Fourth child on the way due end October . One too many? Yay to big families? or what?

Question

Other children are 5 , 3 and 2

ps my wife and I are chuffed! Just want views :-D

Answer 1

I think big families are great. If you have the space and can afford them, then having loads of kids running around the house has got to be good.

I've always thought I'd like to have about four children of my own one day, no less than three anyway. :)

Answer 2

I had my first at 19. She was an only child till 11 years old then I had my second, then third. My fourth was unexpected as I'd decided not to have any more. As a youngster growing up I didn't desperately want children. When I had my first I thought I'd only like one. I changed my mind later and had my second and was happy to have another as I then thought it was nice to have siblings close together. I was worried about having a fourth but dealt with it. I wouldn't be without him for the world now, he's beautiful and has taught us so much. So I never planned on a big family, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my children to bits and they make life beautiful. Yes life can be demanding with four kids (mine are 17, 6, 3 and 20 months - the youngest is totally deaf) but I wouldn't have it any other way. If by some slim chance my kids are off with grandparents for the day (which I initially get all excited about), I'm bored within an hour!

My children are happy and well cared for. I work 3 days a week and tutor one evening and devote my time to them on my four days off and all evenings save one. Mine is a difficult stiuation where the 3 youngest all have some forms of special needs (the 6 year old has only minor speech problem requiring therapy, the 3 year old has verbal dyspraxia and my youngest is in the process of having a cochlea implant). I will say, that having this many children and coping with all their different needs (more so than other children) is knackering but I cope and work and find time (early hours) to do this!
PS - I'm from a family of 5 and my mother is from a family of 12 (6 brothers five sisters) so it must be in the genes.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong with big families. Here in UK our population is in slow decline, hence the need to bring more people in all the time; this in spite of public opinion, etc.

Italy is a serious case in point and it is estimated that within fifty years there will hardly be any 'native' Italians left in Italy. So what are the Italians doing about that? They're bringing in new settlers all the time, from such as Romania [Romans] and Africa. Just like old times then.

The population of Wales is also in slow decline. Blimey! Only a few years ago there was all that 'breeding' going on immediately following the closure of some of the mines. What does a recently made redundant miner do all day? Two guesses only please.

Both the major political parties in UK want to encourage families such as yours. Mum plus Dad and the kids. Already in the pipeline there are tax incentives and there's plenty of assistance if and when cash flow problems occur.

Think 'family', think 'big family'. We need all the people we can get, so why not make some at home?

God's basic command was "Go forth and multiply".

Answer 4

Congratulations!! I am Very Happy for You and Your Wife and Your Kids. You say that you're chuffed and obviously there is Love in Your Family. All kids need is Love, food and a warm safe bed.
I have two Nephews 3 and 6 months and They are Amazing!! I know the Joy that a relationship with a child can mean and it sounds like You and Your Family are Sorted.!!
Maybe think a bit more about the next one, too many and You will have to spread Yourselves too thin. Best of Luck to You and Yours. Have you Boys or Girls?

Answer 5

I was the youngest of 4 who were all born within 5 yrs.
We all helped each other out and I can remember a very happy childhood.
At the same time, we all had different personalities and often fought and argued amongst ourselves but with backs against the wall we would all stick together and take on the world. I never felt alone when I was with my brothers and sisters. When I was 10 then 13, my mum gave us 2 more little brothers to have around. As I mentioned the personalities, it was the brother I was 10 yrs older that I was closest to. He was my best Friend in the world.

I have a daughter aged 15..and sadly..for her, she is an only child. Very often she tells us that she wishes she had a brother or a sister and sometimes feels lonely for conversation with people her own age when at home.

I always wanted more children, but sadly, I had a career that took up a lot of my time and a partner who didn't want more children so I had to make a compromise.

I think it will be great for your children to all grow up together and who will never feel lonely.

All the best for you and your growing family.

Answer 6

I am one of four and it was really nice growing up and is nice now. You have an instant network of friends and a support group (as long as you all get on as we did) plus it is an even number which is always a good thing as it reduces squabbles according to my mum!

However I have to admit I agree with others who have said that you should only have a big family if you can afford it, my parent waited till they were financially stable before having us all and I think people that have more and more kids and live off state benefits are irresponsible. Accidents happen I appreciate that but people that claim they only wanted a couple and now have eight or nine kids and can't afford to work are taking advantage of a system that currently whether knowingly or not encourages people to lean on the state.

Oh and to the gentleman that said what about school runs etc not everyone goes in the car. I spent my last year at high school taking my little sister to school everyday and collecting her on foot! I used to piggyback her home everyday as by home time she was too tired for the mile walk. If my mum hadn't had four kids she would have really struggled that year as she had problems with her feet and we all pitched in and helped her.

So I say Yay to big families and congratulations to you and your wife may you have a happy and healthy child.

Answer 7

I have 3 children- except they are almost grown up- they are18 20 22.
I regret everyday not having more, as I always said I wanted 5 and now I wish I'd had 7.
We had our children close together and it was hard work for a while but there is always enough love for more.
I think four is great, also your age gap is good as they will be company for each other.
I think people should be able to financially support a big family without relying too heavily on state benefits, we were quite poor so 3 was all we could afford.
So YAY to big families!

Answer 8

I say congratulations! People should do what makes them happy, as long as it doesn't infringe too much on others. By this I mean people that just have kid after kid and never work. Other than that I have no problem, it's all good. I don't think 4 is that big anyway. Maybe to this generation of English people it is but I'm the eldest of 5, my mum is one of 7 and my father is one of 8 I think. That's what I call a big family!

Ignore people that have a problem with those that want more than 2 children, they're probably the same ones that chuck their parents into homes when they get old...

Answer 9

The number of children you have is up to you and your wife and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks as long as you are both prepared to take on the proper parental responsibilities.

I'm sure number 4 child will never be thought of as the 'one too many' when he or she arrives!

At a time when women are opting for either no children or one or two, my friend had six and she was also an active volunteer in various children's' organisations.

Just after her youngest started school she discovered she was expecting twins and was delighted.

Answer 10

personally, i love big families...i am one of 5 (the youngest may i add) and some of the best times of my life have been with my sisters and brother. because theres a 15 year gap between the oldest and youngest of us, you have a range of opinions and friends between each one. So you can get different advice, i am really lucky that i get along with all my siblings though =). Just be careful they don't bite each others' heads off lol.

to be honest i like bigger families much better then one child families, i've found that alot of them are either spoilt rotten, or lonely. So i suppose neither is very good. Good on ya for being traditional =) rare these days, oh and congratulations =). Take care x

Jessi x

Answer 11

Ah well firstly congratulations!

I think it depends on each and every family,it depends on income, accommadation, and the love and support you can provide.i think if you are capably to look after lots then why not, i dont like it when you see people with loads of kids struggling for money and there kids get bullied for having poor clothes etc.I just think that is so selfish and no child should have to go through that at all.My mums friend has 18 children, she has had one a year since i was born(18 years ago) and she is pregnant with twins, how they cope i do not know.i personally dont want any but if i have to ill have one, then again i am only young so thats prob why.