2007-04-12 17:10:00 · 18 answers · asked by Loyanne 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Sweetheart, I am so sorry this happened to you. I know it has to be heartbreaking.
Nothing "Makes" a man gay. They are born this way. It not a dicision. It is not a choice. Nothing you did or anyone did caused him to be gay.
You are lucky to find out now. Many gay people try to "fit" in with what others think they should be or how they should live. Only to be miserable. I have a friend who lived for years in a marriage. His wife knew he was bisexual when they married. After years of living his marriage he realized he was not happy and wanted out to explore his attraction to men. He now is in a committed relationship and on very good terms with his exwife and very close to his children. However just think of the years he was unhappy and how unhappy he made his wife. The best thing out of his relationship is his children.
My son is gay. He was born that way. At one point he was engaged to young woman. They did breakup before he came out to his family. Not because he was gay for other reasons. But I am so thankful that he didn't marry this woman and try to live his life as a "normal" heterosexual. Because he isn't he is gay and he is happy.
Work through your pain and grief. Then get on with your life. And be thankful you found out now and if you really care for this man that he has acknowledged the real he and wish him a good life.
Good luck
2007-04-12 17:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that your boyfriend turned out gay. It might have been something that he had been struggling with for a long time but didn't know what was going on. There is nothing really that just completely triggers a guy to wake up and say "Hey! I think I'll turn gay today!"
2007-04-13 00:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mo L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're born this way.
Don't be too sad, it would've hurt way more if you were married for 20 years then he dropped the bomb, or if he just cheated on you with a string of men. Lots of men cannot accept their sexuality, and they go through the heterosexual motions, but end up having affairs or coming out during their midlife crisis.
Just because he's out to you now doesn't mean you can't be friends still. Be there for him, this must be really tough for him as well.
2007-04-13 10:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by Luis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe they are born this way. It isn't the mother or father's fault. There is still so much scandal in someone admitting they are gay, so people hide it for many years. Some come out only because they can't take the stress of hiding it anymore. Be thankful he revealed his true nature before you guys went the marriage route. You will survive and move on after healing.
2007-04-13 00:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by BellaDonna 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
nothing makes a man gay they are born that way, however he may have finally come to terms with it and this could be for a number of reasons including finding a man he's in love with or just deciding it was time to come out
i wish you the best in learning to be OK with this and finding someone else you can love just as much... even more perhaps.
hope you find someone who's worth having you :)
2007-04-13 00:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's biological, hun, sorry to be the one to break the news.
But don't let it get you down; it is impossible to "make" someone gay, and it's absolutely no reflection on you. I was 18 before I was sure; I have friends who've known they were totally straight (or gay) before they'd even finished puberty. And other friends, older than me, who still don't know. For each individual person it is a path that will take a specific amount of time, and that time varies for each person.
I know it's not easy, but the best thing you can do is just move on.
2007-04-13 00:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by living_in_a_bell_jar 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
it's ok to feel this way. heartbroken and confused. but you can't "make" yourself gay and men can't "become" gay; they just are. deal with it.
2007-04-13 00:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's only homosexual than you have a problem, if he's bi you could try to sort things out. Many things make a man become homosexual, such as suffered sexual abuse during a point of his life, or maybe woman do not satisfy him anymore and he is looking for new things now.
2007-04-13 00:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by DJDJ 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Birth, I really feel for you too, it's screwed how so many guy's not only can't be honest with them selves but with others too, so until they find them selves they hurt a lot of people along the way.
2007-04-13 00:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
They are born that way, and just don't accept it for a while. Get over him, there are lots of others out there.
2007-04-13 00:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋