about step children?

Question

how many of your have been torn apart by step children.. that the ex has poision their mind against you..and it has ended badly.. how old did where they when it started///,.. my.. opps his kids.. kids 5 amd 6// but she is so bad i told him he had to go to his parents and stay there the week end when he had them//the calls and the letters was more than i could bare.. plus she said she was having our house watched when they were over//

iam i unreasonbily .. should i let her watch my house

these kids where babies when she brought a new man into the picture .. one who could not speak english and she could not speak his langauge..she dont want them, here and when we have them every time she calls to complaim about something.. my nerves are wreck 3 days before we get them and 4 days after

ok thing is were not married AND him and her were were never eighter//so she has 100% percent in say what the kids do and she loves it

sadly for him he is self centered and claims that he is not marriage mattraiels

sorry spelling is bad

but the thiing is u think we are ,,,married are but we are not....i listent to him for 2 yrs talking about blood and not being relating...so me and my last ex she is ,,my child..with hm i z?????

meaning i have a step child from my ex

Answer 1

My ex told lies to my step children which in return caused them to hate me. We had a good relationship until he did this. They were 7,9,11,14 at the time. They believed Daddy because they are very loyal to him. Now he will not let me see them, even if they wanted to, it breaks my heart that the children was involved into this mess. I think it is abuse when someone lies to a child and turns them against someone who treated them good and love them. He told them I tried to kill him and of course they believed it and is very scared of me.

Answer 2

The only details you go into revolve around the ex making phone calls and watching the house. You haven't said if the kids are misbehaving or acting completely out of line. At 5 and 6, the kids are still young enough that their Dad and you should be able to quickly show them support, caring, loving atmosphere. The 'stuff' they might carry with them from biomom should not last the entire weekend. What bugs you is the harrasment from the ex, and it's really sad that you are making the kids pay for their mom's actions by kicking them out of your house. Think about it....is this man really worth all the heartache? His relationship with his children should be much more important than his relationship with you, and you should feel the same way.

Answer 3

Gosh, you really are upset.. That ex is crazy.
Let's see what we can do about it.
If I were you, I would first talk to my husband and tell him to speak
with her about what is going on and she has to put a stop to it.
It's so wonderful, how you slipped and ...my/oops his kids.
You do have feeling for the children..they are young, so it's going to take awhile....However, again your husband should,make him
get involved and tell the kids how much he loves you, and of course tell the kids how much you both love them.
I know, the ex has poisioned their mind....little by little, when they are around you.....going to be hard...but smile.......they will come around.
She does not care and wants to ruin your marriage...she is doing
a good job of it.....You sent him to his parents for the weekend when he had the children.....I can just imagin how happy she was.
Tell your husband you are sorry for doing that, and as you said...
you just can not take it anymore.....and you will not.
Get a restraining order again her.......no more calls, no more letters, no more saying she is having your house watched.
Honestly.....go to the police and just telll them and fill out the order.
She will not get into any trouble....however when the restraiting order is issued to her......and she voliates it....she could go to Jail.
She is certainly causing so much stress, and you want her to leave you and your husband alone, also when the children are there. You deserve to be happy with you husband and stepchildren. They will come around, believe me...especially because they are so young. Older stepchlldren, it takes a while sometimes.
Go for it!!!! Restraining Order!!!
easiest and best way.
Hope to hear from you, and how everything is going.

Answer 4

its called intimadation and you are falling for it. Dont play the stupid games. When the children are over just enjoy them and dont play the games because the ones that get damaged are the kids. Enjoy them when they are kids because this situation do affect them. I have two boys and I was married to there father for 16 abusive years and now they are 19 and 21. The 21 year old is in drug rehab in New Brunswick and both the boys have trouble with relationships so please dont let the children suffer.

Answer 5

Yes I went through this. However the kids were not this young. The youngest was 8, but their mother did try to poison their minds against me, but it did not work, they were able to make up their minds for themselves. Sure there was apprehension in the beginning, but as they got to know me and know that I was not what their mother had proclaimed me to be then everything was OK.

It seems to me that the mother is jealous and afraid that the children will like you more than her.....yes this will happen....because basically as a step parent you have absolutely no right to correct them....you can stop fights, but no harsh stuff....this is where it gets good and the kids will learn to love you.....you get to be their friend their martyr so to speak. You can be the creative one...the one who is responsible for all the fun...yes when the mother finds out that you are being good to them and they are having fun....you better believe she is going to be one POed mama. It is up to your husband as to whether or not to take the phone calls from her. He needs to tell her that the children are fine and would appreciate if she would just leave them b while they are with him. You may have to go as far as making note of every phone call and possible record it in case you have to go to court over this. There is just no need in your nerves getting tore up over this....you are giving her exactly what she wants....and that is to control your marriage and or break it up. he is going to have to take a stand against her...but he does not need to be hateful or yell.....so that he looks good...he needs to record it for future reference and use a calm voice. But you do have the right to have the kids without her harrassing her everytime they are there several times a day...actually that is harrassment. But do not allow her to do this to you....you tell your husband that he needs to put a stop to it, but don't let her do it....you just be the kids friends, and go out and have a good time with them....they will eventually make up their own minds.

Answer 6

you know something , put yourself in the child's place for just a second , they are made to lose their parent , and accept this new person , and come on do you think they want to , no it's shoved down their throat with no choice . what they really want is their parents to be together and that's what any child wants . its really the children that gets effected the most by this thing

Answer 7

If you want to be with a man who has children, you will have to accept them into your life. Their mother is a part of their lives. You didn't choose her, your husband or boyfriend did. Now if you want to be with him, they are a part of the package.