I met basically the man of my dreams.. so respectful, he tried to treat me like a queen. but i was so messed up from my past relationship i didn't feel like i deserved love. i did everything possible to push him away and when he dumped me, that's when all the sudden i wanted him... i went crazy with the texts messages, even reached out to his friends to help us get back together.. he has zero respect for me now. ... now that it's dawning on me what was wrong, i'd like to reach out to him, but i know he won't even take my calls... i know where he hangs out, should i try to "accidentally" show up so we can talk. i know he might reject me again but i want another chance or at least to make it right with him...
2007-04-13 08:41:58 · 21 answers · asked by noway 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he'd ask me questions like"what kind of husband would you want" and i'd say"i never want a husband! i never want to get married!!!!"
when he'd say things like.. "this is cute like we're in a relationship" i'd say"no no no i don't want a relationship!!!"
that's just how scared i was...
2007-04-13 08:42:52 · update #1
i've posted this a couple times to get as many opinions as possible
2007-04-13 08:43:14 · update #2
i told him the first date about my past and how much i was hurt, but he still tried.. that's why i think maybe at least he'll know i'm not bsing and that i went through alot.. or on the other hand he might be like"damn, i knnew i shouldn't have even messed with that nutjob!" :(
2007-04-13 08:48:55 · update #3
Give him some time to cool off. give it a few months, then try to call him.... if he still doesn't answer your calls, write him a letter discribing how you feel and how you messed up. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
2007-04-13 08:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by megs1bq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, let me be upfront. I think you are trying solvage something that is very difficult to solvage. That said, i would tell you a few things.
Be sure you love him and want him. People, once they lose something suddenly start wanting it because they can't have it. Make sure that's not what this is about.
And, make sure he has reasons to love you. Ask yourself honestly, why he should love you. What do you have for him. What are you willing to be to him.
Give both yourselves some time. Like a month or two. Stop bothering him. Don't force yourself on him. Spend some time thinking about this whole thing, by yourself - not with him.
After you have given enough time, to both of you, call him one day, tell him you had though a lot about this, and you would like to talk to him, if it isn't a big problem for him. Go with an open mind, be ready for rejection, open yourself up to him.
Or, once again, after giving him enough time, write an email, explaining everything.
Giving some time important - you're not going to get too many chances to keep disturbing him. So, take your time, and do it properly.
If he still doesn't want you, then, that's what it is. Life sucks sometimes and sometimes it sucks even more if you could have been better in handling it.
2007-04-13 15:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm a guy so my opinions on from this side. I'm not surprised that you want him back now that he's dumped you. After all, what do we want the most if not the things we can't have?
But you should understand that you going 'crazy with the text messages' and going through his friends are probably starting to creep him out. I think you two need a distance to let things sit. You've just been looking desparate, and if you 'accidentally' pump into where he hangs out, it'll only make you look more desparate. We're not stupid, we know you know where we hang out... So just chill. You won't like it when a guy is desparate, so the same applies here.
2007-04-13 15:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by Shades of Green 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a mature conversation with him. Explain to him the problems that you've had in your past relationships. Explain to him that you now know what you've done to hurt him. Ask him if you guys can start over as friends, and just go from there. Don't force a relationship right off the back. Good friends make the best lovers.
2007-04-13 15:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jay's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at some point, if he has his mind set on leaving you behind, you'll have to let him. Think of him as much or more than you're thinking of you. You DID push him away, can't say you didn't expect this. He can only be expected to do so much for you. If he won't answer your calls, you should find him and talk to him, but only ONCE. Let him know that if he really won't listen to you, you won't be trying to contact him again, and tell him what you just told us. Even if you love with everything you have, you need to respect his decision.
2007-04-13 15:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anniekd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sweetie, I think sometimes in life you get do-overs and sometimes you don't. You have done all things within your power and decency to let this man know that you have changed your mind.
Unfortunately, it is his decision whether or not he wants to pursue a relationship with you for the second time. I know it is a hard fact to deal with but it is what it is. I wish you the best of luck.
You have to learn your lesson, be open and look for the real man of your dreams. I kind of understand where this man is coming from. Before I met my husband, the men I would date never appreciated me while I was available to them. It was always after I left they couldn't live with out me. Sometimes I would give them a second chance and sometimes I wouldn't.
Good Luck
2007-04-13 15:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by Happy 2B Nappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is tell him what you told us, that you regret pushing him away because of your fear of getting hurt again. Your past behaviour probably came off to him as you being snotty, and totally rejecting him. Also he is probably listening to his friends advice, and it is usually, if you treat women good they do not want you, if you treat them bad they do. Just a guess. Best you do not call or contact him in any way. If he really meant all the things he said to you then in time his heart will soften and he will call you again. Otherwise you are right, he will learn to disrespect you and see you as needy. I do hope all works out for you, I know how your past pain has lead you to push him away. Just remember, to love is to trust, to trust is to love. In order to love someone you must be willing to take the risk of possibly getting hurt again. Best of luck to you!
2007-04-13 15:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find some way to get him only and talk to him. Tell him that you know that you are wronge. Then tell him how you are just so hurt from you past relationship and tell him that you wnat him back. Tell him that you will make it all better and that you really want to be with him. Dont be afraid to admit that you were wronge and dont be defensive. Good Luck!
-Amber Rose
2007-04-13 15:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by smart blonde is not an oxymoron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go apologize to him and tell him what happened, and then see if he wants to get back together. Going crazy on him won't help any - you have to approach him with respect for his opinions and feelings.
That's the only way you can start to build a relationship with him.
2007-04-13 15:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by Big Super 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a situation like that but i am the guy and if she wanted me back i would say no. cuz now i'm the one who's like "i hate relationships, i don't wanna get married" i treated her like a queen, then i got dumped in the dirt. so now i just have sex with girls and delete their number out of my phone cuz i ain't never getting dumped in the dirt again. he won't get back with you but he might have sex with you
2007-04-13 15:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋