how does this action script sound??? be honets would u see it if you saw the trailer?

Question

a mob boss Jack Turner's has a plan to call up the top 10 criminals in the state of Nevada, when he gets his secret agent to call them up, him and his friend Pablo discuss the possibility of if they rob it they will take all the money to themselves so he calls all criminals and tells them to (play) the casino but when the Casino gets shut down after a few days he has a new idea they play with the money they have, and kill each other and take there money and meet him in a undercover location in Hawaii as the criminals kill each other only one is left standing and when Jack sees his "real' face he is shocked.

compares to

Smokin Aces
Pulp Fiction

Has an Al Pacino type charcter

Answer 1

I could swear you asked 'how does this action SCRIPT sound?' Sorry, but that's NOT a script. Not even close. It's just an idea you've written down. I was getting all ready to read part of a script. You should've just been honest and asked 'would this idea make a good script?' but anyway it sounds like you've take the premise of 'Ocean's Eleven' and want to end it like 'Resavoir Dogs'. You can be more original than that, one hopes. But, at least Hollywood isn't the only one running out of original ideas. I think you'd do better to change the 'concept' around 'just a little bit' and turn it into a theatrical version of 'Hawaii 5-O', or a sequel to it because I think they're already redoing it. but good luck either way. And one more thing though, instead of trying to be like the next Tarantino, why not try to be the unique and original Vegas Man... :-)

Answer 2

That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. First of all, that is nowhere near "a script." Second, you are not using correct grammar and punctuation. Third, whats with people's coming up with these mafia type movies, then calling themselves a writer. Here is a thought, write something no one has done, mafia movies don't ever do well in the box office.

-Kevin
President
Imperia Studios

Answer 3

i dont don't forget listening to.....but when it had, i would undoubtedly recognize :P however the part blood prince trailer DOES pop out in theatres the following day, so confidently the trailer will move onto youtube the following day too :)

Answer 4

Sounds like a eighty minute cliche. Hey, you wanted honesty.
No, I doubt I would watch this. In the hands of the right director/screenwriter/cast though, who knows?

Answer 5

if you are comparing this movie to smoking aces and pulp fiction than i would totally watch it but the criminals shouldnt be all men ya know? they should have alot of different backrounds and different specialties like in oceans eleven ya know? that would be pretty cool

before i heard the compared movies i thought of the departed and oceans eleven

thats my opinion

Answer 6

nice, might see it if i saw the trailer