Let's say you were out at a bar, or some public place, and you ran into an attractive women. You got along well, and exchanged information.
Either through conversation that evening, or on your first date you discover:
1. Although the woman is smart and very ambitious, she doesn't have the best job because she is still finishing her degree.
2. She has a toddler
Would you still want to date her? Would that change your opinion of her from your first impression? Why?
2007-04-13 04:51:23 · 15 answers · asked by prettygirlsmakegraves 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Doesn't Sound Hypothetical.
Honey you're hot and kids are great! Just have faith everything will fall in to place as it should!!
2007-04-13 04:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by *Heather* 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of variables to be considered. The fact that she doesn't have a good job isn't important, however what she is getting her degree in and her plans afterward are. Too many women get degrees in subjects that don't translate into well paying jobs, or don't go into fields that use their degree. It's like they went to college just to go and get a piece of paper. Even so, if she is a wonderful person that can be over looked.
The toddler can be a deal killer depending on the situation. Does the guy want a girlfriend with kids, does he want kids already, does he want that drama at this time in his life. Is she looking for a father for her child? What about the father, is he in the picture and how much? What is her support system like, is she going to give you the time needed to fall in love and be a good girlfriend?
There is nothing wrong with a guy not wanting to date her for the reasons you put forth. He gets that choice, it's his life too. To think bad of him is not fair on your part, nor is it realistic. However I would date her at least long enough to find out.
2007-04-13 12:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been there and done that 3 times. All of them became what we thought would be permanent. Unfortunately they lasted about 5 years each.
These weren't toddlers they were teens. Nine total between the 3 ladies.
So I helped raise teenagers from the time I was 28 till 47.
2007-04-13 12:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by asmikeocsit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see why you put an age limit on this question.
For me personally (I fall at the younger end of the spectrum) I am not so secure financially or emotionally to want to get involved with a single mother. The degree part is less important.
However, if I really liked her, I would try to be friends, but definitely I would not pursue a relationship.
2007-04-13 11:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by stn1225 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 and done with college and have a well established job, and I would still date her. Her still finishing her degree and having a toddler wouldn't change my opinion of her at all
2007-04-13 11:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by Frank K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i definitely would still be intrested in that person, because being a person who's finishing a degree as well, i understand how hard it is to maintain a career as well as school, because i'm doing that now. and as for the child...i love kids anyways...so i wouldnt mind. i want one of my own in a few years. so just as long as she'd be open to that if the relationship went any further then it wouldn't be an issue.
2007-04-13 12:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by anthony v 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course I would still date her and if anything, my opinion of her would go up. Now I not only see a beautiful woman, but I see a hard working woman who is trying to better herself while working hard to raise a child on her own. This shows she is a responsible woman who knows what she wants in life and is willing to work for it.
2007-04-13 11:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The toddler would change my impression as I have no intention of ever having children of my own. I wouldn't look at her as a bad person, just someone that I know I wouldn't be compatible with.
2007-04-13 11:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would still date her. I don't see why not (the toddler detail might make me think but i don't think that's a huge problem). and i don't understand why your point #1 is a negative thing - it actually tells me that she's very smart and ambitious.
may be i am just confused :-).
2007-04-13 11:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. education and trying to get ahead is a good sign.
2. toddler ? if it's real early in the relationship, that toddler
needs to be at least domesticated (not necessarily house
broke), cause little hellions can screw up the whole bit.
Other than that, there's good women available, and some
of them are single mothers -- so ?
2007-04-13 12:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it wouldn't change my opinion. I am 34 male and I would appreciate your honesty and courage for laying all the cards on the table. I think that if we hit it off we would progresss and see where it goes from there.
2007-04-13 11:58:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋