I know it is a personal decision but I just don't feel done. I currently have 3 kids, all under 4 (my oldest will be 4 next month) and really want another one. But I know if I have another one I won't be able to provide as many activities for each of them. On the other hand, they have each other and family is so important. Money will always be an issue, but it isn't the most important thing right? We have a big enough house, and we will be able to feed, clothe and provide some activities for each...college will be hard, but we are already saving for the 3 I have now...so am I crazy to have a fourth? If not, am I crazy to want one soon? Thanks for your opinions!
2007-04-13 09:12:06 · 8 answers · asked by klein619 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To answer some of your points...
Yes, my husband also wants another one. We both love our kids and feel like there is room in our hearts and home for another one. (I have even asked my oldest and he says he wants another sibling, though he is not even four, so not using that as a deciding factor, though if he said no, would have to think about it harder for his sake)
Money being an issue means that we don't have a ton, but enough. Enough to take them on vacation every year or so, and enough to provide them with some of their wants. Even if I had all the money in the world, they won't have everything they wanted....kids don't need everything they ask for.
I hate the baby age, and my youngest is only 5 months old, so that isn't the reason.
I don't want to wait until the oldest is old enough to help, because I want my children to all be close and I know that is easier if they are closer in age. In theory, the closer in age, the more they have in common.
2007-04-13 09:37:05 · update #1
You are not crazy. Think about whether or not the"activities" are really all that important. You can provide some great experiences for them without much money at all. You just have to get creative. If you feel that you should have more then maybe you should. You need to make sure that you and your husband are on the same page with this. You have an adequate home and the ability to feed your kids and I am sure plenty of love to go around. That is really all that matters.
Go for it.
2007-04-13 09:22:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think of the added stress another child under the age of four is going to put on you, your husband and the kids you already have. Stretching yourself too thin is not only harmful to you, but to your family as well.
Money will be an issue...your words. The stress caused by worrying about money destroys families. It destroyed mine. My parents always did their best to make sure us kids had what we wanted and needed but sometimes it was just too much to handle.
What about waiting a couple years until the oldest is old enough to help out with the younger kids. That way there is no so much stress on the family.
2007-04-13 09:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by cutietexanchik 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're right. It's a very personal decision. One thing to consider is... do you want a BABY, or do you really want to add another person to the family forever ? I think some of us Moms miss the baby stage and really want to care for a little babe- don't feel done with doing that. One idea though is to be the child care provider for another mom who has a baby. You will offer that baby a wonderful home, bigger kids to play with, and a little extra income for yourself.
Best wishes- no matter what you decide!
from a grandma-aged person
2007-04-13 09:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Does you partner want one, too? (Not sure why that got a thumbs down. Just asking a question.)
Go for it if you both want it. One thing about the more in common theory. My hus 3 siblings, all close in age. They are as different as 4 people can be and always have been.
2007-04-13 09:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you a breeding chicken or a human being? yes $ is important when they get older, any body can have 4 little kids at home with lots of plastic toys and cookies, even welfare moms, but later they want expensive sports equipment, nice clothes, trips to disneyland etc. is NO the big answer to their future?? do things with those 3, take them places, teach them things, they don't need another sibling.
2007-04-13 09:20:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
VERY PERSONAL CHOICE.MONEY IS AN ISSUE BUT YOU HAVE STATED YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THERE NEEDS.
FAMILY IS VERY IMPORTANT. IF YOU HAVE A FOURTH CHILD YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.
GOOD LUCK IN WHAT EVER YOU DECIDE.BEST WISHES!!
2007-04-13 09:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by KAT 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If I didn't have female problems I would have had 6.
2007-04-13 09:15:59 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you have one life to live, live the way you want it. Do what makes you happy.
2007-04-13 09:15:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋