When should I start trying to conceive after my daughter was still born not even a month ago.?

Question

I gave birth to Treasure at 27wks on 3/15/07 and she was still born.I was looking forward to being a mother.Her father and I have been talking about trying again.Is it to early and will Treasure feel that her mommy is trying to replace her.She is and will always be my first born.Also,how do I let her know that mommy will never forget about her.

Answer 1

It takes roughly 8 weeks for a woman's body to heal after giving birth, but there is an even greater chance of miscarriage for up to 4 months afterward. If I were you, I'd wait for at least 6 months. This way, your body will be ready to carry another child, and your heart will have time to heal as well. You need to have a chance to grieve for your baby, and if you dont, it will overshadow the joy of having another child because you will always feel that guilt. You will also let your baby girl know how much you loved her by allowing yourself to grieve. You'll feel when the time is right to try again, but for now, take time and heal.

Answer 2

I don't think you're being a control freak. I admit that I tried to plan what month my next one would be born and had very specific reasons why any other month was unacceptable. As to your concern about starting early, I'm currently due in Nov. and the heat of summer has been brutal. Some days I wish I had been due 2 months ago when the heat wasn't as bad... But I also live in Florida so we've had Summer for the last 5 months or so. I hope this helps :)

Answer 3

I lost my first born son at 6 days old to medical malpractice. First & foremost, let your heart heal. You will never emotionally heal completely, as I lost him nearly 8 years ago, every birthday/holiday that passes I cry and my emotions are a mess.
Your reproductive system is ready, but you aren't. I'm not sure if your family held any type of services for her, but if so no need to visit her gravesite, she's with you. Talk to her. Let her know Mommy & Daddy love & miss her. She will not think you have forgotten her when you do have another child. She'll be happy for you & your husband. Yes, if you tried soon, you're emotionally & physically needing a replacement. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. When a woman bears a child for months, makes preparations for the homecoming & something tragic happens... who wouldn't want a baby to hold, to love? It's normal to want ur baby. Give it time. Let your emotions get back on the right track!
I am terribly sorry for your loss & I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

There is no cut and dry answer. Physically you should wait until you have one complete cyle. AFter that if you are emotionally ready, go for it. I had a miscarriage and although emotionally I was ready to try again, it took a few months for my body to be ready. I would do well emotionally until I got my period and then I was a wreck for a few days. The same month my first child was supposed to be born was when I concieved my 2nd child. It has been three years since my miscarriage and I have never forgotten the child I lost. Many people do not consider him a child because I was only 12 weeks, but he was my child. We planted a lilac bush as a sort of memorial to the child we lost. I took the first flower and dried it, hoping to attach it to a poem I plan to write. Having another child is no more replacing her than if you carried her to term and you had a second child. Any hcild is irreplaceble. She will know that you have never forgotten about her because the love you have for her will always be in both your hearts.

Answer 5

Most doctors suggest that you wait at least 3 months before trying to conceive again. Optimally you should wait about a year for your body to heal completely. However, if you feel fine then you can try to conceive at any time. Many women have gotten pregnant with their first post partum cycle and gone on to have a healthy baby.
It also depends on your emotional well being. If you feel ready ect. You need to feel emotionally stable and confident that you can handle the pregnancy and a new baby.
Getting for information about this is the first step in healing and preparing for another pregnancy. Sounds like you could be ready soon.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. Of course there is no way to replace her, and she won't feel like that. I'm sure she looks down on you and her Daddy and want the two of you to be happy because she loves you so much.
I think the best time for the two of you to try again is just as soon as the both of you along with your doctor feel it's time.
Of course she'll always be your first born and will always be special to you.
Just remember, you'll hold her in heaven.
I just love the name you chose for her as well. She really is your Treasure.
God bless you, and best of luck with your second child.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your loss.
I also gave birth to a beautiful boy on Feb 2. He was also stillborn at 36 weeks.
first of all.. your daughter and my son will NEVER be forgotten as long as you keep her in your heart she will always be alive.. when you get pregnant again, it will NEVER be to replace her. they will always have a place in our hearts and will always be part of our families.
when i went to see my doc at 6 weeks postpartum. he told me i could start right away. my body is physically ok, however he wanted me to be emotionally ready. it tooks us more than 3 years to concieve my son and i doubt it will happen soon so my husband and i are already trying.. we started straight away.. it was very emotional the 1st time..
i KNOW it's hard .. it's something niether you or i expected after we were sooo excited , then all the plans got crushed.
but they are little angels and they are in very good hands up in heaven..
i wish you all the luck. and i hope you and I get pregnant VERY SOON. :(

Answer 8

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think as long as the doctor says it is okay physically, you're fine as long as you're up for it psychologically.

When I had my miscarriage, I bought a special box and placed in it the pregnancy test, and a little note that I wrote to my baby. Perhaps you could do something like that, or make a scrapbook of the pregnancy to keep forever. And she knows that mommy loves her and will never ever forget.

Answer 9

I am so sorry for you loss.

First allow yourselves the luxury to grieve for the loss of your Treasure. Give yourselves at least six months. This will allow you to physically recuperate and to emotionally heal.

You will never Replace your precious Treasure. And she knows that. You will not be betraying your love for her but moving on with your life.

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 10

I'm sure that with a pregnancy as advances as yours was, a doctor would suggest a minimum of 6 months to allow your body to heal. And emotionally you may need much longer than that.