Im 18, Im pregnant & I broke up with my bf. What should I do?

Question

Ok, I broke up with my bf [He's 19] not knowing I was pregnant. We were having many problems so I left him. I would text him sometimes asking why he renounced me so quickly & all he could say was he would do everything for me & then I go on saying he doesn't treate me right. And to leave him alone.

If he calls treating me right by Standing me up,Commenting on other girls,Visiting me only when he was bored,Comparing me to his ex, and Rarely going out anywhere. Then YES he did treate me right. He wasn't like this at the begining. He gradually changed through time.

I had NEVER had sex with any other than him. I took the Error Proof Test which is 99.9% accurate. Im still going to visit a clinic to be absolutely sure.

Im just wondering how should I tell him? Now that I left him, he wants nothing to do with me. I don't want him back [Im over him] I just want him to know that Im expecting. And should I tell my parents or just leave? Any kind of help would be appreciated. Thanks!

I definately remember having Safe Sex [Trojan] every single time. Although I remember the condom slipping out twice. And having a rip once. I didn't think much of it at the time.

Im not really the jelouse type its just very disrespectful. Just because you don't stand up for yourself doesn't mean I shouldn't. I mean its ok to look at other girls heck, I look at other guys too. But I do not to speak of it or act on it.

Thats just being rude. He wouldn't think about it. He would tell me. It came to the point where I didn't even care anymore so I decided to leave him because nobody deserves to be treated that way. I never compared him to any of my ex's neither did I comment on how Hot I thought a guy was. I am a No Drama Chick but that doesn't mean I should take his sh*t either. Trust me I know NOT ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT cus most of my friends are Guys and they didn't really like him that much either.

As for the child, Im actually kind of excited. Im looking foward to being a mother, I already have a job. Honestly I don't need my ex in my life anymore. I can do without him just fine.

Im hoping my parents will support me through these times. Its just going to be hard telling them because Im afraid what might happen to their health.

My mother is a Diabetic and my father has Epelepsy. I don't want to a burden for them. Im just wondering how should I tell them? Also to just let my ex know? I dont want him back thats why I left him. I just want him to know.

Answer 1

Even thou he doesn't want to talk to you, he still needs to know, i would ask him if he would meet you for lunch or dinner and tell him face to face, that you are pregnant, and it is up to him if he wants to be involed or not, but weather or not he wants to be in the baby's life make sure you get him for child support, he is just as much responsible for this baby as you are. if he doesn't want to meet with you then you can tell him over the phone, but i think it would be better in person.

Good luck

Answer 2

I think you should let him know. Call him if you can if he doesn't answer the phone for you just leave a message. I think everyone has the right to know and it would be awful years later to find out you had a child and never knew about it. (Especially if he grows up a little bit).

As for what to do. Definatly talk to your parents. Generally they have good advice and will help you. If you think they're going to be negative and not care then call them so you won't have to listen to yelling in your face.

If you can afford to take care of a baby and work then by all means keep the baby. Single moms have hard lives but all the ones I've talked to wouldn't change a thing. (Well maybe the father.) If you know you can't do that, congratulations you're responsible. Look into adoption. Even if you happen to know a couple that is unable to conceive you could do a private adoption. It would probably be best to find an adoption agency that would let you interview prospective parents and even have them at the birth. Its better for the baby to bond immediatly after.

Other than that, look into some sort of support group with other girls that have been through similar or the same circumstance. Its nice to have a support group if you don't have family or a husband/bf to support you. Hopefully though your parents will help after all this is probably thier first grandchild. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, if you and your parents have a good relationship, start there. They will have your best interests at heart.

As a mother to be, you will put the interests of your baby first and consider what is best for the child. You might decide that the b/f is basically a good person who was acting immature (because he is only 19 and that is quite normal behavior).

When you want to break the news to the b/f, have both your parents with you. You will need the moral support. If you decide not to tell him, which is a perfectly good option considering that the chances of collecting child support from a 19 year old boy are slim and that his claim to the child could tie you up in courts for nearly two decades and complicate any future relationships, let your parents guide you. Adoption is also an option. At 18, the responsibilities of parenthood may be more than you really can manage.

Whatever your choices, I hope all goes well for you and the baby. Take your time, decide what is best for all involved.

Answer 4

First find out for sure whether if you are pregnant or not.
If you are, go to your doctor and start getting prenatal care. Your health and your baby's health are above anything.
Then you need to tell your boyfriend. He shuld be aware of what's happening. If you don't want anything with him, he can at least be there to support you for your next step which should be: telling your parents.
Like all parents, they should be able to help you. Of course, they will not be happy at first, but you can't blame them.
After your baby is born, I'm sure they will change their mind.
Now, IF your boyfriend doesn't want to know anything about your baby, and your parents kick you out of the house, THEN, you should go to a church and seek for help. There are also shelters for girls like you. Now if you do not want your baby, I beg you to plese go to a church and get some consueling. If you decide u don't want to bear the burden, you can always give them to adoption, be strong, many girls have been in your situation, and they have come though. Just whatever you do, DO NOT get an abortion. That is something you will regret the rest of your life.
If nothing else works, seek guidence from God. He will teach you how to make all the right choices.
Good luck ;)
oxox
~J

Answer 5

Aww honey...I know the feeling and I feel for you. When I found out I was pregnant (with no boyfriend) I was super scared. All I can tell you is that he does deserve to know. Just be honest, tell him that you are not trying to use this to "keep" him you just wanted him to be aware of the facts. And I would wait to tell him until you see a doctor and know for sure, that way you don't have any unneccesary arguments. Now what he may do after you tell him may make you love him or hate him more. But regardless of his reaction, just know that you CAN do this! It seems extremely overwhelming and frightening in the beginning but once you feel that life inside you, it will give you the strength to become a strong, supportive mother.
Now if it were me I would definitely tell your parents. They may be the best support you have at the moment. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is so you are really the only judge about that. My dad was super upset in the beginning but once he saw his grandson he was singing a different song. So all I have to say is be strong and take it day by day. Yes being a single mom is extremely hard but your child is worth every hardship life throws at you. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I am so sorry, that life has become so difficult for you. All of this depends a lot on what your expectations are of this 19 yr old B/F and of your parents. A good way would be: to inform your Parents first, they may be willing to help you to inform this 19 yr old B/F Of course the ideal way would be if you would be married in order to provide the baby with legitimacy, and if both of you would be willing to work on the marriage, in order to provide the child with a set of Parents.Now there may become variants to this solutions, and you could certainly use the help and wisdom of your own Parents to guide you, as often these young man are not ready or willing to accept the responsibility of being a parent or providing support for the child they have fathered, and will deny it. I hope your parents will be willing to forgive your mistake and will be supportive, and helpful. Do come back for help if things become difficult, you will be finding more help here if you decide that you need it .Take it easy and one day at a time.

Answer 7

You should tell him and your parents. Your parents will be a great support system, even if they aren't thrilled with the news.
Please consider adoption. There are thousands of couples who would love a child and there are adoption agencies that will allow you to choose the adoptive parents. You can make sure that they have good jobs, a home with a yard and good values. And the ability to do the very best for the child. There is no shame involved.
As far as leaving, don't. You'll ruin your life and your child's life. Growing up in an apartment living off WIC, food stamps and welfare is no way to raise a child.

Answer 8

Since you are 18, you can make any decision you want. I would highly recommend deciding what you want with this child. How you are going to be able to care for it, how is it going to change your future, do you want to deal with your ex even if he is with someone new? If you keep the child then you will have to deal with him, and see him at different things throughout your child's life, FOREVER. Once you have made that decision, let your parents know. They probably won't be happy first, but most parents come around, and without a steady father in his/her life, you will want the grandparents love. If you choose to put it up for adoption, there are a lot of great families out there. I have been there before and have made both decisions (I had my son when I was 18 and then the daughter I adopted out at 19) so if you need to email me with any other questions it's [e-mail] and I will help you any way I can

Answer 9

Call him and let him know you are pregnant, and that as soon as the baby is born you will be doing a paternity test to prove that he is the father, unless he is willing to sign a waiver because he knows you have been faithful to him. You need to tell your parents. They may be upset, but you will need their support and love througout this tough time, and they may be more supportive of you than you think. They can also help you decide what you do, ie-give the baby up for adoption, help you raise the child, and if you do, they can help fund the legal proceedings to get child support and actual visitation/custody orders drawn up. Unless you don't want him involved with the child, then leave it be, but that is unfair to your child.

Answer 10

Tell parents. They know you best, probably, and can help you form a decision. Adoption is an option, if you can emotionally handle it, and cannot handle a child. If you keep the child.....go to family court and ask for child support. They will attach his wages and if he doesn't pay they will take away his license, take his tax refunds, and/or put him in jail. However, you may want to work out a payment deal with him first and see if he pays you first without the courts, but let him know if he misses one payment you'll have it court ordered.

Courts are better at locating and getting money from dads in many ways now. I feel sorry for the guy if you keep it.

Answer 11

Never Never just leave your parents. You should tell them because they will always be there to help you. I got pregnant when I was 17 had the baby when I was 18 and my mom and dad was mad at first but when the baby came they got over it fast! And as for telling the guy... If you don't want him back I would tell him look... I'm not saying this to get you back but I want you to know that I am going to have your baby. Just explain to him what you wrote on here. If he doesnt believe it's his child have a test done and prove to him. There's nothing you can really do just tell him that your are expecting and that you wanted him to know.. If you do not want him in your life or dont care if hes in your life just tell him. I wanted you to know you are going to be a father but you do not have to be apart of our life. Good luck and God Bless you! Just don't leave your parents... Tell them!