I understand that its not like this for all guys. But for instance my boyfriend always tells me that being a guy in a relationship is very dificult for him because being a guy they have a hard time being faithful. I dont understand why this is so can you guys help me to get a better understanding please....
2007-04-13 11:29:32 · 7 answers · asked by Hott Mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is of course an over-simplification to say that all men have trouble that way, or even that all men are non-monogamous in their hearts. But let me give you my theory. God made men and women to meet each other - in essence to fulfill the Biblical injunction to "Be fruitful and multiply". Therefore, even though it is morally good for society for men and women to be faithful because it tends to keep society strong and does not tear it down, in essence fidelity is a compromise for the betterment of society that is in reality totally un-natural.
To be blunt, men want by their very nature to inseminate as many women as they can, not only due to their hormones and the sex thrills they engender, but due to the psychology of being a success with women being in the nature of positively reinforced feedback. Any man that says differently to what I have just said is lying. The difference, however, is that such totally out-of-hand behavior must be recognized as bad for society, but not necessarily bad for the individual - if a group of swingers want to move to an island and have sex with 100 different people that is not in and of itself wrong if it adds to the stability of THEIR society.
Back in Bibilical days being faithful was not as hard as it is now for several reasons, the most important of which being distance - people lived so far away relative to today that there was much lesser opportunity to commit adultery - and if they did traval people would talk. In addition, the human lifespan was so much shorter back then than now to the point that in the old days most men would have been dead before the time they could have had a chance to form another bond after they either fell out of love or if their spouse died. The third reason was leisure - no time due to no labor-saving devices held by the common people. The fourth, and perhaps greatest reason was that in those days everyone in the village knew everything about everyone else, so adultery could not "hide", and when found out the punishment was frequently to be stoned to death - so people were afraid of the consequences, unlike in today's world where even criminal repeat offenders can get paroled - no fear of deterrence.
So it's all basically the fault of biology and society - the native sex drive, the increased lifespan, the breakdown of society and the advances of machines resulting in the increase of leisure for the masses since Biblical days, all of which increase the motive and opportunity to fool around manifold - which is why you now see swinger sites, pornography and friends with benefits seemingly about to supplant not only monogamy but even the idea of having a relationship at all.
This does not mean, however, that we men must listen to the dictates of the flesh and let our society go to the dogs - quite the opposite - it is time to stand up once again and work towards building up the moral necessity of fidelity.
2007-04-13 11:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea. Personally, I can't relate. I'm with the one I want to be with and I have no desire to be with anyone else. There's a wonderful woman right in front of me. Why would I even want to look elsewhere? It doesn't make sense to me. I think the guys who are not faithful in relationships are not ready nor responsibile enough to handle a real relationship. Guys who are "playing the field" are not really adults, not really men because they seem to treat women as things that can be used and then thrown away when they lose interest. Meaningful relationships are important things that require time, energy, and commitment. If some guys aren't interested in that, I think they need to learn to grow up and be more responsible. It also makes it that much harder on guys like me when guys who are unfaithful give the rest of us a bad name. We're not all like that. I hope you find a guy who will treat you with respect and kindness. We all should be treated that way.
2007-04-13 11:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by Eastern US Guy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are ignorant of the facts. Recent studies show that women cheat at the same percentages as men do. Your question should be asked of both sexes or not at all.
Your boyfriend is going to cheat on you, he is tell you that but you don't see it. Don't be surprised when it happens, as you have been warned. Good men don't have a problem being faithful, your boyfriend is not telling you the truth. I guess he thinks you are dumb enough to believe it. That you asked this question confirms that he might just be right.
2007-04-13 11:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cuz society depicts guys who gets lot of girls in a positive light. And so many of them try to be unfaithful to be well received in their social circle. I'm not saying its right, but its the way it is.
2007-04-13 11:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by Danny S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are more single women then men. Plus more women are born everyday then men. So its a numbers game to me. There is more for us to choose from!
2007-04-13 12:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by G Money 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you have any "female" friends??....If you watch what they do, you will see that your female friends do the same thing!
2007-04-13 11:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by 951 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some nlggas just aint "one-woman" nlggas.
2007-04-13 11:35:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋