I broke up with him because he was being completely unfair to me, he told me I wasn't allowed to go to the mall or to the movies or anywhere public like that with my friends anymore, and that is something my girl friends and I have always done! I tried and tried to talk some sense into him but he would not listen! And that very same day, he was going to hang out with one of his friends (girl) and go fishing with her in a public place! I found that completely unfair, and I finally ended up telling him we were done until he wanted to be fair about us. But I really truly love him and I DON'T want to lose him, he's my everything but I didn't know what else to do. He's been calling me every night to say goodnight, and I'll tell him we need to work it out, but he keeps saying "no I'll be with you when I'm done being mad at you!" I'm so hurt by this I don't want to lose him! I love him, what do I do?? Did I do the right thing? Please help me! Thanks.
2007-04-13 12:48:29 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave him! if hes gonna b that controlling when ur just dating, imagin how controlling hel be if ur like married
2007-04-13 12:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by musicalcamper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You DEFINITELY did the right thing. Your boyfriend is an user, and it was only going to get worse. Dumping him was the best thing you could have done, unless you wanted a lifetime of being manipulated and controlled. (And I'm willing to bet that him and that girl weren't just fishing).
Here is what you do now. First, do NOT talk to him anymore. He had his chance. He blew it. Let him go. Every time you talk to him, you will make it harder to move on with your life. Now go out and have fun with your friends! Find a hobby. Volunteer in your community. Get involved with things. Have fun! KEEP BUSY. Keep this up and give it some time. You'll get over him pretty quickly if you do that. When you feel you are ready, then start dating other people.
In the meantime, lean on your friends and family. That is what they are there for. And whatever you do, do NOT go back to the loser. I guarantee you that you will regret it. Good luck!
2007-04-13 12:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing!!
I know this is hard and you hurt a great deal, but please give yourself a chance!!
Because you were together for 1 1/2 years there are a great many memories, fond ones, and if you are not careful, you can focus on those too much, and even rewrite some of the bad ones into good ones.
Because of the 1.5 years, there are many habits, habits take some time to break.
Sweetheart, this is fast becoming a dangerous situation...........control leads to so many bad things. Trying to alienate you from your friends is a HUGE warning sign of bad things to come.
Please spend more time with your girlfriends. Don't be available for the goodnight calls....what good will come from that besides sorrow & & &.
If you guys had certain times you hung out, certain programs you watched...then be sure to find other things to do during those times.
Just remember, that even when we make the right choices, it still hurts. It really does. This pain, is the pain of loss........pain from loss comes from many different experiences in life. It DOES NOT mean that you made a mistake.
Best of Luck...........You deserve to be treated so much better than this......and better of the things, "I fear will come."
Let us know how you are doing from time to time, OK? You can email me any time. Women need to be strong for each other.
2007-04-13 13:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by sunshinek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YOU DID THE RIGHT THING>.....he's a control freak and the farther away you are from him the better off you'll be. DO NOT LET ANYONE...mistreat you and TELL you , you have to stop hanging with your g/friends......not "allowed" to go to the mall etc...who is HE to say "you are not allowed to do this or that"???? Girl........get away from this fellow....Think about it......someone says "i'll be with you when im done being mad at you"........and goes fishing with another girl.....PLEASE LISTEN and Get Away from him*~ Stop talking with him on the phone, stop answering any emails etc..if he comes to your place, you NEED TO TELL HIM You're DONE ......have a nice life......you're moving on with yours~ NEVER allow anyone to control you or your thoughts......don't allow him to make you feel like you can't live without him, you love him so much.........NO GIRL YOU DON"T LOVE HIM~! You "THINK" you do...as he's controlled your every thought and he KNOWS how you Listen to HIM* Step back and take a look at what you've written. If this was someone else writing this...would you not see* that he is a control freak and you're under his 'spell'.......GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ....it's for your own good*~ GoodLuck*
2007-04-13 12:57:55 · answer #4 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel as though you need and love him because you two were together for a year. You got used to being around him and he was your "world", essentially.
The thing that you need to realize is that you do not actually need him. In fact, you NEED to stay away from him. You did the right thing in breaking up with him, definitely. Now continue to make good decisions for yourself and do NOT get back together with him.
It will be hard, but it will be very good for you and your self-esteem. This dude was controlling you - sounds completely ridiculous to me. Any guy that tells you what you "can and can't do" deserves to be dropped and without explanation. He doesn't deserve a girl like you, and a girl like you does NOT deserve to be with a guy like him.
Let him move on to another girl and treat her that way! You can find someone who cares about you within reason - someone who will let you do the things that you want to do (NO ONE should keep you from hanging out with your friends; did I already say that was ridiculous?). You deserve someone who will love you and care about you, but who will let you have your own life and make your own decisions.
Be strong, hun - we're all pulling for you here! Do the best you can NOT to get back together with him. And if you need some support, e-mail me anytime!
2007-04-13 12:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by Delvala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing, but don't hang on to this guy. Any man who wont let you have some basic free time is only going to be more controlling if you ever get married. There are plenty of more fish in the see. You are a woman that is the best bait there is. You will be broken hearted but you will get over it and be stronger for it.
2007-04-13 13:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by wisemancumth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on hun...then you will someday find a better guy who treats you way better..and forget all about this guy...
Hes just playing you,its not fair.I know it hurts so bad to think of losing someone you've been with for so long..we all feel like that,and we end up staying because we dont want to feel Lonely and miss the past..the few good times,its called whitewashing the relationship...
Please move on,the sooner the better.
2007-04-13 12:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing but at the moment you're not. You're practically begging him to get back with you and he's laughing that he knows it and he'll come back when you stop begging... he was unfair and he's probably cheating... fact proves!! that when a guy suddenly becomes paranoid and jelous of where you go and who you talk to it is because he plans on cheating, did cheat or wants to cheat and thinks that you might too! that is why they get paranoid and try to avoid you from doing it back to them... stop talking to him for about a week. and when you're ready, sit down, talk to him and tell him.. enough of the BS, if you want to work this out, we will if not then we will both go our own ways, seperately and that's it.... it's always for the best.
2007-04-13 12:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Foxy Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. This guy isnt giving you the freedom that you wan't. He may not trust you if he won't let you go out with any of friends. He probably does want you back but you guys have to talk about what your gonna do in the future.
2007-04-13 12:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by handra81294 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an IDIOT, you did the RIGHT THING and you do NOT need a vindictive, hypocritical bastard like that in your life! My ex was exactly like that and I left him and yes it was hard but it was the right thing to do for my sake - I'm now engaged to the man of my dreams!! This guy is manipulative and horrible and he knows he can hurt you more by dangling the idea of you getting back together in front of your nose. GET RID and BE HAPPY!
2007-04-13 12:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by Spazzcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy in his mid/upper 20s, I cannot stress to enough how sure I am that you did the right thing. BELIEVE ME. The guy sounds like a controlling jerk. The WORST thing you can do is slip back into a relationship with him. Mark my words...
2007-04-13 12:53:36 · answer #11 · answered by markbesada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋