"It's YOUR day?"?

Question

What do you think of "it's YOUR day you can do what you want" being used to justify every little thing that a bride wants?

Obviously there are some occasions where this legitimately needs to be said because someone really is taking over a couple's wedding and ruining it on them. But I'm getting tired of seeing every silly, selfish and inane idea a bride throws out being justified by someone saying, "It's YOUR day."

Thoughts?

PS - if you have to ask, YES, IT'S TACKY!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I used to film weddings for a living, and I've seen the good and bad use of that phrase. It's GREAT when the Bride or Groom's mother can't keep their noses out of the planning. The bride can say, "Hey, you had your wedding, this is MY day." However, it can also be used to spoiled women to get exactly what they want, like a Bridal party of 18 people or a rainbow colored wedding cake (yes, I've seen both of them) For those women who are just trying to salvage their right to plan their own wedding, I say, "Go for it!" To the rest of them. Quit whining.

Answer 2

I think a bride should be able to have the wedding she wants, within reason. Unfortunately, many brides don't know the meaning of the word "reason." The grooms rarely care about all the details, they just want to know where to be, when to be there, what they're supposed to be wearing while they're there, and what (if anything) do they get to eat while they're there.

Brides need to be thoughtful of their guests as they're planning. They need to carefully consider timing, they also need to consider the needs of any guests who will be travelling a distance who will be attending the wedding.

They also need to realize that a wedding invitation is just that, an invitation, it's not a summons to appear in court. People don't HAVE to come, and brides need to get over it if someone can't make it, for whatever reason. People do have a life outside this wedding.

Many brides also tend to put waayyy too much emphasis on the wedding day, and so much less on the whole point of it, which is a marriage. Planning a wedding should be, for the most part, fun. If it isn't, you're doing something wrong, because this is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. But it is just 1 day. A marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, but a wedding is 1 day, actually, the wedding is only about 20 minutes or so, unless you're celebrating a Catholic Mass.

Answer 3

I think the whole "It's YOUR day" mentality gives brides carte blanc to go bridezilla on everyone around them. The truth is, it's not just the bride's day, it's the groom's day, as well as all the family and friends who come to celebrate and support the couple. Should the bride get everything she wants? Yes, within reason, and as long as it doesn't embarrass herself or her family and friends, or inconvenience everyone she knows. The truth is, the wedding is ONE day, and if the bride alienates all her friends, she is going to be one lonely married lady after the wedding. Weddings are so hyped up, that I understand how easy it is to get carried away. For example, it's OK to have 5 registries because it's MY DAY, or, the bridesmaids better wear the dress I demand, because it's MY DAY. What makes a perfect bride is one who gets what she wants and is gracious and understanding to all her guests at the same time. Weddings seem to turn mature, intelligent ladies into tantrum-throwing banshees...it's a shame.

Answer 4

I totally agree, it is tacky. Everyone thinks that the groom could care less. Maybe some really feel that way, and maybe some feel as if they have no say in the matter. My husband and I worked together to make every decision about our wedding. The only thing he had no say in was my wedding dress. He was actually more picky that I was. I agree completely that is silly, selfish, and insane to say "well it's my day and this is how I want it... no matter what you say!" I mean come on... are we still three!

Answer 5

Speaking as someone who did not get the wedding of her dreams due to someone else, I think its very important that brides are able to get, within reason, exactly what they want. I would never want a bride to look back at their wedding day sadly like I do. I say within reason because there are always matters of good manners and good taste and if someone breaches etiquette it should be brought to their attention and corrected, but in cases where the bride has one idea and her mother has another, and the wants fall within good taste, I believe the bride has the right to what she chooses since it is after all, her wedding and not the desenting opinions wedding.

Answer 6

I agree 1,000%. Mostly because it's not just one person's day.

Yes, it's a special day for the bride. But it's also a special day for the GROOM, and the families who are celebrating the marriage! So yes, while the bride gets to be the "princess," there ARE other people involved in the day.

Weddings are about family. At the end of the day, let your MIL to be do something, what's the harm? She's happy. You're happy she's happy. Your fiance is happy because his mom and wife to be are getting along. And when that day comes, you are STILL the bride, and everyone will STILL treat you like a princess and it's still going to be fun.

And besides - 99% of the things these bridezilla brats are throwing hissy fits over are things NOT ONE SINGLE SOUL will notice!!

I'm just glad someone else feels this way, too!!

Answer 7

Well, when it comes to things like colors, type of cake, hairstyles, the future in laws being inconsiderate, etc. I'll admit I'm quilty of using the whole "it's your day" thing. However, I know enough about wedding ettiquite to know when to say "no, don't do that.." or "yes, that's a good idea.." when the occasion calls for it. Just because the bride wants her bridesmaids to line dance down the aisle (or something equally ridiculous), doesn't mean she should have it.

Answer 8

Ever considering that i used to be little and til these days I've regularly known as my mum "Mummy" and my dad "Daddy". Just due to the fact that they by no means spoke back to "mum"/"dad". And it is regularly caught, I feel. Same with my siblings, too. I swear each time my mom calls me at paintings, and that i reply pronouncing "hello, mummy", I get essentially the most strangest appears from my paintings colleagues. They regularly discover that hilarious and commonly take the mic. And I can certainly see why it is humorous lol But, it is by no means converted, and I doubt it's going to. Mum and Dad will regularly be Mummy and Daddy. And almost always due to the fact that they may not reply to some thing else from their kids! : )

Answer 9

I agree... although it's your day is really the choice of food and music...... and the color of your bridesmaids dress... it's become this THING were people think they don't have to follow social etiquette and can act like total jackass. I have friend who is driving me nuts because she is eloping and then having a traditional wedding and wants all this attention and a shower... and even a bacholerette party and she'll be married. I made the comment that I didn't think the bacholerette party was appropriate and I got "it's my day, it's my day!!" Well, it's turning into her 6 months at this point.

I mean I have had my battles too.... I insisted that my mother didn't wear black... one because i am very traditional about things like that and two all the men are wearing brown tuxes to match the bridesmaids and it would look terrible.

But most brides are getting out of hand thinking they can demand things or brake social etiquette because it's their day. I even had a fight with a friend of my fiance because they were mad we didn't want to spend $1,200 a person and 4 days vacation time on their wedding!! It was HER day, why were we putting out the money!!??

Answer 10

You have hit the nail on the head with this question. First, the wedding ceremony, sure, have it the way the couple wants it. But the reception is a party and it is about the guests. I don't mind what food is served as long as there is plenty of it. It can be macaroni and cheese, it doesn't have to be filet mignon. But be nice to your guests and be a gracious host. Paper streamers and balloons are not tacky, but treating me like a big checkbook is.

Another thing couples have to realize is, their wedding is extremely crucial to them. To the guests, it is a party to attend for one day, and may involve some inconvenience and expense as well as the good times. Sure, they are happy perhaps to see someone get married....

But, your wedding is not nearly as important to anyone else, as it is to you!!!