I remember as a child i would never want to hang around kid's or babies. I had three, but they are all grown. Even when they were little i couldn't wait for them to grow up. I don't even want to baby sit their kids . Am i crazy? I took great care of my three when they were kid's.. But I don't want to keep one of their kid's overnight. I can't be around them for long without feeling like i'm in jail.
2007-04-13 14:22:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
my first was unexpected. My husband wanted two boys and one girl. The girl came last. If I'd had one boy and then a girl. I would have only had two children. My daughter has 7 and she's 34
2007-04-13 15:24:18 · update #1
You're not crazy. You're just honest. Not everybody enjoys being around babies and toddlers (it takes a lot of energy and it's a lot of responsibility!). So, don't worry about it - and promise never to babysit! :-)
2007-04-13 14:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate kids; I'll go ahead and say it. They can be cute from time to time but most of the time they're just annoying... I'd never want kids of my own. No three a.m. tantrums for me thank you.
What I don't understand is if you feel this way why would you have 3 kids? This doesn't make any sense. Maybe your just "burnt out"; like you raised three so you've just kinda had enough. I can see where you would feel kinda imprisoned... you delt with having to arrange your schedule around your kids for 20 years.
What I have... now if enough people had that, they'd come up with a name for it and call it a disorder. What you have... is not a disorder... its a totally normal feeling for someone who has raised children. Now the way I understand it, its not that you can't stand the children themselves, you love them but a little goes a long way. Maybe its one or two things or a combination of both: you raised your own children and thats enough, and/or your grandkids are very misbehaved?
Anyways; good luck; you do not have a disorder. If you don't want to babysit; I say don't. You don't want your kids trying to dump their babies off onto you all the time anyways. You might just have more fun with your grandkids if you feel like you don't have to be responsible for them all the time.
2007-04-13 14:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by ssmith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, Alexis, you are not having mental problems. Not everyone was born to care for infants or children. My mother was a teacher for 40 years, but she did not know what to do with kids until they could talk back. Once they got there, she was happy again. I intended to have children, and never did. Now I'm happy I didn't simply because my health wouldn't tolerate me caring for grandchildren, though I can be very good for other people's children, for short periods of time.
I think you are recognizing that your talents lie in other areas. If this continues to concern you, try a few appointments with a counselor. Many therapists now recommend 5 sessions for very good results. In the mean time, let your kids know you are having concerns about handling their children overnight, most likely they will be understanding. After all, they are concerned for your health as well as their children's. Don't despair.
2007-04-13 14:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. I am the same way, had 2 kids. Raised them. No one says you have to like them, you've been there, you've done that. I am now in the process of moving 200 miles away. As when they do call it is because they want money, only because they can't manage their own. This shocked them into reality when I said I was moving. There is more to life than having kids. That wasn't the plan I had for my son, he chose a different route. They made their bed, now they have to lay in it. Following all the sacrificing, it is time for you to get on with your life. Don't even think about feeling guilty. You are normal, life is short, don't allow anyone to force you into babysitting, as you aren't the "grandma" they think you should be, we don't live in a patriarcal society, you don't owe them. This is your life, you devoted part of it to your children, it is not being self fish, it is being honest, let them know that you don't have time for this, screen your calls. Hope this helps. Good Luck, congratulations on your new found freedom!
2007-04-13 14:40:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is a disorder,but I am the same way. I just never really liked babies or toddlers. Once the kids are around five or older I am usually OK with them. But I was never one to "melt" when I see a baby, I don't care to hold them or anything.
Probably just what you personally don't like. No harm in it.
2007-04-13 14:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by innocence faded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt there is a syndrome or disorder for your problem. But I would expect if you went to counseling, which would be a good idea, you would find there is a root of your problem from your own childhood. Get the counseling so you can enjoy the priviledge of having grandchildren!
2007-04-13 14:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you just not a kid person. No harm done.
2007-04-13 14:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by That'sINTENSE! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the name for this is SMART
2007-04-13 14:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by beachloveric 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
CHOICE
2007-04-13 14:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋