Here is the conclusion of my essay about global warming.
The future of earth's climate is in the hands of humans.It seems that our influence on earth's climate balance will only lead to our destruction. Taking simple measures we, as inhabitants of this planet, cannot allow rising of temperature change the fate of the future's generations. We must change our views completely. We have to start thinking and take action to save something that is crucial to our existence. We have only one Earth, one chance.
What do you think about my conclusion? Is 6 sentence okay?
2007-04-12 17:03:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
can you corrct me if I'mm wrong?
2007-04-12 17:15:55 · update #1
How should I correc the sentence 3?
2007-04-12 17:20:46 · update #2
Overall, very well done.
I would change your 3rd sentence to this:
"Taking simple measures, we, as inhabitants of this planet, cannot allow the rising of temperatures to change the fate of future generations.
Other than that, Sentences 4, 5, and 6 all start with "We". Maybe try to change that up.
Very well done.
2007-04-12 17:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by justordinary_2006 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's cool, you made it sound a little dramatic, which can incite a good response from the reader. Your conclusion is more or less okay, but I edited it a little:
The future of earth's climate is in the hands of humans. It seems that our influence on earth's climate balance will only lead to our destruction. Unless we, as inhabitants of this planet, take simple measures to prevent it, we would be allowing the rising temperature change to alter the fate of future generations. We must make the conscious effort to change our views completely. We have to start thinking and take action to save something that is crucial to our existence. We have only one Earth, one chance.
2007-04-12 17:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not the number of sentences, but what you say in them. I think its very well written while being concise and well thought out.
I do have a thought for you tho. Along with humans being the partial cause and hopeful cure of global warming, the earth is also subject to cycles of temperature shifts. It could also be that, through the millenia, that the earth is warming partially on its own. The other part, humans, can be speeding up the warming process. But that's my contemplation on the subject based on what I've learned.
I'd like to read the whole essay you wrote! I hope you get an A!
2007-04-12 17:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Moon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. I would rewrite some sentences, but a decent conclusion.
We would have to see the whole paper to know if your conclusion fits it well, but it seems acceptable.
Points that you might consider in the paper
If we force companies to institute better pollution prevention, why wouldn't these companies just move their operations to countries where they are allowed to pollute freely? How do we get the WHOLE world to follow in these steps? If we are one of the few countries that does take action, how will that hurt our economy by increasing the cost of business (and therefore products) in the U.S.?
Just some thoughts to take into consideration.
Not a bad conclusion though.
2007-04-12 17:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by Ray M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Six sentences in a conclusion is good. Sentence number three reminds us that there are measures we can take, but they're not mentioned. That's not good because you then want us to change our views completely from what to what?
2007-04-12 17:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by jelesais2000 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's good unless this is a fact only essay. This is true but it would be viewed as opinion. Unless, you can reference it!
Last sentence is good. Maybe
Our earth is precious, let's preserve it. (and strive for perfection) you can add that!
2007-04-12 17:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by pittgradgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was taught that you should never use
I/We/They
its more like "one should consider..."
or "Its in the hands of people" and stuff
Well heres how to check your Conclusion(answer the questions):
So you basically talked about?
So what?
So why should I care?
If your conclusion can answers those questions, its alright
2007-04-12 17:13:40 · answer #7 · answered by Nohaymanana 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The third sentence doesn't read right. There's a word or two missing.
2007-04-12 17:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by HoneyBunny 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds great!
2007-04-12 17:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by simply_unique 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋