My wife left four years ago, but she doesn't want a divorce. Should i give up hope?

Question

We seem to get along better now than we had, but i've moved quite a distance away in recent months to find better employment opportunities and her job will keep her where she's living now.

Answer 1

You need to either make up or break up. No one - neither you or your wife - can ever have their cake and eat it too. Don't let convenience be the factor to "just stay married". What if either of you happens to meet someone else? How do you think the other would react? What about that potential new person?

Answer 2

I want to phrase this as kindly as possible, but my friend what are you hoping for? After 4years it seems to me that you are holding on to a dream of what might have been, you know , the white picket fence, 2 kids and a dog! Is she still on your insurance, do you still pay some of the bills, do you still have joint credit ? These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself. To be honest, and having seen my son go through a similar situation, she did not necessary want him 24/7 but the thought of him having a life without her made her nuts and she too would not sign the papers. It is normal that you get along better now, you are living miles apart! I would guess that if you spent a week together the old garbage would come back. Do yourself and her a favor, file the papers, post it in the newspaper(if there is not property, children involved) and if she does not respond, complete the divorce. As long as you keep hanging on to that string, you will never have a new life, which you deserve..There is a whole world out there waiting for you, take off the rose colored glasses and take a good look, I think you will like what you see. Good luck to you, you will be fine, hardest part is letting the ink hit the paper..
OM
Kathy

Answer 3

If she doesn't want a divorce than that means she's still hanging on to something. I'd say there's hope! She's probably comfortable at the same time, because you two are getting along better. Is there anyway that you two can get a long together if you both gave it a shot? What caused your seperation? Is it something that can be fixed? Was it really worth the split? Ask yourself these things and then maybe ask her too. Maybe it can still work if you BOTH put effort in it! That's the only way a marriage can last! I wish you lots of luck! I hate seeing people that are hurting when they cant be close to their spouse. Don't ever give up hope on something that's worth fighting for!!!

Answer 4

Well... you really need to communicate with her......
There must be a reason why she does not want the divorce.
Whether is for selfish reason or genuinely expecting you to do something for her ....
Most law states that if you guys are separeted for a number of years, the other party can ask for divorce with NO contest at all.
So you have the choice to communicate with her and then decide to move on in life...
Don't waste time expecting and hoping while the years just drifted away.... for all you know...another years may have passed and you may have lost good marraige opportunity..

take care..

Answer 5

The marriage is over. There are many reasons why a woman would not divorce her estranged husband. I know of 2 who won't and it is not because they still love them. It is for money reasons (they will get his social security when he dies).

It has been 4 years now. You each have your own lives. Get a divorce. Serve her the divorce papers. That way you can legally find another woman to love and keep.

Answer 6

You can tell none of these people have ever been married. What they don't know is married people still mess around and keep feelings going. Which is what your wife has done with you. She gives you a work out every now and then to keep hope alive for you. Because if no one else is in the picture, she can get whatever she wants and she doesn't have to want you to get it. You deserve better. Ask her straight up what she plans to do and then you decide what you're going to do. Life is too short. Live it.

Answer 7

dude are you serious. when a person leaves it usually means they no longer want to be w/YOU.she just wants the benefits of being married but not the marriage itself. you've moved so now you have the opportunity to meet that wonderful someone whao has been waiting for you. i say have your lawyer draw up the divorce papers and serve her. who knows who she has been sleeping with at this point. but don't start seeing people until your divorce is final it is still cheating. i hope you find someone who rtuly loves you and not the selfish chick you have now. the best revenge is to find a new love and happiness. she'll regret ever leaving.

Answer 8

What hope do you have after 4 years? If she had wanted you back I would think in the 4 years she would have done it. We can hold on to hope, but in reality it only makes it worse for us because we hold on to something that will never be, which doesn't allow us to move on with our life. You need to let go and live.

Answer 9

Your wife left you, but why did she leave?

If she has been gone for 4 years now and hasn't made any effort to try to repair the marriage, don't you think that she is not serious enough to stay married to you?

She left you and if she really wanted to stay with you, she would have done anything to come back to you even though if it jeopardizes her job. Anotherwards, if she still loved you, she would be there with you.

Answer 10

Wow that's crazy. You talk her this isn't right if you are married you are suppose to live together and all that kind of stuff. It sounds like she wants to be single. Talk her thats all I can say. I mean if she left 4 years ago Im assuming she doesnt want to be with you but I dont know.