of person to be enthusiastic about anything. I hate dressing up too, but if I were asked to be in someone's wedding I'd be more than willing to do it for them (if we were really close). Even though its your wedding, it would be nice to ask your sister. You can word it a certain way to show her that it's ok if she doesn't want to be in it. You can let her know she has no obligation to do it. That way if she says she would rather not, you will be sure you didn't hurt her feelings.
There really is no right or wrong way to have a wedding.
2007-04-13 22:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mekana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't a "rule" so to speak, it's your day and you want to make the most of it, including having the wedding party of your choosing.
What I would do is talk to her and see how she feels about it. If she says no, well then you don't have to worry about it anymore. If you really want her in your wedding and she agrees, maybe you could find an alternative outfit for her- say, a pants suit made of the same or complementry colors instead of the dress. My sister is the same way and didn't want to be a part of the party but I still found ways to include her without being in the actual party. Good luck and congratulations!
2007-04-13 15:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by delight0211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been to weddings where the bridesmaids and maid of honor aren't sisters. Not that these people didn't have sisters, but I guess the sister's didn't want to?
I would probably ask her about it anyway. She might be willing to sacrifice her tomboy ways for your special day, but if not, no big deal, you can ask your friend.
2007-04-13 15:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to be, and you don't want her to be, then no, there is nothing wrong with not having her be a bridesmaid. Maybe she can help in some other way in the wedding? Talk to her about it. I'm sure you'll both be happier if she isn't up there with you. It certainly doesn't mean you love each other any less!! Good luck, and congrats!!
2007-04-13 15:51:01 · answer #7 · answered by aerofare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can have whoever you want as your bridesmaid. It's your day, not hers. I think you should talk to her first, and see if she would rather not be a bridesmaid... that way maybe you can spare her feelings by getting her to just admit she doesn't want to be one. You could be wrong. I don't like wearing dresses, but I was very happy to be a bridesmaid in my aunts wedding.
2007-04-13 15:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by * 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her if she wants to be your bridesmaid. As for the maid of honor, she does not necassarily have to be your maid-of-honor. Just make sure you give her a special position. Like at the bachelorette party get her a crown that says sister-of-the-bride. this way she knows she s imortant to you.
2007-04-13 16:19:59 · answer #9 · answered by love_life_jett 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your sister about it before you assume she doesn't want to do it. You could have her read something or do something else instead of being a bridesmaid. Ive been to many weddings were sisters weren't in the wedding party, but took some part in the festivities...It's your wedding and you should have whom ever you choose, but I would talk to my sister before I assume she wouldn't want to do it. Just for courtesy.
2007-04-13 17:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋