My hubsand has been cheating online (through email, AIM and most recently through our shared MySpace, which is how I found out) with a woman friend of his from his hometown. He's currently in Iraq and am not sure if I should confront him through email, wait until he calls, or wait five months until he comes home. I have already confronted the "other woman" and she denied it at first, then told me it was all "just a joke." Well, I'm not laughing. How should I confront my husband? And is there anything else I should say to the "other woman" other than it needs to stop and I don't want her to contact my husband ever again?
2007-04-12 17:15:54 · 23 answers · asked by J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For clarification, his online cheating consisted of many very detailed conversations about having sex with this "other woman" and intentionally hiding it from me.
2007-04-12 17:30:07 · update #1
Don't embarass yourself with the other woman. Your problem is with YOUR husband, he is married and should know better. But please don't lay this on him while in Iraq, he needs to stay focused. Wait till he comes home and in the mean time, do anything to take your mind off of it. It could be very innocent. If you had a shared account, he knew you could find it? He wouldn't be that dumb would he?
2007-04-12 17:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wait until he calls then you need to confront him. You have the proof what your husband really is like and i think he needs to know you are not going to sit back and continue being his fool. As for the other woman just tell her your not stupid and if she ever emails your hubby again you are telling HER husband about the emails that should nip that in the bud. If your hubby continues to deny it even after all the proof you have i would get a divorce. Hope you find someone that will always be faithful to you and love you the way you deserve to be treated you don't need a cheating dog.
2007-04-12 18:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did he do? Did he fondle the cord or something? Does your husband love you? Do you love your husband? Have you had any discussion with him or given him a chance to unload his guilt or innocents? What is marriage coming to? You want to know how to confront your husband, he is your husband and you have a piece of paper that says you have the right to ask him anything. Just ask him, he will probably be embarrassed and probably a bit surprised you know about it, but I am sure you will also find out that he loves you and that he is very sorry for his behavior. This is not funny and the other woman needs to know that you will prosecute her for interfering in your marriage, and your husband needs to know that you are strong enough woman to fight for what is rightfully yours. Hang in there and don't get bitter, get satisfaction. Good luck.
2007-04-12 17:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boys over there have access to computers and they are talking to a lot of women.I myself have been talking to a couple of guys that are in Iraq but it's innocent talk.I'm married and anything I write my husband can read. About your husband you don't need to confront him at all because you better believe she got right on her computer and told him what you just did.That other woman is a despicable low life
of human waste and she should be dealt with severely. These women need to no if you play with a married men you will get left behind with a broken heart and wondering what happen. I no you are really hurt by this but by you knowing
about it,it isn't going to happen because, A - he knows you are going to be watching him like a hawk when he comes home, B - It's only fun when you sneak around and you took that away from him and C - Knowing that he has hurt you,he will do anything to make it up to you.
About the other woman she will do anything to keep this going so watch out for her because it's obvious she wants your husband. Good Luck !!
2007-04-12 19:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront him, most likely,she has probably already told him, and if not, then he doesn't need to know you know until he comes home. Confronting him could put his comrades lives in jeopardy. Print and keep the emails, you might need them for divorce. I wouldn't say anything else to the other woman, it would probably only make her "taunt" you more through her emails to him. I wouldn't be laughing either, however, it's not physical and maybe you can still work it out. I don't condone his behavior, but maybe he fears not coming back alive and is subconsciously trying to lessen your feelings for him just in case. I'm sorry you are going through this. God bless you.
2007-04-12 17:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by nursegrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all be a big girl and don't go broadcasting your business across myspace. As hot as you are about this, let it lie low until he comes home. This woman cannot put her hands on him, but in five months you can. This is serious and she be taken as such. Start communicating with him more and act as if nothing is wrong. Don't contact her again, she's loving making you feel hurt. Be the big girl in this and everything wil be okay in the end.
2007-04-12 17:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by specialkforever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that Iraq is a lonely place for those guys. There are numerous things that could be going on. It could be that he just wants to keep in touch but figured that you would be upset about him just talking to someone. (not sure what all was said on the messages between the 2) It could be that since he did some talking with her on your joint account that he wanted you to catch him. Whatever is going on here should be between you and him and not her honestly. You and him are in the relationship togethor and so he is the one you should be chastising even though she is in the wrong also. If I were you I'd confront him over the phone so that you can actually here if he is truly sorry about it b/c of the fact that he could be trying to get you mad at him. Good luck
2007-04-12 17:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by D M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he comes home because u will feel bad if u guys r fighting and something happens. also what if he just avoids u for a while becuase of the distance cause he doesnt know how to deal with it. and you wont be able to see him face to face and guage wether or not he is lying to you or not. BESIDES if you let him know u r onto him he will change his patterns and you wont be able to gather more evidence!! ( which she might have already told him so u might have alaready screwd up this ) think fast, act slow SLOW
2007-04-12 18:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by lady26 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other woman pretty much doesn't matter. Its your husband you need to deal with. Does it sound like it could just be a joke? It really depends on what they say. If its not sexual at all, but just friendly then be very afraid of her trying to take him away from you, she hasn't done it yet, so just talk to him about it over the phone, and you have to act fast because things between them could escalate quickly. You don't want him enjoying their conversations more than yours. Tell him the truth, that you just feel uncomfortable about it and that your relationship depends on him not talking to her anymore. It will be very hard to check if he does or not so i guess you should try to make her feel guilty about it. Don't scream at her, be nice, and tell her about the kids if any, if no kids then dump him if you suspect foul play. If you have young or teen kids then you really have to try to work it out.
Since you talked to her already, he probably already knows that you found out. He waiting for you to blow up at him. Dont scream at him, crying/being really sad/dissapointed works best. When you talk to him over the phone try to get him to ask you whats wrong by acting sad and quiet.
Hard to answer this question without knowing the details of their convo. Good luck!!
2007-04-12 17:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already told the other woman that you knew what was going on, chances are she probably let your husband in on it as well.
Your husband was probably glad to hear from old friends and maybe their conversations got a little out of hand, but talking dirty isn't intercourse either.
I wouldn't say anything more to the woman, unless you find more email. And then tell her to cease and desist with that crap to your husband.
2007-04-12 17:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ella 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would wait till he gets home so that you can confront him face to face. As to the other woman you have said enough...after all, you aren't married to her and although you don't like her part in all this, it is your husband that has shown a lack of respect to you given he is suppose to be in love with you and upholding marriage vows. Now all that said you need to realize that cheating within the heart is still cheating, it still, in degree, isn't as bad as actually committing adultery. So when your husband comes home I would be careful not to over react but instead to try and get him to open up as to what has gone wrong in your marriage for him to go on line to fulfill something that he isn't getting at home...whatever it might be....emotionally, intellectually,physically ...etc
And I do wish you well
2007-04-12 17:27:57 · answer #11 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋