Playing House...Girls grow up so fast...While the boys go outside & play?

Question

I get so aggravated that my friend doesn't encourage her daughter to go outside and play like she does her son. They are twins and are four years old. They have a swing set and a big trampoline outside. When the son goes out to play her daughter is talking on her toy phone, and taking care of a baby doll. ONce I went over there and I watch her daughter spend a bright, sunny and warm day in the house playing mommy. She made breakfast for her dolls, dressed them, dresed herself, put on makeup, cleaned with a toy vacuum, washed clothes in a toy washer, etc... and my friend doesn't see anything wrong with it. The way I see it girls usually mature fast anyway, why not encourage her to enjoy her childhood by exploring things other than what mom does all day. Its really not my place but I would not raise my daughter like that. I don't think she is a bad mother but stuff like that bothers me. how do you feel about this?

Answer 1

if that's what the mom does, the child is imitating her. that would explain why she see's nothing wrong with it. is your friend the type that believes girls are girls and boys are boys? i am a firm believer in fresh air and outside play. i also believe that girls should play sports. it promotes self confidance but, if this is your friends idea of right, there is not much you can do about it. you could try inviting them to your house and sending out to play but, that's about it.

Answer 2

If the mother pressures the child to do "girl" things, and that's the only reason she does them, that's not good. But if the mother is doing nothing either way and just allowing both children to play as they wish to play, leave it alone. You don't know that the girl is not as happy as a little clam doing what she does. Most little girls love girly things (it's their nature, no matter what anyone tells you), and when they get a little bigger they usually venture out into the dirt and trees with the boys. But if they never do, there's nothing wrong with that either. Just because she loves dolls doesn't mean she won't grow up to be an astronaut, but if as an adult her heart's desire is to get married and raise babies full-time, it's her business. Any child therapist of any kind will tell you how important it is for their development to be allowed to play as they wish on their own terms whenever possible.

As a mother of two, and with a bunch of other little ones in my huge family, I am a firm believer in allowing children to do their own thing and find their own interests. Pushing a child to do anything that falls into the category of "personal interests" is always a bad idea, believe me - it has come back to haunt many parents. If you ever have kids, you'll find out.

Answer 3

I agree with you 100%.....your friend is not a bad mom @ all......she probably doesn't even realize it
I have 4 boys and 1 girl ..... ages 14-5...
and~ our little girl plays softball, basketball, rides horses, etc.with the boys, but when it gets dark out she has them play dolls and stuff ..... I've just always thought it was important for them to experience a little of both, but don't force anything on them.
If I were you I would buy them a t-ball set (ball or something) take it over and talk the little girl and her mom into playing a game against you and the boy....anything to get her outside.

Answer 4

I have a little boy and a little girl. Growing up I was very outdoorsy, tomboyish, not into "girl" stuff. In college I was very liberal, feminist. Now that I have a little girl...all she wants to do is play with her dolls, feed them, put make-up on, make them dinner................I encourage her to go outside...but she still loves domestic games out there. I don't stop her from anything safe she wants to play. There may be nothing wrong with how your friend is raising her daughter....she just might like the old-fashioned girl stuff.....it doesn't mean she isn't learning.

Answer 5

Relax, it sounds like the little girl IS enjoying her childhood. She spent the morning engaged in imaginative play which is great ...it beats watching tv all morning like many children do. As long as both she and her brother are allowed to choose their activities and are both are allowed to play outside or inside when it suits them then there is no problem. Denying that there are differences in male and female children may be politically correct but it's not biologically correct. Little girls do want to imitate their mothers and engage in more pretend and imaginative play while little boys tend to be more physical. There is nothing really wrong with this as long as she is happy and doesn't feel she can't play outside when she wants to. Don't worry ,it sounds like their mother knows her children best and allows for their differences.

Answer 6

I decided that my two sons needed to play with dolls. I bought them dolls and push chairs. Did they touch them??? Not one bit. I refused to buy them toy guns. They used sticks, lego and vacuum cleaner parts.
Leave the little girl alone. Don't try to impose your own ideas on her. Her mother knows her character well.