I dont feel like a good mum?

Question

My 2 week old baby is healthy and feeds quite well, I have problems breast feeding but am trying my hardest. I am finding it hard though to get through the housework, cook meals and look after him, and it makes me feel like I am not handling things as well as I could. I am exhausted by mid afternoon. I never expected to be a supermum, but I didnt expect it to be this difficult either. Does anyone have any coping and time management ideas for me?

Answer 1

I love how everyone says, "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Yeah right! I think that happened once. It is a lot of work having a new baby and getting into the new routine. Having a dishwasher definitely helps. Don't over do it. Just do what you can and don't stress. The housework will always be there. Enjoy the baby =)

Answer 2

Feeling like that is exactly what I'm afraid of! I'm 31 weeks pregnant now with my first baby & don't even feel like cleaning at this point, I can't imagine later on.

But the others are right, you don't need to try to be supermom. You are still adjusting & it'll take time to get used to everything. As long as you & the baby are happy & healthy that's all that matters right now.

Try precooking some meals or you could try the Homestyle Bakes which you basically just mix in some water & bake for about 30-40 minutes then add a side dish.-Instant meal.

For the housework maybe make a list on the calender & do a few things each day while the baby is asleep. Also a family member or dad can help do a chore or 2 . Don't be afraid to ask, I mean you did all the work carrying the baby for 9 months right!

Also try a nap while baby is asleep, that alone will make you feel a LOT better. And please take a few minutes out for yourself each day, a 5 minute walk or read or watch tv or something while breastfeeding so that you don't get too overwhelmed. Getting too stressed will only make things worse on everyone. Best wishes to you & the baby! & don't forget to relax!

Answer 3

You are being WAY too hard on yourself. I felt exhausted with my first baby and felt like I would never get any decent sleep again.... and I now have 3 children - 4 years and under. I had b/feeding attachment problems with my 2nd two babies and it took 5 weeks for it to get better but I did go to a b/feeding day stay for my second born and they were very helpful and supportive. If you have that support, use it as you might pick up some tips so that baby feeds without compromising your important assets ;-p

Things that might help....
1. Have a nap when baby does - A MUST!!
2. When you cook, do a big batch and freeze the left over food. Cook simple meals.
3. Only clean if you can fit it in. No-one expects a new mum to have a spotless house and if they do then they are no friend.
4. Say "yes" to help and ask for support.
5. If you are feeling depressed, talk to your local GP about it to make sure you are not suffering from Post natal depression.
6. It IS difficult and life changing to have children and we all feel like it is hard work.
7. Find time to enjoy your baby....cuddles, talking to him/her, sleeps together with baby on your chest. That way it feels more enjoyable. I still have the occasional sleep with my 3 month old on my chest and we both feel good afterwards.

I am sure others will offer more but I hope you gain something from this. Most of all, look after yourself so that you can look after the little one that needs you. Congratulations!

Answer 4

Sweetie it's beenthree months since I had my son and my house is still a mess. Sure it can be frustrating but your health and the baby's is the most important thing right now. I know it's easier when you have support from family members, but some of us don't have that support system and it's overwhelming. I Know exactly how you feel as I went through the same feelings and I had the baby blues. But it will pass and I swear to you breastfeeding does get easier with time. When my son was two weeks old he would nurse for more than an hour and I never got sleep but now he's nursing for less than 20 mintues and he only wakes up twice during the night to feed.

My advice is forget the cooking and cleaning and concntrate on you and the baby. It's been three months and I still don't cook everyday and I don't feel bad because my son is happy and healthy and that's the most important thing for my hubby and I. I'ts alot of work but it's so worth it. You take care of that baby and yourself and forget trying to do everything else.

Try to enjoy it as time flies by and that baby starts growing more and more.

Answer 5

ah i remember this so well. It does get easier with time, my son is nearly 6 months old and only now i am getting the hang of things. Housework can wait, look after u and bub first ok? Having a baby is a huge thing to go through and is a major adjustment when you are home. Breastfeeding can take a while to get used to, but if you keep trying, i promise you that you will get used to doing it.
Just take a breather, and don't be so hard on yourself, you have just had a baby!! Enjoy it while you can, they grow up so quickly!
Oh, and sleep when the baby sleeps, it will make things easier for you. Eat quick meals for yourself, but make sure you are getting enough nutrition for feeding. Until the baby is about 3 months it a little hard to try to get everything done, after that it is very easy to put bub on a routine that works for both of you, then you can get a lot more done, until then, just do little bits at a time, and get some rest!

Answer 6

Oh, honey. Give yourself a break. Your house does not have to be perfect and neither do you. Don't let the house get nasty, but you can let certain things go for now. When the baby sleeps during the day, use that time to get a little nap in, there is nothing wrong with it and you need to get enough sleep too. Things will get better when your baby starts sleeping longer at night. During times where you do have energy, make several meals and freeze them, that way during the more rushed times you can just pop one in the microwave. Better yet, ask your Mom, sister, good friend, aunt, or whoever you think would be willing to help to make some meals for you that you can freeze. Breast feeding will get easier too. If your nipples are painful, make sure you gently wash them with plain water after each nursing session and then allow them to air dry before covering back up. Good Luck and Congrats on the new baby!

Answer 7

AWWWWWww your not a bad mom. You are a new mom who is over whemled with everything. The key thing right now is you and that baby. The housework will be there waiting for you when you can. Also ask your husband if he could help you or maybe your mom or sister for awhile. Take a nap when the baby sleeps. even if its for a half hour you will feel better. Also if nursing the baby does not work out, don't feel like you have failed, the baby will still be very healthy and well loved. Good luck ..

Answer 8

I will put in poin form, to make your life easier.
*Make sure you have time for yourself every day.
*If you don't relax, will affect the baby, and then you got more problems.
* Believe me, I went through this, my parents passed away before my kids were born, so was really tough.
*Read your favourite magazine or anything else you wish.
*Yep forget the cooking, make your life easier, if you got a partner have him involved in the meals preparation.
*Maybe you can do big batches and freeze it.
*And you are a god mum, otherwise you wouldn't be that worried.
*It is very important for you to relax so you can breastfeed your baby.
*Leave the house a bit, go for walks with the pram, check the shops, do things that make you happy.
*All the house chores can be done later.
*Listen to calming music, do some stretching and get some pre prepared meals.
*By the arvo, rest with your baby, when he/she goes to sleep so you.
*When you cook, go for simple stuff, things that are not that difficult to cook and doesn't need too much preparation, but that's is good too.
*When breastfeeding you need lots of green veggies and leaves:steam them, and a bit of butter on top, fish also is simple, grill, oven and voila, nutritious meals at no time.
*Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family, that's why they are here for.
*Give yourself a break.
*If you don't have a hobby, start one.
*A glass of red wine is great.
*Get together with other new mums, in your neighborhood, playgroup thing.
*Enjoy this time, the magic word is R E L A X
(my kids:Boy 16yr, Girl 11)

Answer 9

Make lots of meals on Sundays when your partner can hold the baby then you can make the side dishes quick and easy through the week. For example marinate chicken, make meat loaf in advance, make enchilada's, or casseroles. Ask for help from your mom, mother in law, sister, or a friend. Even if they just help you with the laundry, or dishes, or sweep. You can always employ a high school girl from 3-6pm for a small hourly fee to do light chores. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Your hospital should have a support group or a lactation nurse to help you with the breast feeding. Remember everyone needs help.

Answer 10

Get a baby sling so you can hold your baby and have free hands. It's amazing what you can get done with baby in a sling!

Take time for yourself. If you are tired and impatient, you won't be the mother you want to be. Feed and change baby, put him/her in a carseat or swing in the bathroom or bathroom doorway and take a bath. Repeat daily.

Don't worry about housework. There will be floors to sweep and laundry to do every day for the rest of your life. Your child is only a newborn once. Cherish every moment!

The Attachment Parenting Book by Sears and Sears is a life-saver. Read it!

Get out of the house a little. Today, I went to the library and checked out 4 books, went to a park and sat in the car in the sunshine (still cold outside here!) read a book and cuddled my son.

I read books and rest while breast or bottlefeeding my son.