Is taking away my sons TV & Video games away a mean thing to do?

Question

Ok my son is actually super good in Math and Reading well he brought his report card home and all his grades were great but Math & Reading he failed, I couldn't believe it, so I took it all away he has nothing in his room, actually I don't even have his TV or Video games in the house anymore (Really put them somewhere far from my home) is this right for me to do this, he is super angry at me, he's even used a few choice words he's 14 its not like I can spank him, he is even taller than I am now and I am 5'8 LOL

Answer 1

The punishment isn't really about the grades -it sounds like you're saying it's the fact that you know he wasn't trying in school. If you slack off in school, or as an adult if you slack off at work, well then there are consequences. And they suck. That's life.

I think you are dead-right. Removing them from the house was wicked smart - keeps him from getting them, keeps you from caving in and giving them back.

If he tries & fails, that's one thing. But if he's slacking off, the natural consequence is bad grades. Then there's an additional consequence of a loss of priveleges. I'm not suprised he's mad - that means you picked the right punishment. But I hope you didn't let him get away with those "choice words". 5'8" or not, don't take any crap. When my kid gets like that, I remind her that my obligation is to provide food, clothes, and a roof - that's it. The bed, the toys, the TV, the shoe collection, etc etc is all ICING. They're all priveleges or perks for being good, basically. And they're all revokable.

You made a good call. Stick with it, and next time he'll think twice I bet. High-five for being a good mom!

Answer 2

Wow. My stepmom went psycho and took away my phone, tv, books, writing, car, leaving the house, having anyone over, computer, EVERYTHING, and that only increased my deep-seated hatred of her. (The only thing she didn't take from me was desserts, which wouldn't be fair anyway because she is quite possibly the fattest woman alive.) Plus, taking away their door is just dumb. That gives them no privacy, which they need at that age. Good job on making your children hate your guts. I would say that since they are 12 and 14, have a moderate bedtime (9:30 to 10 pm for those ages?) where they must get off the phone, computer, and turn off the tv. This will make sure that they get enough sleep and are able to perform at school. You shouldn't ground your children for making a B. That's close enough to an A, still a good grade. Maybe ground them for like 2 weeks for making a C, and a month for a D or F. You should moniter their progress reports online or email their teachers to see how they are doing, and encourage them to do better if they're not doing so well. Taking away EVERYTHING will do no good. It will cause resentment and they'll just find ways to sneak behind your back. I've noticed that kids that are busy with extracurricular activites and friends make better grades than those that don't. Forcing them to sit there and study from the time they get home from school to the time they go to bed won't improve their grades any more than studying frequently will, but after so long they'll get bored and just daydream and just get pissy. If they do something grounding-worthy, be fair and make the punishment fits the crime.

Answer 3

I think it was a good call.
You may also want to set up a meeting with the teacher to get any insight into why your son is failing. Has the subject matter changed? Has the teacher changed?

Then try to open a dialog with your son to find out if there's anything else going on in his life that may have an effect on his grades. Being 14 can be a bit rough. Nevertheless he has to learn how important his grades are and that there are consequences when he doesn't try his best in school.

Susanne Myers
Publisher Of ParentingZoo
http://www.ParentingZoo.com

Answer 4

Try getting him a tutor and motivate him through a challenge. Let him know he can earn his things back and even get a few new games if the grades get back above "C" or better "Bs or As".

We use video games as an award with our young son. He knows homework comes firt and at the end of a week when he has met his weekly goals he can choose to play the games he likes for a limited amount of time.

I'm and avid vidiot and have been since grade school but all things in moderation. You can't waste hours daily in fornt of the dumb dumb box (the TV) and expect to be a scholar. First comes work and then comes reward.

Talk to your son. Tell him what is expected of him and how he can earn his reward back. but always moderate what he does with video games and of course personal time on Internet. You need to be aware of his activities and how he spends his time.

Perhaps also set aside time for his homework with you or in your presence so you can lend a hand when needed. Be a part of your sons life and let him know you want the best for him.

Good luck.

KK

Answer 5

Depends on what the reason for the failing grades are, if it is because he chose to play games and watch tv rather than study, then the punishment fits. If he failed because he is messing around at school, then maybe you should ground him until the next report card. I don't think it sounds like an unreasonable punishment, and if you let him know that you are having second thoughts about it he will no doubt make it worse. Stand your ground. Good luck.

Answer 6

No this is not a mean thing to do. I do it to my boys and it works along with a long talk and enforcing the rules.

I'm 4 feet 9 inches tall. One of my boys is 5 feet 2 in. and the other is only 5 feet exactly and despite the height differences and the gender, they know that I do not give two hoots if they are upset at me for enforcing the laws in the house.

As parents, we have to let them know that we mean business and ensuring that school work and chores are their jobs and not something that they can lightly pass by. I do not allow it and both boys know. And so does the hubby!!!!;)

Answer 7

BRAVO!!! I wish more parents had the guts and common sense that you do. So your kid is mad at you, big deal, as parents we are not supposed to be their 'buddies', we are parents! Taking away TV and video games is not mean, not by a long shot! Does he have a cell phone? I would take that away also, these things are all privileges, not needed in life. I'm sure he is gonna get mad at you many more times in his adolecent life, I think this is just the begining(sorry). This is the same thing I do to my boys (16-11-10), and my 16y.o. is 6'4. You have to do it, you are the PARENT! Please for your sake and your future respect, do not give in to him, make him get those grades back and show you proof, before you even bring them back into the house.
I want to commend you on being a PARENT in these days, where even that could become 'child abuse', the way things are going.
Again, BRAVO to YOU!

Answer 8

Since my children started school a rule was made: No video games during the school week. Otherwise they just fly thru their homework just to play. This keep them focused. If we do still have issues, I have no qualms about taking that crap away FOREVER because I'm the mom and education is more important than playing! You'll have the rest of your life to play!
Be persistant! Don't go back on your punishment otherwise the children will pick that up and over throw you!

Answer 9

Good job! Maybe that is the reason he failed the two subjects! I would also make him bring home his books everynight and study for 1/2 hour in each subject till he can bring his grades back up to at least passing!

Answer 10

I am surprised that you had to remove them from the house. My son is only allowed to play his games on the weekend IF he is doing well in all his classes (I am lucky that the school system here has a website where they post assigments and grades daily)