I was under the impression our sex drives were equal when we met. We enjoyed the same pleasures and had a ton of fun doing them until we became serious. Now he won't even talk about sex. I used to get the sexy text messages while away from him, but if i send one now he responds with i love you. If i try to touch him sexually while i'm walking by he moves or if i bring it up he totally ignores me or acts like he didn't hear what i said. we shower together and are playful with each other at all times and he is very loving and affectionate but sexually he wants nothing to do with me. I've tried to talk about it or ask if i turn him on at all and he says of course you turn me on and then that's the end of our conversation. He won't communicate about our sex life at all with me and he is always the one saying i need to communicate more with him when i'm upset. What has happened to our sexual spark that got us where we are now? Is his behavior normal, is it because i'm pregnant?
2007-04-12 09:37:35 · 22 answers · asked by byrd 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This is normal, as you get bigger then man usually tends to feel as though they will hurt you or the baby. IT is fine, plus he can probably see how tired you are, whether you are trully or not!
Don't worry things will get back to normal a little while after delivery.
2007-04-12 09:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by ChelYox 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um, he's texting other girls in order to meet up for sex & he's trying to make it seem like it's your fault & that it was all a drunk thing? Hon? This sounds pretty premeditated to me. I'm thinking that this probably isn't the first time this has happened. And even if it was, this means that cheating is on his mind. You don't just get drunk & suddenly think "hey, I'm going to call an ex & get her to have sex with me". (And what makes you think that he didn't bang her?) Plus, why does he still have a current number for his ex? The fact that he doesn't understand how this would be cheating also sends out warning signs. Anyone with half a brain cell knows that sex texts is cheating. He's just trying to brainwash you into thinking that you are the bad guy & that you are overreacting so he can go out & do this again. (And again, and again.) This smells fishy to me. I would put my foot down & prepare to move in with a friend or family member. I'm predicting that this is going to become all too common... especially after the baby is born. If he is tempted to cheat NOW, then what will he be like after the baby is born & you are even more stressed & tired than you are now?
2016-05-18 02:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys (like my husband) are afraid that they might hurt you or the baby by having sex - especially the closer you get to delivery and/or if you've had any problems with your pregnancy (like high blood pressure/sugar/etc). Sometime sex in the last month can actually bring on labor. If he's heard this, he may be being over cautious because he might not understand everything he's heard. My husband didn't want to talk about his fears either because he was afraid he would scare me or worry me too. He was the one who cried "headache" while I wanted more sex. Be patient with him and don't try to press him. He is probably just concerned about your health and the baby's.
One thing that my husband was comfortable with was oral sex. He wasn't afraid of hurting me or the baby because he wasn't on top or inside me. It's easier and less invasive. Try taking the initiative and pleasuring only him. Let him get comfortable with that without any pressure to pleasure back and he will come back around.
2007-04-12 09:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by Bajheera c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many men that are afraid of hurting the baby so they don't want sex. Personally I had no desire for sex when I was pregnant, nor any desire for several months after having my baby. Also men that see the mother of their soon to be children in a much different way. Sending sexy text msg. is also something couples tend to do in the beginning of a relationship and this also changes are couples get settled into day-to-day life with each other (doesn't mean you love the person any less).
Hang in there it does get better.
2007-04-12 09:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lizard 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well how long have you been together? did this behavior start after you were pregnant? It doesn't sound like he is turned off or anything if you still shower together and stuff.
I know that my bf is weirded out with the pregnancy issue and this is our second. he doesn't want to have sex i feel like he is turned off by me to and he says no i'm crazy but he is just uncomfortable with me being pregant especially now that i am at the very end. (38.4 weeks).
I wouldn't worry to much or look for reasons, i think it is a guy thing someguys are turned on by preggos others are a little intimated and shy away.
2007-04-12 09:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by emery_sage 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's scared that if he touches you you will go into labor or he will hurt the baby. Talk to him. I had the same problem with my hubby both times I was pregnant. He was so scared that something would happen and it would be his fault for having sex. He figured he could live without it until after the kids were born.
I had to try to educate him and tell him the dr said it was ok...he still was scared though!
2007-04-12 09:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes men are scared to get to intimate while pg. that and sometimes they don't see you as a sex toy anymore but as the mother of there child. There whole view of you changes. Most of the time it will go back to normal after the baby is bron. He maybe scared of hurting you or the baby or maybe he thinks you don't want it now that you are so far along. Sit him down and make him give you more that a few word answer. ask specific questions
2007-04-12 09:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by debcat76135 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he is uncomfortable having sex with you because you are pregnant. Many men feel as though it may make you uncomfortable or they may fear that it could hurt the baby. When I was pregnant, the sex in my relationship dwindled down as well. Try to explain to him how you feel! Make sure he understands that you need to feel desired at a time like this.
Another option is to bring him with you to your next doctor's appointment. Talk with the doctor about whether or not it is safe for you to remain sexually active throughout the remainder of your pregnancy.
I hope this helps and I hope you get the answers that you need!
2007-04-12 09:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by brooke_longwell2002 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would try not to worry about it to much. A lot of men are afraid that having sex that far along in pregnancy will hurt the baby or in some way jepordize your health. I'm 37 weeks pregnant now and I went through the same thing you are going through. I finally got him to open up and talk to me about it and found out that he was just afraid that somehow he would hurt me or the baby. After talking to my dr he was finally convinced that it was ok. Good luck!
2007-04-12 09:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some guys just aren't comfortable having sex with a pregnant woman. It has nothing to do with how much they love or desire their partner, it has more to do with the fact she's pregnant.
The best thing to do would be to talk to him. By this I don't mean to accuse him or to be suggestive. Talk to him in an adult manner. It may not change his views about wanting to have sex right now, but it may bring you closer emotionally.
2007-04-12 09:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by CatTech 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋