I met a young lady only 2 weeks ago,she is 18 &I am 27.For the first time for me and her,we have felt a REAL connection.We are NOT yet an item due to the fact that its too soon.Well an unexpected "mature" questions has risen.A couple days ago she said we need to talk because she wants to start taking those next steps and do it right.We havent talked about it yet.But here is my concern,last night we went on a wonderful date,and afterwards we had a "differant" talk.She wanted to know what I thought about "us" I answerd then asked the same.She said in metophor,I see us in the middle of an open space(siginfiying life)with you holding my hand and pulling me to your "level" and me missing everything that I am barley starting at my young age.This is deep! she is asking this because she is in great adoration for me as I am but concerned of her well being and wants to do whats right for both of us.Can WE work out if we just communicate about what she may be feeling about her life?Or what to do!
2007-04-13 04:41:09 · 13 answers · asked by Mr Jōkster 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was in this position once...you may seem to connect with her on many levels, but I think what she is trying to say is you are too old for her...and I think she is right. I am sure you have experienced a lot more than she has...she has yet to legally even drink (not to say she hasn't but it's the point that she COUDLN'T legally do it). I think you need to step back and think about what it really is you want out of a relationship and ask her the same. Don't go any further with things until you have been REAL and HONEST with yourself and with her. Then you need to be flat out BLUNT and ask her what it is she is trying to convey to you! I think you will probably find that you don't have as much in common as you think. If nothing else, remain good friends with her. If it is meant to be, it will happen in due time when she is not a vulneralbe teenager, has experienced life and is ready to settle down.
2007-04-13 04:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by Nubian Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really mature of you to be asking this question. Kudos for you for thinking of her needs, and not just your own!
Here is the thing. Maturity levels vary from person to person at different stages in their lives. She may be ready for a serious relationship, and she may not be. The thing is, though, that she is an adult. She is old enough to make her own decisions. There is only one way to find out if you are right for one another, and that is to try. If you like her, then go for it! Take it slow, but go forward. Anything else will suggest you are not really interested, and that could sabotage any hope you two have with one another. That is the only way to know if it will work: try it. It is not like you have to get married right away or even move in together. Date. Spend time together. Talk more. Have a good time. And learn from one another. Above all, keep the lines of communication open. If it doesn't work out, then you can't say you didn't try. If it does, then isn't that wonderful?
If you have questions about her maturity level (or your own), then fine. Discuss it with her. But she is old enough to make her own decisions. If this is such a concern for you, then maybe the problem isn't her. It sounds like you may be uncertain about this relationship, and you might need to ask yourself why. If YOU are not ready to go further then you should break it off now before things go too far.
Good luck!
2007-04-13 04:50:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, actually, I don't think your age can hurt her or you. I have met some people who were younger than most adults I know who responded more maturely than those of an older age.
You guys won't really know what's in store unless you both take the risk and get in a dating relationship if you so chose. Though most people like to think of a dating relationship as a stepping stone into marriage; that is not always the case.
Just because a person is dating doesn't mean a marriage relationship is automatically etched in stone.
On the other hand learning not to expect things to fall in your favor always is a good habit to have, so as not to set yourself up for failures; and when failures do come (because in this life we can't escape them) you will be better prepared to deal with the negative feelings that may arise.
Hope things work out well for the both of you.
2007-04-13 04:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by dymps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. See what her concerns are about what she would be missing at her young age. You are not that old to be able to do whatever it is she wants to, unless she means dating more people before she gets into a serious relationship. Take things slow as you have only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Just have fun for now.
2007-04-13 04:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you communicate the relationship can work. There may be times when she just wants to go out and have fun. You just have to remember that when you were 18-whenever, you wanted to party and go out and have a good time. I'm not saying you don't want to now, but hey! Just keep the communication open.
BTW- Thank GOD someone is finally smart enough to realize that if it's worked on it CAN work...
2007-04-13 04:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you willing to deal with an 18 year old and what they want to do and how they feel and react to things? Can you be patient and understanding about it? If you were 37 and she was 28 I would say no. But a teenager is a teenager even if they are considered an adult. I would think twice about it.
2007-04-13 04:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to a certain extend i agree with most of the comments given but there are 2 areas which I wold like to provide my input;
1) If you truely love a person wholeheartly, does age really matter?? or race or appearence?
2) If you are so conern with her future and do not have the confident of caring for her, lead her in the rite direction and love her enough, why d you still want to lead her on??? Aren't you cruel to make her fall for you??
You know what to do, just do what you know is the best for both of you...Good Luck!
2007-04-13 05:01:03 · answer #7 · answered by R T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the crap obvoiusly she likes you so if ur gonna love her and not use her take her if ur not ready to see her turn 79 before ur eyes and look twice her size in a maternity dress do 1 thing right in ur life let her go get a life
2007-04-13 04:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by ladyluck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont see shame with two people of age like that going out. my paraents are 13 years apart lol. it would only b weird if you were 20 and she was younger than 18 because that can b reported as being a pedophile.
2007-04-13 04:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by Diana C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would make sure she knows how you feel about the agge difference.....then take it from there.....tell her you dont want to move into things to fast...... n that ur ok with the relationship.....but sex and other stuff will have to wait..... see how she sees u guys in the near future
2007-04-13 04:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by Get_in_my_belly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋