When I feel im getting close to anyone or begin to need them or if they try to know me [properly] I freak out and run and dont return for months,years,forever etc.
I dont like to need anyone.
I really have no idea what im running away from?
2007-04-12 14:21:52 · 15 answers · asked by rusalka 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There is a difference between needing somebody and being emotionally dependent upon somebody. You have been unable to determine the difference between those two. It's okay to need somebody, in fact, we as humans need one another. To become emotionally dependent on somebody else is a different story. The reason why you chose to turn and run the other way at a certain point is because you're afraid of revealing your weakness to that person. You may also feel like you aren't good enough to be happy in a relationship, or that you may end up hurting the person you care about and chose to end it before it even starts. All of these reasons are only excuses that your mind is telling you, but what you're really scared of is rejection. You would rather end things soon enough so that the other person is unable to ever see your vulnerability. It's always easier to stop something yourself then live with the possibility that somebody else has rejected you. Until you are able to determine the difference of needing somebody and depending on somebody then stay away from relationships. Find some self help books and figure out why your self value is so low.
2007-04-12 14:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by wize1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have been hurt. It made you stop trusting people and prevents you from getting close. It may be perfectly justified based on your past experiences. But it is no way to go through life so changes are in order. Hard changes. Why haven't you been in group therapy? That is the ideal environment for you right now. You have to find a group where you can let your feelings out and experience a connection to others. If you were here, I would love to talk to you for hours. I know you hate to hear it, but you are going to have to bury those bad times when you misplaced your trust or had none, and let some safe people in life re-educate you and help you learn what trusting feels like and how to function. Get some inexpensive group therapy please. And if you don't like your therapist, find another one. There are many. I will remember you, Honey. Good luck and love.
2007-04-12 21:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same exact way. I wish i could help but, i don't know how! I think there are pretty much two kinds of people in the world. Those who are needy, and those who run away from the need of anything. The thing I have found that works is to make it clear to the people i care about that i love them, but i need to be alone ALOT, and i don't want to be bothered sometimes. There are those who understand and are okay with it...and there are those who take it personal and run away, like we are all so good at doing when something gets tough. Just hang in there, :] Good luck!
2007-04-12 21:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by Seduce A Stranger :] 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, take a moment to learn about yourself. Some sources are listed. Reflect and then act based on what you learn.
The Enneagram and/or Myers-Briggs (based on Carl Jung's work) is a good place to start.
2007-04-12 21:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by playaymar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its because your afarid of getting your heaart broken, you don't want to get in too deep with someone because they might leave you out in the cold. You need to remeber that you will be left out in the cold sometimes, but its only to make you smarter. Don't be afarid of someone leaving you, because if you are you will never fing the right person for you
2007-04-12 21:25:55 · answer #5 · answered by barnell a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel there may be things you don't like about yourself that you don't want others to discover OR you find that those you become close to actually begin to mirror you and aspects of yourself that you prefer not to acknowledge?
2007-04-12 21:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by americansneedtowakeup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it. You don't like to need. that would go against self sufficiency and you may have just got close enough to know that when you really need someone they will be there for you.
2007-04-12 21:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are running from commitment, either serious or just friends. You are afraid of being hurt and dumped. Do yourself a favor, make at least one close friend......
2007-04-12 21:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been the same way all my life...don't worry about it....i don't look at it like running from anything....you may be an introvert who loves your world just the way it is....an independent spirit.....you are not dependent and are in a powerfull position to choose someone if you wish...the ball is in your court and you are in control of your life..nothing to fear..
2007-04-12 21:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Summer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Running from intimacy, the feeling of being trapped, the uncomftavleness of being loved and not believing it, and fearing the worst, the fear of having babies, etc.
2007-04-12 21:30:25 · answer #10 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋