And I'm not panicking. We just buy the stuff (the strollers and the books and whatever), and go to the doctor, and all of that. But I'm a grumpy old man: I'm not panicking, or anything. I'm just not geting worried, or anything. But I'm also not going to baby stores and buy outfits or cribs or bassinets or anything.
Am I doing this wrong?
2007-04-12 19:25:00 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I mean, should I be obsessing about something? 'Cause I'm not. I'm not reading "pregnancy" magazines, or redecorating the bedroom, or anything. Does that make me weird?
2007-04-12 19:32:27 · update #1
Heehee, honestly, you just sound like a soon-to-be father. Mother's tend to get more into the 'baby spirit' than men do. Usually men have to actually see the baby first. With my daughter, her Daddy was the same way. But once she was born, he had tears in his eyes, it really was beautiful. Now she's Daddy's little girl :)
Congrats and good luck!
2007-04-12 19:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by ~Anna~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not quite sure what the specific question you're asking.
You did say " I'm 49...Will be a father for the first time...I'm not panicking...but...I'm a grumpy old man...I'm not panicking or anything...not worried . . . "
You used the phrase " not panicking " twice...said you're not worried . . .
Excuse me for saying this...yet it DOES sound that you ARE panicking and are worried at being a father at the age of 49....and for the first time too.
I'm 50 myself...have three kids...ages 14, 17, 20 . . . most people our age have their kids up and out of the house or close to it as mine are. You are just stepping into this...and for the next 18 years.
Embrace that...know that...express what you are really feeling...be fine with that...then . . . turn back towards your wife and (soon to be born) baby and walk your soul journeys path...this is yours...and it's right...as it is what it is. It may be different from others...but it's yours.
My suggestion...find your wife or other that seems right for this and CLEARLY COMMUNICATE what you are really feeling.
You wrote the words. . . Panicking...just...grumpy...panicking...worried...
I'm not any type of " doctor "...actually simply have a high school degree....Yet, I seemed to read something between the lines in your question.
If I'm off base about this...I apologize. . . Yet, I'm simply expressing what I seem to ' read ' in your posed question.
Peace to you.
And...JOY to you, your wife and precious baby.
.
.
2007-04-13 02:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by onelight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're fine. Most fathers-to-be don't start getting the baby jitters until the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. Anyway, it sounds like you're doing all the preparation stuff you need to.
You'll have a crib by the time you need one, I'm sure. Even if that mean buying and assembling it the day after the baby is born, while mommy is still in the hospital.
I was concerned that I wasn't a total basket case for my first baby and I was the mother (I was almost 38). She's turned out fine so far (starts kindergarten this fall).
2007-04-20 18:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by sdc_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds totally and completely normal!
1. There are still several months to go before the baby comes, so there's no need to rush about buying clothes, etc.
2. Women are much more in to the clothes, decorations, details than men are... at least, in my experience.
3. Most men hold their infants like they're going to break... and keep doing that until the baby hits about 3 months and starts to smile and respond to dad. At that point, most dads really get into their babies.
You're not doing it wrong... you're doing great! Just don't be afraid to dive into the whole "Dad" thing... no shame in milking every minute for what it's worth...
That said.... if the mom is starting get antsy about having "stuff"... endulge her if you can. This is her chance to make a "home" for this little baby she already loves. It won't hurt to smile a little... tag along on a short shopping trip.. and understand her need to "nest"
2007-04-13 02:36:19 · answer #4 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't carrying the baby and feeling it grow inside you. That is a special bond between mother and baby. The fact that you may not be real excited at this time is normal. Once you see the baby, everything will change. You never feel more love than you do for a life that you created with someone else and the love will overwhelm you. Might even overwhelm the grumpiness!!
2007-04-13 02:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're weird. You actuall made me laugh, because when I was expecting my little girl, I was just like you. And I'm the mother!!! I was happy she was comming and all, but I just went about things as usual. I didn't even buy anything for her till my 8th month, because my hubby was bugging me. I would dread going to walmart, cause he'd always drag me to the baby section, or bring the wholdamn section to me it the cereal isle for me to gush over. Which I didn't! It amazed me how much crap he could find for the baby, that she didn't need. Anyway I picked up the basics to bring her home that day and good thing I did, cause she came 2 days later. I just don't get all excited much. I felt bad too but got over it. Since she made her debut, she's been my little angel, even when she writes on the wall or takes off her pamper to show me what's in it. Relax you'll be fine, don't worry about not worrying, cause that'll get you no where.
2007-04-13 02:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by yani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not about you anymore so please take part in the total birth of the child. The life of a child begins far before it gets here that way if you plan to be a real father then you can later tell the child stories about how all of this came about but if you're not there then what can you say?-----NOTHING which is the type of father you will be if you don't become active now. Hope that wasn't too harsh for you, truth is fair.
2007-04-13 02:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by ru4rael 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think your wife or girlfriend would be happier if you helped her with some of the nursery planning and furniture shopping.
i'm 28, and I'm pregnant with my first child. my husband is the same age as me, and he is more nervous about the baby than I am. He is more worried about where he'll have to move his computer than what kind of furniture we'll have or what color to paint the walls. I'm expecting I'll have to get more support from my mom with all these decisions. And it scares me a little that he really isn't as into this as I thought he was.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty at all. some things, such as buying the clothes and blankets really are girly things, and you'll probably get a lot of these as gifts at the shower. which by the way you are not expected to attend, just to ease your mind.
i'm not due till november myself.
good luck.
2007-04-13 02:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by georgiegirl422 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the fact that u said u arent panicking or worried more than once shows that u might be a little panicky...
as for the grumpy thing... maybe with other kids, but when their yours things can change. id say put aside ur grumpiness and just start on a clean slate with the lil one. ull be surprised by how amazingly endearing kids can be... and how much a pain in the rear they are... but hey we love em' anyways.
just give ur child ur UNCONDITIONAL love... to the best of your abilities.
oh and congradulations =]
2007-04-13 02:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by bretard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds quite familiar to me.. My husband didn't read anything about baby/pregnancy. There's no decoration to welcome baby. He was excited about having baby but not obsessed about it. He bought all the important stuffs like bassinet, car seat and clothes. But after our baby was born he is the one who keeps on buying stuffs for him. And he reads baby magazine too. Don't worry, you'll be spoiling him soon. Congratulations.
2007-04-13 02:46:38 · answer #10 · answered by atm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋