My current boyfriend of 3 months now has some anger issues and is definately jealous. He'll get upset sometimes when I mention something about an ex boyfriend, like if an ex will IM me when im at his house. Or if I said I hung out with that ex boyfriend at starbucks.
Now I've only seen the exboyfriend (Mike) once since we broke up, over a year ago. We talk online and its just friendly, nothing sexual whatsoever. But my boyfriend just cant understand that I could be just his friend after we went out.
So one time he found a picture of him on my phone and freaked out. When he does get angry like this, he'll say a bunch of things, just bsing. Like "why dont you go hang out with your new boyfriend". Just little things, but he really feels hurt that I would hang out with Mike. But after he calms down and we finally work things out, he'll cry and be really upset that he took it that far. And promises he wont do it again. Like he gets so emotional. Please help me, Why does he do this?
2007-04-13 06:27:43 · 23 answers · asked by Pookie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it could be that he had a bad experience from his past relationships. Talk to him about it and see what the real reason is.
2007-04-13 06:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Jon 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like deep down you enjoy the drama. How can you build a new relationship when you are spending time with an ex? You are not being realistic. Put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if your new boyfriend had an ex who was IM'ing him and he was seeing her at Starbucks or anywhere else? Why do you need to spend time with your ex? What could you and your ex have to im each other about? Of course he's jealous! You are baiting him. Stop it. That's not nice. You are the one who needs to promise not to set him up. He seems like a man who is in touch with his emotions. You are lucky that he doesn't hide his feelings and find a way to get back at you secretly. If you need to spend so much time with your ex maybe you and your ex should get back together. Stop using that poor new boyfriend as a way to get back at your ex and make him jealous too. Grow up! Sorry for the tough love but hey, someone has to say it. Good luck. Stop playing games. Life will be a better experience for everyone.
2007-04-13 06:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Luch d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because he feels like he has to be jealous...its not easy for a guy to know his girlfriend is hanging out with an ex....if you dated him in the past, it seems, to us anyways, that it would be easy for you to rekindle the old flame. If it really isnt a big deal to hang out with your ex or not, then why do it if its affecting your relationship? If it is that important for you to keep him as a friend, then just be open with your boyfriend about it. Dont let him find pictures on your phone, tell him there is one before he finds it. Tell him before you go to Starbucks, not after the fact. Guys get jealous, its in our nature, and part of me feels like you know what will push his buttons and possibly do it to get a reaction out of him. Let me tell you, the ex boyfriend route is the WRONG way to make him jealous. Most guys wont take a girlfriend intentionally making them jealous for too long, and even if that isnt your goal, it IS whats happening. You are probably going to get a bunch of, "hes crazy, you go girl, he shouldnt be jealous..." crap like that, but let me tell you what, if you dont at least take some serious notice of this situation, your relationship is going to get bad real quick. Obviously your bf cares about you if he gets so upset about his overreacting and getting jealous, so why dont you maybe try sacrficing a relationship with a guy you broke up with over a year ago, have only seen once since, and sometimes IM in order to salvage a new relationship. If it isnt a big deal, tell your bf now, because it seems he has some serious emotion in this and you may not be feeling the same way.
It sounds to me, however, that maybe you still have some interest in this ex boyfriend....could that be correct?
2007-04-13 06:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sean G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If by hanging out with this Ex is messing up your relationship with your current boyfriend then It might be best to cut ties with this ex Boyfriend before you end up adding another Ex to this list, I'm not truly into the whole "Ex's still being close after the relationship is over, not saying you have to be enemies but it's best to end things and the two go there seperate ways, Keeping an Ex in your life while you have another person in your life is going to always bring up problems and agruments. so just explain to this guy that you can't talk to him anymore or hang out with him because it's making your boyfriend uncomfortable, Be considerate of his feelings how would you feel If the shoe was on the other foot and he was hanging out with his Ex Girl and had a pic of her in his phone I'm pretty sure you would flip out, So just try to be understanding and considerate.
2007-04-13 06:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol i experienced that often. If u are wanting to be in a relationship with him avoid contacting ur ex so much. At least until ur relationship is strong. I take it u have had a strong relationship with the other guy. There was a bond there before with that guy. And ur new boyfriend knows that. U guys had a history. These days relationships often dont work, and ur boyfriend knows the risks. It also sounds like he has deep feelings for u. Respect that! Email me if ud like to talk about it further.
2007-04-13 07:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first 3 words in your question title give you your answer. You had better correct him now and lay down the law...change or else lose me!!!! For only 3 months of bf/gf and acting like that?? What do you think it'll be like in 6 months, a year, 5 years?? There's no excuse good enough for him to come up with that would make that kind of behavior alright. And chances are pretty good he might become abusive or obsessive towards you the longer it goes. Fix it now one way or the other and save yourself alot of major drama! Good Luck! G=ME
2007-04-13 06:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by G=ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just the beginning of an abusive relationship. You may not want to or see that it needs to end now, but it does.
Imagine the other situations where he may get angrier and become physically abusive.
Believe me, that's how it started when I was 19 with this psycho guy. He was a huge alcoholic and tried to strangle me and call me all sorts of names because he thought I was out with another guy. That happened probably 5 times before I somehow got rid of him.
He was the most charming guy and my mom liked him more than she liked me.
2007-04-13 06:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
still having contact with your ex is telling the new boyfriend that u still have thoughts/ feelings about the ex and he's just hurt by that and getting mad is the way he chooses to deal with it. Alot of times its best to just let the ex go if u wanna make things work with the new boyfriend.
2007-04-13 06:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by LMS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very insecure and sounds like he likes you very much. Its only been three months so still a fresh relationship and maybe he wonders if you still love your ex and sounds like he is having a hard time with it. Being abusive about it is a concern, is it just insecure or does he have anger issues? How does he react to other stress in his life? Watch for patterns and red flags with this one. If you want to work though it then communication is key and be open and honest with him and let him know you want to work through this and will always be honest with him.
2007-04-13 06:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bebe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mmm, he's quite insecure. He sounds a bit childish, and obviously doesn't know how to deal with his jealousy. Just calmly reassure him that you are only interested in him, that's all you can do. :) Try to spend lots of time with him, because although his trust is a bit wavery at the moment, I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon.
2007-04-13 06:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by SuperVictoria64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's insecure. But let's be honest here, wouldn't you be upset if your boyfriend had a picture of his ex on his cell phone, and was still speaking to her. You haven't completely
closed the door on your ex-boyfriend.
2007-04-13 06:36:00 · answer #11 · answered by mia w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋