A friend of my father's gave me an engagement gift. I have been engaged now for almost a year and feel that they just did so so they get an invite to the wedding. It is something that they have done to others in the past as well. I really do not know them at all and from what I understand the wife tends to be a troublemaker. The last wedding we were all at together she almost got into a fist fight and most of the people at her table left early. Am I obligated to invite them to the wedding if they got me an engagement gift or is a simple "thank you" note enough? I explained my hesitation to my father as it is his friend and who is paying for the wedding and he was understandable to it. And he and my mom have A LOT of friends coming to the wedding so it is not like I am being unfair in that aspect. I just don't know them or want them there. But I also don't want to be rude.
2007-04-13 08:17:14 · 16 answers · asked by kerry c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You don't have to invite ANYBODY to your wedding. It sounds like it would be perfectly OK with everyone for you to leave these people off your guest list. I can't imagine anyone caring enough about being invited to try to "buy" an invitation. I only go to weddings if absolutely necessary. (I hope you sent your thank you note long ago, when you received their gift.)
2007-04-13 08:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel at all uneasy about them coming to the wedding, then don't extend an invitation to them. It is you and your fiance's day, and you have the right to invite who you want. Send them a nice thank you note...you could even wait until after the wedding if it is in the near future. Sending an engagement gift does not imply an invitation by any means. They are being rude and disrespectful in assuming that they will be invited for giving a gift. You are not being rude so long as you send them a thank you note.
2007-04-13 08:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You certainly do not have to invite them to the wedding! A thank you note is more than appropriate. If you need an excuse for not inviting them, money/wedding size is always a good one. I would however be careful about inviting any other of your father's friends that might also be intimate with that couple. If you're going to make a rule, stick to it. Otherwise they'll know it was personal. My fiance and I made a rule that we were not going to invite any coworkers or distant acquaintances. That way we don't show any favoritism. I would however sent them a wedding announcement after the fact. It shows that you didn't completely cut them out of the "dear friends and family" list, and might even get you a wedding present!!
2007-04-13 08:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Chrissy-DO 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say you were being rude. If you know that the female have a bad history at weddings, than I wouldn't invite her to my wedding. You are not being mean, because you barely know her. The gift was a very generous thing for her to do. If you know she just wants to bribe you for an invitation to your wedding than I say no. If she doesn't have the courage enough to ask you for an invitation and wants to go the sneaky route to it..........there's a problem. I would just say thankyou for the gift. That was very kind of you. Be on your way. Also if she is friends with your father, than that still doesn't make it okay for her to just come without your consent. Unless you feel otherwise.
2007-04-13 08:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Mamii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, they were honoring your dad by giving you a gift. They chose to do this. Send a thank you, but that absolutely does not necessitate an invitation. At my school, there are always bridal showers and many teachers attend because we all work together and want to honor the bride. But only close friends or teaming teachers are invited to the wedding. And we certainly don't expect invitations just because we came to the party. You don't want them there.... enough said !! Now, don't worry your pretty little head about this for another minute. Case is closed.
2007-04-13 08:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely up to you who comes to the wedding, so don't worry about what they think. It is possible they may feel offended, but that is not your fault. Giving an engagement gift has nothing to do with getting invited to a wedding.
2007-04-13 08:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by Larry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd send them a Thank You note and if they ask about the wedding let them know that you have limited seating but defiantly invite them to the next family gathering.
2007-04-13 08:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by Emily M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They did not buy you a gift because they want to go to your wedding. Seriously, people do not like weddings that much. Most people go because they feel obligated to, not because they're particularly excited about it. They bought you a gift because they wanted to, to be nice. But you don't have to invite them to the wedding if you don't want to.
2007-04-13 08:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A very nice thank you card is more than sufficient.
If they expect to be invited just because they gave you an engagement gift, that is their problem, not yours.
It is your day, and the beauty of that is that you get to invite, or not invite, whomever you want.
The fact that your parents are cool with you not inviting them makes it even easier not to!
Congratulations and I wish you and your soon-to-be the best!
2007-04-13 08:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by samantha 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding date. Invite the your family, closest friends and people that are not troublemakers.
Congradulations and good luck with your meriage.
If it was me I would send them a thank you card.
Good luck.
2007-04-13 08:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Maria M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋