My boyfriend of two years just asked me to marry him. We are planning a big wedding. He has told me the sky is the limit. My mother, sisters and I are actively ironing out every detail.
The problem is his ex-wife found out he is getting married again. She has vowed to make trouble for us. She doesn't want him to marry me. She says I am too young for him. There is seventeen years between us. He is 45--I am 28.
She has vowed to attend the wedding and object to the nuptials. She even told me that she wants him back. The thing is he can't stand her.
How do I keep this b***** from ruining my big day. How do I keep her from attending the wedding. She has stated that not receiving an invitation isn't gonna keep her away.
What am I to do? My fiancee has tried telling her to stay out of our lives but she just doesn't take a hint. She just keeps interjecting her two cents.
He has suggested giving her false information about the wedding date and location. Is this a good idea? Will it work?
2007-04-12 10:22:28 · 30 answers · asked by Lexie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a tough one. It may work to give her false info. But then again it may just make her madder. She sounds more than borderline psycho to me. First you need to find out why they got divorced in the first place. Next determine if this is the kind of life you really want.
I agree to inform the manager of what ever venue you decide to have your wedding and reception at that a guest that is not on the list is bound and determine to show up. Have them escort her out if she arrives.
You may even want to go and get a restraining order on her. I hope they don't have any children. They don't need this type of drama. They don't need to see mommy threatening daddy and his new love.
Hire security to stand guard at the door of the church and recpetion hall. Plus have the men in the white coats there to carry her off if need be.
Do whatever you have to do to have the best wedding day you can have. Enlist help. Friends and family will be all the willing to help you through something like this.
I saw a couple in this same situation on Whose Wedding Is It Anyway. Do what seems right to you.
By all means DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN INTIMIDATE YOU.
Show her you are not going to take her seriously. She may just be blowing off steam.
Congrats and good luck
2007-04-12 10:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
1. If there are no kids involved, tell her and have the fiance tell her to cease contact. Document that and try to have a witness sign saying they saw you tell her.
2. Document any thing she does and says in a notebook just for her. Keep any email, phone message, etc. to prove the harrassment.
3. File harrassment charges with your local or state police if she continues then call the police and find out how to file a "No contact Order" against her, prohibiting her from any contact whatsoever.
4. Have someone look out for her and call the police if she comes. You may even consider hiring someone just for that job so that she cannot attempt to make a scene at your wedding.
5. Call your local police and ask them. In the meantime, have your fiance stop speaking with her period. If there are kids, then work out pick-up and drop off with someone else so that they don't even see each other. You can get that court-ordered. The kids don't need her drama (if they have any).
You have the right to not be threatened and harrassed. She will have the right to remain silent if she keeps it up.
Congratulations.
2007-04-12 10:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your fiancee give his ex false info about the wedding is a good idea or make sure she doesn't find out anything it is none of her business that he's getting married again. The relationship them two had together that ship has sailed and she needs to move on and realize her ex wants nothing to do with her. If need be get a restraining order put out on her or make sure the men in white coats are there to take her away she sounds psycho.
2007-04-12 10:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should get a restraining order on her? I mean seriously, if she is constantly threatening you guys and you tell her to stop and leave you alone.. then what else can you do?
Telling her the wrong date and location would not make anything better. She'll only become more furious and want to make things worse. I suggest either telling her the consequences of her actions or filing a restraining order right away.
I hope you have a beautiful wedding regardless! And good luck.
2007-04-12 10:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by paperflower 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually this happened to a family friend. What you need to do is talk to the people where you are going to have your wedding and the person who is going to marry you. Tell the of the situation. Then contact the police. Have them call her and tell her that if she enters the property she will be trespassing. She can be arrested. When you rent a building or a room in a building you have the right to tell people that they cannot come in. Therefor she will be Trespassing. Having the police inform her of this documents the problem.
2007-04-12 10:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first find out if you can attend a wedding without an invitation, like if it's in a church, can you have someone arrested for showing that you have specifically NOT invited. I would just for your safety speak with law enforcement to see if she could be borderline stalking. I'd also have 2 people posted at the entrance to the wedding to physically pick her up and remove her before she is in the church (or where ever you are getting married. YOU must not act like it is upsetting you when she sees you. DON"T LET HER THINK FOR ONE MINUTE SHE IS A THREAT TO YOU.
2007-04-12 10:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suggest you elope and have a big wedding at a later date. What's a big wedding anyway, if you truly love someone it really doesn't matter what you do for your wedding. I hope this advice helps. Keep your chin up and don't let anyone ever come between you and yours. Show her that you are a better person than what she thinks. Best Wishes to you both.
2007-04-12 10:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her a ticket to Las Vegas for the time and date you intend to have the ceremoney. Tell her the ceremony is going to be at whatever casino you want (Circus Circus has a nice chapel) then hold your wedding anywhere else. She will be spitting mad when she gets back, but you won't have to feel guilty- she will have had a vacation in Las Vegas... Just giving her a false location and date won't work... Get her out of town, way out of town
2007-04-12 10:29:41 · answer #8 · answered by jpturboprop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you even communicate with her? Do the ex and your bf have children together? Why did they get divorced? Tell her she isn't welcome at your wedding and that if she shows up you will have the police come out and remove her from the premises. In the meantime, quit talking to her and that goes for your bf, too. I hope he's not marrying you to rub it in his ex's face - you might just be a "See, I can get a young thing," nah, nah, nah, nah in your face type thing. People are childish and quite frankly if he's still communicating with her when he doesn't have to then he isn't over it. Sorry.
2007-04-12 10:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this counts as harrassment, and is criminal. She's stalking you and your fiancee. I suggest that you talk to the police and get a restraining order against her. You can tell her that if she shows her face anywhere near you she will be arrested. By the way, my wife is 12 years older than me and we've been married 15 years. So, she's crazy!
2007-04-12 10:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by chuck_flacks 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋