what's it like to have step parents?

Question

i do not have any step parents, people always tell me they do not love them, is that true. i think a parent, normal or step, should discipline their kids, but also show them love, When you have step parents does it feel the same as having a real one?

Answer 1

It depends on the people involved. Some step-parents are the only parent of that gender that the child knows.

Some step-parents choose not to get involved with the children's lives and some are not allowed to be a part of decision making regarding the children.

Answer 2

I think everyone has their own unique experience. My mom married my step dad when I was 10, and we lived half the time with them and half time with my dad. He never tried to replace my dad, and I wouldn't have wanted him to. But he was always there for me, and I love him and he loves me. And now that I have children he is absolutely every bit as much a grandparent as any of the others.

My dad did not marry his current wife until I was in my mid 20s. You'll notice I don't even refer to her as a step-mom. She's really nice and I get along well with her, but more in a friend way. We won't ever have any type of parent-child relationship. She's also a grandparent to my kids, though we don't see them often (we live in Idaho, they live in New York).

I think as far as discipline goes, it really depends on what age the child is when the step parent comes into their life. Younger children will be more accepting of discipline from a step parent, while older will not. That doesn't mean that a step parent shouldn't be respected or allowed to make rules in their own house, but disciplining really should come more from the biological parents.

Answer 3

I grew up in a family with no stepparents (parents were married until my mom died when I was 25). Then, I married a man with teenaged children (2 daughters). It was tough because you all have to get used to the new family dynamic. I get along with my stepdaughters and I love them, but that doesn't mean it wasn't tough. (By the way, I am my hubby's 3rd wife - so they had been through this before.)

My brother has 2 school-aged stepdaughters and he (like me) treats them as if they were his real kids. But it's just like everything else, relationships take work and aren't always perfect. The person your mom or dad chooses to marry might not be the person you would choose to share a home/life with! They may be very different from your biological parent. And that can cause conflicts.

:) Thanks for the good question. :)

Answer 4

I had a step father and to me he was my father. I didn't see him as my step father. But that is because I don' t know who my real father is. He has never been in my life and never will be in my life. My mom was only 18 when she moved in with my bio dad and she found out he was an abuser. He use to hurt her really bad. So she left him and a month later found out she was pregnant with me. She was a single mother until I was 6. Then she met my father and got married to him. Sadly he passed away 3 years ago.

Some kids hate there step parents but everyone I know that has a step parent love them and it makes no difference to them they are a step.

Answer 5

My mom married my step dad when I was 5, and he is like a "real" dad to me in ever respect other than biologically. He raised me as if I were his own, and helps me out as a father would to this day. I always know I can call him if my car breaks down or I am stuck somewhere on the side of the road -- anything.

I love my step dad very much -- even as much as I love my biological father.

When I get married someday, there better be a wide aisle because I will have one dad walking me down on each side.

I hope that helps answer your question. :)

Answer 6

This all depends on if the step parents also have children of their own.. i can only answer that one.. although there is a certain love there like it is there responsibilty, but there is an obvious favortism.. because you are not their own children it is much easier for them to see your short comings before those of their own children.. it can be hard to have step parents, especially as a teen trying to discover who you are as a person.. i know people try to do their best but there is an obvious difference whether intentional or not..

Answer 7

I have mixed emotions about step parents.. I love my step dad to death because he has always been there for me and treated me like I was hes own but my step mom is a different story.. My step mom is mean, sneaky, and does not treat me the same as her own kids.. She has never been there for me when i needed her and its just totally different then my own mom.. My step mom use to do horrible things to us for no reason. I think my step mom is jealous of me and my dad relationship.. I don't really know how to explain it.. I guess you can love your step parents as much as your real parents if they are like my step dad.. He is awesome and has always been there for me whenever i needed him the most..

Answer 8

My best friend i have ben friend in the hole world has step parnets because her parents are deivorced. She seems to get along with them quite well but its tauph some time . She has one brother and a sister form her moms second marriage and gets along with them quite well better then her owen brother . SO the answer to your question is it true that step prents are not loved by there step childeren Its ture in some situation because no body cna replace a chidl parents o trust me you cant but they still love there step parents in some form even ask my best firnd she dose but not all the time

Answer 9

You should specify age at which the person obtains step parents. For me, my parents divorced when I was 21, then my dad remarried shortly thereafter. The lady he married, I did not claim her as my step mother and never refered to her as such, nor did I ever refer to her children as my step brother/sister. I just called her "my dad's wife". Sorry, that might not be very helpful, but the divorce was bitter and he married the woman who he was having affairs with, so that's my situation. My dad died last november though, and I haven't heard much from her since then

Answer 10

I am stepmom of 2. My kids mother is still alive and they have a decent relationship with her, but we have our own very special one too.I have been in their lives for over 7 years and have raised them since they were 4 and 7.My stepson says tht he can not ever imagine life without me and that I am a mom to him and he loves me the same as his biomom. I am very differnt from her, and me and my kids are so much alike. they dont like me calling them steps they just like son and daughter, becasue our rule is that steps are only for walking in the door. Its hard to be a step parent b/c the outside world has no respect for your relationship. I love those kids like they came from me.